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I am struggling with what kind of officiant to have for my wedding.  I am Jewish, and was raised that way although in a reform and reconstructionist temple.  I  had my Bat Mitzvah and that was the last time I was formally involved in religion.  I celebrate Hanukkah and Passover with my families and up until the last 2-3 years have attended Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur services.  My mothers side of the family is more religious and I don't have much involvement with my dads family.  I identify myself as being Jewish and never have or would consider converting but have definitely have not been an active participant in Judaism in a long time.  That being said my FI was raised Unitarian by his parents (his father was raised Jewish) and no longer identifies with any religion.  We celebrate Christmas and Hanukkah in our home and Easter with his family.  He attends all the religious functions/dinners with my family.

We had originally planned to have a non denominational ceremony with Jewish aspects (Ketubah (We picked this one with text Interfaith IV), Chuppah (we are building our own), breaking of the glass),  however as we get closer to the wedding and still haven't chosen an officiant, the more strongly I feel about having a Rabbi perform the ceremony and have at least a partially religious ceremony with the prayers that I learned as child being spoken, doing the blessings over the wine and bread, etc.  FI is open to the idea of an interfaith Rabbi (?) doing the ceremony but he doesn't want references to G-d and I know that would not be possible. 

I know that I could go back to the non denominational ceremony and just have the few pieces of Judaism but I just keep having the overwhelming feeling that I am going to regret it one day. 

ETA: The wedding is on a Sunday afternoon so there will not be any Sabbath conflicts.

Has anyone else gone through this?  Any suggestions?  Thanks!
We welcomed our girls on 11.7.12 @ 40w0d!
Emerson Lily 6 lbs 13 oz & Ellis Willow 6 lbs 9 oz

Re: Struggling...

  • RachiemooRachiemoo member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I haven't gone through this but I am guessing that a humanistic rabbi would be able to give you exactly what you are looking for (and maybe even reform or reconstructionist as well).
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  • LBRM_NJLBRM_NJ member
    Knottie Warrior 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I just looked at your wedding website - it's lovely!

    I just wanted to let you know that, while your wedding is on a Sunday, it's between Passover and Shavuot.  During those 7 weeks you are not supposed to get married, except for Lag B'Omer, which is May 22 next year.  I just point that out because you may have a tough time finding a rabbi who will marry you during that time.

    I may be wrong and a humanistic or reform rabbi might do it, but, I just wanted you to know that it might be an issue.
    The Knot lost my info, but, I've been married since 6/19/05!
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  • 2dBride2dBride member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    If you find the rabbi, you may want to look at our ceremony.  It has all the Hebrew prayers, but does not include any references in English to God.
  • JodiArielJodiAriel member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thank you for your help. I have reached out to a humanistic rabbi and am waiting for a response and have found both a reconstructionist and a reform synagogue that say they accept interfaith families.  FI even suggested we attend a couple services so he can see if he feels comfortable with it!
    We welcomed our girls on 11.7.12 @ 40w0d!
    Emerson Lily 6 lbs 13 oz & Ellis Willow 6 lbs 9 oz
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