• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
New York-Long Island

Two cousin bridesmaids backed out bc of dress

Four months until my wedding and my two cousins are bailing on being my bridesmaids bc they do not like they dress! Just need to vent! they along with my aunt have bashed the dress I have choosen from top to bottom! Showed up at centereach bridal suite 2 times caused a scene according to the employees. Told me they love me so much they dont want the pictures that will last forever to look horrible, and they will if I pick the dress. So I finally show up and meet them at the store where they continue to try and get me to change the dress and make me feel like I picked the worst dress in the world! Meanwhile all 4 other girls ordered and they were holding the order bc of them and about to be charged a rush fee. Start complaing that I want everyone to get there hair and makeup done together the day of the wedding and end up telling me "no hard feelings" we dont want to be in wedding and leave! They have upset the whole family! I just cant believe this!! The dress is belsoie L3062... Any thoughts?

Re: Two cousin bridesmaids backed out bc of dress

  • It sounds like they were really uncomfortable in the dress that you chose.  I understand that you love it, but you have to keep in mind, they're the ones spending their own hard-earned money on it, and they're the ones that actually have to wear it, not you.  While I understand your frustration with them, it seems kind of silly to blow up your whole relationship over a dress.  It doesn't sound like there's anything you can do about it now, but it would've been kind of you to let them choose a different dress in the same length/color/fabric instead of trying to force them to wear something they're that unhappy with.

    Also, from an etiquette perspective, if you are requiring them to have their hair and makeup done a certain way, you should be paying for those services, not them, so that might be why they were upset about that part of your plans.

    It sucks that they can't just suck it up and wear what you want, and I'd be disappointed too in your position, but I can also kind of see where they might be coming from.
    image my to-read shelf:
    Steph's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (to-read shelf)
  • The dress i picked is a loose fitting one shoulder dress to flatter everyone. they were looking at tight fitting much more expensive gowns, these would not work for my other bridesmaids especially one that just had a child. They are 5 foot 10 and approx 120 pounds and look fabulous in everything! There mother was paying for the dress... And i said if they insisted they could do hair themselves i just wanted them there so we could all get ready together for the wedding!
  • edited February 2012
    My only point is, you asked them for more than they were willing to do.  So they're not doing it.   Yes, they're being stubborn, but so are you.  The result of all of this combined stubbornness is that they're not in your wedding.  Either their presence is more important than having your way, in which case you would've compromised with them, or what you want is more important than having them there, in which case they've taken themselves out of the wedding.  It does suck that those are your only choices, but those are your only choices.  You can't force other people to act a different way just because you want them to.
    image my to-read shelf:
    Steph's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (to-read shelf)
  • I think I compromised too much with them thats the problem everything they asked for so far in the wedding process was done to cater to them, and unfortunately there is no way to get six girls to all decide on the same dress. They even said themselves that they would never let anyone have any input on there bridesmaids dress, or wedding in general. I offered them to wear any other dress by the designer in the same color, they werent having that either. even the employees at the bridal store said I never heard a bride offer so many options for a bridal party, and they were appalled at how mean they were talking to me that they actually took me to the back of the store to say this is your wedding dont let them change everything you have done and worked so hard on. They told the woman working there for 25 years she doesnt know how to dress people. So at this point it is what it is, my girls that have stood by my side have said I am the most easy going bride they have ever been a bridesmaid for and I always take there concerns on cost and dress into consideration before making any decision.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards