Inviting people to ceremony/reception verse 2nd reception

cchermoine · August 2012

I'm getting married in my fiance's hometown and having a second "causal" reception in my hometown a week after the wedding. We seem to love alot of people and had to really cut our guest list for the ceremony/reception in his hometown. Those on the guest list would receive invitations to the first and second reception (we decided that they would have to choose between one or the other). Between each reception site, it's only about 5 hours so we're not sure how many people are going to come to the second reception. We had the thought of a seperate invitation to those people that we couldn't invite to the first reception and invite them to the second reception instead. Our major concern is if this will tick people off and if it's decent etiquette. We're both graduating from college so we're tight on money and people realize that, but I don't want to seem like I don't want those people at the first reception! Any thoughts? I can't seem to find really good advice about this anywhere!

Gabrielle76 · August 2012

Unless one of the events is REALLY small (immediate family only small) then everyone you invite has to be invited to everything. You can't invite them to choose between on of the other, or invite some people to one but not the other. Honestly, if money is tight, just have one reception, and invite everyone you want invited.

LeiselEB · August 2012

Is having just one ceremony and one reception maybe in a town between each of your hometowns an option? I'm assuming travel is the issue here, and maybe that your families want your to marry in your respective hometowns?

Really, this plan doesn't make much sense. I think you'll need to either choose one of your hometowns to have the whole shebang in, or pick a new location - having two receptions just because doesn't really work.

I guess I don't see how that makes a difference if you're inviting the same number of people and just having them choose which reception to go to. It all just seem unnecessary to me.

Avion22 · August 2012

I agree with the others -- choose one location for your ceremony and reception, and invite everyone. Many people will travel 5 hours for a wedding (my husband's family traveled almost 12 to ours). It's very common in these days for a Bride and Groom to come from different parts of the country (or even different countries!), and everyone understands that they have to pick one location for their wedding that works best for them. Some people won't be able to make it, but that's their decision to make, not yours. So invite everyone, and see what happens.

If you want to have an informal BBQ or whatever sometime down the road, then that's fine, and you can invite whoever you want. It's fine to make plans to get together with people who won't be able to travel to your wedding. But this party shouldn't be a "Second Reception", and shouldn't really have anything to do with your wedding.

DramaGeek · August 2012

Ditto the others. It is not unheard of at all for people to travel 5 hours for a wedding. In fact, once a friend and I drove 4 hours to a wedding, got out of the car and walked into the ceremony, stayed for dinner at the reception, and then drove the 4 hours back home.

Kate61487 · August 2012

Ditto PPs, have the casual reception you can afford with all the guests you want to invite. To properly do what you're planning you either A. invite everyone to everything, which could mean hosting a lot of people twice because five hours isn't that far or B. Make the bbq just a normal get together with no wedding decor, activities, or other attributes.

Kristin789 · August 2012

Ditto.

Have the wedding and the ONLY reception in FI's hometown on June 23. Invite everyone from FI's hometown, your hometown, and wherever else. This IS your ONLY wedding and your reception follows the wedding.

Then later in the summer, like August, you could have some kind of open house/BBQ in your hometown, and invite everyone in your hometown. Some of those people will have made the trip to see your wedding and participate in your reception on June 23. Some of those people had to skip it. Whatever. This is NOT a "second reception." It's a BBQ.

DramaGeek · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-people-to-ceremonyreception-verse-2nd-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c0f7bdf5-1f6d-4595-beec-4e8a780a276fPost:2199edbe-f7b6-45ba-9713-c097ce09f9ea">Re: Inviting people to ceremony/reception verse 2nd reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Ditto. Have the wedding and the ONLY reception in FI's hometown on June 23. Invite everyone from FI's hometown, your hometown, and wherever else. This IS your ONLY wedding and your reception follows the wedding. Then later in the summer, like August, you could have some kind of open house/BBQ in your hometown, and invite everyone in your hometown. Some of those people will have made the trip to see your wedding and participate in your reception on June 23. Some of those people had to skip it. Whatever. This is NOT a "second reception." It's a BBQ.
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Whoa. Mind blown. It makes sense and is advice from this century!</div>

StephBeanWed61502 · August 2012

In Response to Re:Inviting people to ceremony/reception verse 2nd reception:[QUOTE]Whoa. nbsp;Mind blown. nbsp;It makes sense and is advice from this century! Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

AND there's no reference to OP's "poor mother." I'm joining you on the "mind blown" bench.

Kristin789 · August 2012

LOL...

cchermoine · August 2012

Thank you so much for everyone's imput! It's been very helpful!

Inviting people to ceremony/reception verse 2nd reception

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