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Wedding Etiquette Forum

First awkward guest issue

We invited Mr. and Mrs. Smith and their single 18 year old daughter (I'll call her D), who got her own personal invitation addressed only to her.  Mrs. Smith asked my mom if it would be okay for D to bring a date.  My mom handled it well, and said that due to space constraints, we only have room for a certain amount of guests. So, no, she's not able to bring a date.  Today I get a text from D asking me the same thing.  With the benefit of the doubt, maybe Mrs. Smith didn't tell D that she had already talked to my mom.  But still.  I wish people wouldn't put others in these awkward positions.

D is truly single.  If she had an SO I would have invited him.  I think it's just a matter of her not wanting to be bored at the wedding and have a "date" to be there with her.  She will know plenty of others at the reception, some of whom are also single.  Then she asks if she can just call him after dinner is over and attend the "dancing" part of the reception, which I know is generally an ettiquette no-no.

WHAT am I supposed to do about this??

ETA: for clarity.
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Re: First awkward guest issue

  • I would say the exact same thing as your mom did.
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  • Just stick to your guns.  "I'm sorry, D, we won't be able to accomodate any additional guests.  Can't wait to see you at the wedding!"  Lather, rinse, repeat.
  • pokepoke27pokepoke27 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited July 2012
    If she's going to be so "bored" then she doesn't have to go. 

    I would stick to your guns about this. You do not need to invite her with a guest. 

    ETA: I also would not tell her it's okay to have her guest meet her there for the dancing part. It's rude and actually quite awkward. 
  • pkontkpkontk member
    500 Comments
    edited July 2012
    I agree with PPs, just stay firm with her that you cannot accommodate extra people, for dinner or for dancing.
  • If you don't want to include this extra random guest, you don't have to. PP's suggestions on what to say are good and it's totally fine to stick to your guns.

    At my DW, my 18 year old cousin actually had a friend visiting Vegas at the same time. She nor my aunt ever asked for him to be invited to the actual wedding, but my aunt did casually mention it in conversation one day and asked what I would think if he came after dinner and hung out. I said I didn't mind. I think the subtext was my aunt would rather the friend come to the dancing/after dinner part than her daughter leave the reception early to go hang out in Vegas with this person. I think it was also pre-emptive, just in case this came up with my cousin. I still have no idea if came or not, but my cousin was definitely there all evening.
  • If she is going to be bored she should decline the invitation.
  • Stick to your guns, if there is no room to accomodate, then obviously you cannot.  Also, she's 18, she does not need to bring her new bf to your wedding.  :)
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