Sorry to be a PW, but I need to know (apologies in advance if this ends up being long). CN at the bottom.
My family is German and my Dad always wants to do our immediate family xmas dinner/presents on the 24th. My SIL always seems to have to work on the 24th until 6 pm which means but the time she closes the store, and gets out to my Dad's dinner isn't until 8 pm. This is also the 3rd year in a row this has happened.
FI's family has a Christmas Open house at his Aunt's every year on the 24th as well. And although it starts at 5 pm, it doesn't really get going until 8 or 9. This is also one of the only times each year that FI gets to see his extended family.
I talked to my brother and SIL about her schedule and asked that next year we be able to have a normal time so that FI and I can make it to his family xmas since this is now the 2nd year we'll miss out on seeing most of them (we'll go from 5-7 but hardly anyone will be there). My SIL then freaked out on me and told me that if I have a problem wtih it that I shouldn't go to my own family xmas. She also told me that making sure FI and I are able to see his family is not her priority.
My Dad and SM called last night about something unrelated and so I brought it up to them and said that we always seem to be working around SILs schedule and that other people in the family have stuff to go to and that next year if SIL is going to have to work again I don't want to have it on the 24th since it's not fair.
SM then made a comment that she was once hard to get along with too and wanted everything to be her way when she was younger. I don't want everything to be my way, I just don't want to have to have dinner at 8 pm and keep missing out on seeing FIs family! I suggested we could do it on Christmas day in the morning, but that won't work because SILs family does it then.
While I understand that this is her job, if it were me that was constantly making my ILs wait and miss their other family events I would tell people to go ahead and eat and that I would make myself a plate of food when I got there. But apparently this is too much to ask of her.
We always seem to be accommodating SILs schedule and her family events but there is never any consideration for FIs or my schedules. I got so fed up that I told SM that if we keep going down this path and there's no consideration for FI and I that we won't see them over Christmas at all next year and they'll just have to deal with that.
My SIL also doesn't cook or clean or drive because she "doesn't like it" which means my brother is her chef, maid and chauffeur. She also has pretty extreme dietary concerns and refuses to make food when SM and I have asked her to help. Her excuse is that she's "too busy." Because apparently I, who now has to fit in 6 Christmas get togethers in 3 days (and bring food for all of them) have so much extra time to run around getting her special ingredients and making her food.
FWIW, I don't know if any of you will remember but this is also the SIL that asked me to throw her a buck and doe (fundraising party for the wedding common in my area) and has not sent out her thank you notes 6 months after the wedding.
CN: SIL has to work Xmas eve for the 3rd year in a row meaning that we have to eat dinner at 8 pm and miss out on FI's family event. This is the only time FI gets to see his family all year and no one in my family seems to give any consideration to anyones scheedule but SILs. I tried to suggest doing our family events another day to accomodate other peoples schedules but this has been bet with more refusals.
Am I being a brat about this or am I justifed in being upset?