Wedding Party

MOH wants something to do

Well, I know this is a good thing and not a problem, but I could use suggestions.

My sister is my MOH.  We're only a year and a half apart in age and we've been best friends our whole lives.  She is so excited about the wedding, especially because she's never been in a wedding party before, let alone the MOH.  She is super-excited about the role of MOH.

She's been asking me every time I see her, "When are we going to start doing some wedding planning?  What do you want me to do?  When do I get to help you with wedding stuff?"  I think it is so sweet that she is so eager and excited, but I honestly can't think of anything, because I've really just been taking care of it all myself.

I just assumed that she would just get her dress, hold her bouquet, and walk down the aisle, that's it.  I told her that, and she said, "No, I want to help you plan!"  She did come with me to buy my dress and she's been looking at pictures of bridesmaid dresses, but I'm hard-pressed to think of anything else for her to do.

Usually, I like to just take charge and do things myself.  I'm not a person who likes to ask others for help, plus we have a lot of stuff done already.  I would feel bad asking her to do some of these tedious tasks anyway.  But it is clear that she wants more of a role in this.  What can I ask her to do so she feels like she helping?
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Re: MOH wants something to do

  • In Response to MOH wants something to do:
    Well, I know this is a good thing and not a problem, but I could use suggestions. My sister is my MOH.  We're only a year and a half apart in age and we've been best friends our whole lives.  She is so excited about the wedding, especially because she's never been in a wedding party before, let alone the MOH.  She is super-excited about the role of MOH. She's been asking me every time I see her, "When are we going to start doing some wedding planning?  What do you want me to do?  When do I get to help you with wedding stuff?"  I think it is so sweet that she is so eager and excited, but I honestly can't think of anything, because I've really just been taking care of it all myself. I just assumed that she would just get her dress, hold her bouquet, and walk down the aisle, that's it.  I told her that, and she said, "No, I want to help you plan!"  She did come with me to buy my dress and she's been looking at pictures of bridesmaid dresses, but I'm hard-pressed to think of anything else for her to do. Usually, I like to just take charge and do things myself.  I'm not a person who likes to ask others for help, plus we have a lot of stuff done already.  I would feel bad asking her to do some of these tedious tasks anyway.  But it is clear that she wants more of a role in this.  What can I ask her to do so she feels like she helping?
    Posted by walgrrl
    Is there anything she can research for you? Maybe some DIY project that you can turn over to her? It's great that you've got reasonable expectations of her, but if she's really itching to help and genuinely wants to, it's totally fine to take advantage of that, and don't feel bad. You can always let her know that if she doesn't want to do something in particular, she can tell you.

    I had family members chomping at the bit to help, too. I ended up asking several to make stuff for our dessert table; they were happy to feel like they were pitching in, and I was happy to have one less thing on my list. I also had some people who really wanted to help with DIY stuff, so I invited them over when I was working; sometimes they just ended up hanging out and keeping me company while I did the work, but that was good, too.

    If there's really nothing to do, I think filling her in on all the details should suffice.  At the very least, she'll know that you're not holding out on her when you say there's nothing for her to do.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • Can she come with you to food and/or cake tastings? 

    It's very sweet that she's so excited.
    image
  • Thanks!  That is a great suggestion!  She is very artistic and creative, so as it gets closer to the wedding, I'll see if she wants to make some pretty decorations, maybe for the placecard table or cake table.  She loves doing stuff like that!

    Other than that, I have been telling her every little detail, like each time I book a vendor, and she gets so excited for it!  She is so cute, I love her so much!
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  • That is so awesome that she wants to help you with things.  I know it sounds kinda bratty but I wish some of my maids were more like that.  I don't expect them to do anything extra and I'm not mad but I would be so excited if they were always bugging me to help. 
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