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cash bar

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Re: cash bar

  • hoffsehoffse member
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  • Yes.
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  • Yes!

    You should never expect your guests to pay for anything at the reception.  The reception is suppose to be a thank you to your guests for coming to your wedding ceremony and having them pay for things is not a good way to thank them, is it?

  • egm900egm900 member
    500 Comments
    Yes, the reception is the thank you to your guests for coming to the wedding.  Asking guests to buy their own beverages isn't much of a thank you.  There is nothing wrong with limiting the bar selection or having a dry wedding.
  • Yes. If you wanted to host wine and beer for your guests that is perfectly okay, but making them pay for their drinks is indeed tacky.
  • I would say yes.  If you can't afford it then don't have one or maybe had a couple of signature drinks instead.
  • aragx6aragx6 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:be503f33-debf-4994-a3d6-8b66a261c722Post:664e60bc-0f7c-47e4-a795-6365394a33de">Re: cash bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]Eh, I'd rather have a cash bar than a dry wedding or a wedding that only had keg beer.  I mean, host what you can afford but as a guest, I'd rather have the option to buy booze.
    Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

    I'd rather annoy guests with a dry wedding than offend them with a cash bar.
    Lizzie
  • Either booze you've paid for or no booze at all. If you can, just do a wine, or a signature drink. But if you can't afford any alcohol, that's completely fine. But I always side eye cash bars, and I'm sure your guests will, too.

  • I'm going to go out on a limb (a weak one) and suggest that it depends.

    Where I'm from, only the rich throw weddings with free liquor.  I think in the entire time I lived there, I attended 1, maybe 2 weddings with an open bar.  All other weddings were subsidized bar - you paid a buck or two per drink.

    But if that's NOT where you're from, then hell yeah, it's rude to have a cash bar.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
  • Even though cash bars are quite common around here (FWIW, we didn't have one--we hosted beer and wine), yes, I do think they're tacky. Given the choice between no alcohol and paying for alcohol, I would rather pay to have a cocktail or glass of wine, but you should really host everything at your wedding. Guests should not have to pay for anything.


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  • In my area, it would be unheard of to NOT have a cash bar. No one around here hosts a full bar. Beer and wine are the norm, and you can buy whatever else you choose.

    So, I'm way on the other side of everyone here, it is definitely not tacky to have a cash bar. I side eye people who pay for a full bar because it makes me think they spent too much money on their wedding.

    I'm sure you all will love my answer :) Let the mean comments begin...
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  • I do not drink very much and my dad said he would pay for beer and wine... and that if the guest want something else they can buy it. I was just getting an opinion
  • If you have a dry bar please let your guests know by word of mouth beforehand. I would be really upset if I didn't have my flask in my purse.
    Wedding date July 7, 2012
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:be503f33-debf-4994-a3d6-8b66a261c722Post:6d6853bd-84e5-427d-948d-ed10bb012a6e">Re: cash bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: cash bar : She said she was going to do beer and wine for free.  Why should she notify everyone that they need to bring a flask?  
    Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

    It was a joke to all the posters saying a dry wedding is fine.
    Wedding date July 7, 2012
  • I have only been to one wedding with a cash bar, and the guests all thought it was rude. I've been to plenty of weddings with limited bars (including one where the only refreshments were KFC, moonshine, and RC) and no bars. We had an open bar, and we made sacrifices elsewhere in the budget to accommodate it. I refused to scrimp on food and booze. About half the guest list flew in from across the country, and I was not going to thank them by making them open their wallets.
  • You'll always get a variety of opinions on this topic.  I would much rather attend a wedding with a full open bar, but I'd much rather pay for my drinks than have a dry wedding.  I think what you've got offered by your dad is great, beer and wine hosted.  No one needs to buy hard alcohol if they have those two options.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:be503f33-debf-4994-a3d6-8b66a261c722Post:ac7868c7-665d-4404-9218-917364bbcb12">Re: cash bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]In my area, it would be unheard of to NOT have a cash bar. No one around here hosts a full bar. Beer and wine are the norm, and you can buy whatever else you choose. So, I'm way on the other side of everyone here, it is definitely not tacky to have a cash bar. I side eye people who pay for a full bar because it makes me think they spent too much money on their wedding. I'm sure you all will love my answer :) Let the mean comments begin...
    Posted by Sunshine811[/QUOTE]

    This! I have NEVER been to a wedding that didnt have a cash bar! And I have never heard anyone think that is wrong. We are going to have free keg beer, and a cash bar if you choose to have other drinks. There is nothing wrong with that. People dont have to buy other drinks. I suppose it's different from where you live though.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:be503f33-debf-4994-a3d6-8b66a261c722Post:f81f8e54-8ab2-4df1-b0c9-24f1bcdb2ba8">Re: cash bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: cash bar : This! I have NEVER been to a wedding that didnt have a cash bar! And I have never heard anyone think that is wrong. We are going to have free keg beer, and a cash bar if you choose to have other drinks. There is nothing wrong with that. People dont have to buy other drinks. I suppose it's different from where you live though.
    Posted by AbbynBrian13[/QUOTE]

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  • In the end, OP, it depends on your guests.  I am also sitting on the "never been to a wedding with an open bar" bench.  At a minimum, I feel like you should provide at least wine, beer and soda.  The rest of it, depends on the people that will be there.  Will they be offended to haev to pay for other things?  If so, then do a full open bar. 
  • Order of Ideal Bar situation: (IMHO)
    Full Open Bar
    Beer/Wine/ Signature drink
    Beer/Wine 
    Beer/Wine/Cash
    Full Cash Bar
    Dry

    I know that this list varies regionally, but I am from NEO and I have never seen a cash bar. I have been to several beer/wine only weddings that were simply wonderful. 



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  • I agree it's different from the area you live. I've been to weddings with open bar, no bar, and cash bar. Quite a substantial amount of people at the "dry" wedding were irritated that they didn't at least have the choice of a drink and wouldn't have minded paying for a drink or two. I believe you also need to know who is attending your wedding. Of course many see it as tacky, but I would rather have the option of a drink if they want, although it's normally not too much to have a spiked punch or signature drink etc. But having beer and wine I think is fine, and the option to buy liquor if you wanted definately would not offend me.
  • Before my wedding I never attended one with an open bar and only one where I knew certain drinks were hosted/cash bar for the rest (first and only over 21 wedding till I remarried). 

    The only time I was annoyed was when the only drinks offered for free was water, tea, and coffee.  That is too limiting in choice.  If you can afford to host anything, then please do so.  Your guests will appreciate it.  If cash bars are common where you live, then include that as well.  If they are not, then don't. 

    For the record, we did end up having an open bar.  Original plan was beer, wine, and soda, but we had more people RSVP no then expected so that ended up allowing us to add in an open bar. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:be503f33-debf-4994-a3d6-8b66a261c722Post:b3e004f7-9597-4737-b9f9-d49aad3b1117">Re: cash bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: cash bar : I think you need to work on your sarcasm.
    Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

    I'll work on my sarcasm, if you work on your reading comprehension.
    Wedding date July 7, 2012
  • FYI, every joke = / = sarcasm
    Wedding date July 7, 2012
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:be503f33-debf-4994-a3d6-8b66a261c722Post:f81f8e54-8ab2-4df1-b0c9-24f1bcdb2ba8">Re: cash bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: cash bar : This! I have NEVER been to a wedding that didnt have a cash bar! And<strong> I have never heard anyone think that is wrong</strong>. We are going to have free keg beer, and a cash bar if you choose to have other drinks. There is nothing wrong with that. People dont have to buy other drinks. I suppose it's different from where you live though.
    Posted by AbbynBrian13[/QUOTE]

    Agreed! I have been to 6 weddings in the past few years, and every one of them had a cash bar. The money spent on the actual weddings ranged from a budget outdoor wedding and cocktail reception to a lavish resort with a 5 course meal but they all had cash bars.

    In bold - same, and I would never complain about having to buy a drink or two.  
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:be503f33-debf-4994-a3d6-8b66a261c722Post:ac7868c7-665d-4404-9218-917364bbcb12">Re: cash bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]In my area, it would be unheard of to NOT have a cash bar. No one around here hosts a full bar. Beer and wine are the norm, and you can buy whatever else you choose. So, I'm way on the other side of everyone here, it is definitely not tacky to have a cash bar.<strong> I side eye people who pay for a full bar because it makes me think they spent too much money on their wedding. </strong>I'm sure you all will love my answer :) Let the mean comments begin...
    Posted by Sunshine811[/QUOTE]


    Wait, what?    You side-eye family or friends who give you free stuff at a party?  Really?  That's the craziest thing I've every heard. 


    It depends on your location but open bars do not have to be a budget buster.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I would at least host something. We are doing beer/wine/non-alc/signature drink. Since we are getting married at a golf course, they always have a bar as well. I'm not going to stop my guests from buying some hard liquor if they'd like to.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:be503f33-debf-4994-a3d6-8b66a261c722Post:a63b779c-cda7-4b6e-b111-12d900e67668">Re: cash bar</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you have a dry bar please let your guests know by word of mouth beforehand. I would be really upset if I didn't have my flask in my purse.
    Posted by Carla1019[/QUOTE]

    I've been to 1 dry wedding and it was for religious reasons. Given the couple's religion, I would have found it pretty offensive if someone had brought in a flask. It's like setting up your own pig roast at a Jewish wedding.
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