Just Engaged and Proposals

Does anyone else feel this way?

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Re: Does anyone else feel this way?

  • We have the opposite problem - but it's also annoying!  We got engaged in December and are getting married in August.  We're totally happy with our plan, and our (relatively small) budget, but so many people comment on how we're in a rush!  It makes me a little crazy :)  I don't care if people have long engagements or short engagements, and I don't know why so many others seem to care!
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  • We had a 2 year long engagment so in 2008 I was having to tell everyone I was getting married in May of 2010. Don't worry about it. You need to do what's best for you and your fiance! I moved away to take a job and my fiance was still in school so while we were planning on getting married in a year, we had to make it 2. It's hard but you'll be fine!
  • Absolutely.

    FI and I got engaged on Feb. 16th, 2008. By the time we get married, we will have been engaged for about 2.5 years. Whenever people asked, I would just say "we have rough plans to get married in the winter of 2010" and be done with it.

    It doesn't matter at the end of the day if people take you seriously or not. What matters is that YOU are serious. Also, learn from a friend of mine who had a similar situation and don't let the next two years of your life revolve around your wedding.

    People will get sick of hearing about it. What FI and I did was wait until January of this year then set an actual booked, confirmed date. When you and your FI reach that point and you tell them that you have something booked, they will likely hop on board and then be more interested.
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    Not caring about missing RSVPs because there aren't any rocks!
  • Oh- I also want to say that what FI and I are doing is the exact opposite of the "norm" for his family.

    FI's older met a guy and got married before they even knew each other a year. FI's older brother did the same thing with a girl. Now, both marriages are perfectly happy and great, but for them to see us waiting so long really bothers them. My response? So what. They had the luxury of having somebody else pay for their weddings and we don't.

    You will get used to the questions. The questions won't be as bad and they will happen less and less frequently as time goes on.
    118 image
    Not caring about missing RSVPs because there aren't any rocks!
  • I don't really think it matters how long your engagement is, people just seem to love questioning everything!  It is soooo annoying. 

    We got engaged at Christmastime and are getting married in August of this year, which is about 8 months engagement.  You wouldn't believe the people who initially asked if we were getting married "so fast" because I found out I was PREGNANT!  Hello!?!?  First of all we'd been dating 2 years and talking about getting married for the last year of it, so this should have been no suprise to anyone.  Second, would you really plan your wedding for when you are 8 months pregnant?  Seriously...   

    People are just insane!  I think until some people actually get married, they will have no idea how inappropriate some of the things you said were. 

    Just let it roll off your shoulders, in the end, the other people don't matter, this is about you and your husband, do what you feel is right. 

    The only thing I can say about longer engagements is that I don't know how you guys do it!?!  The stress and BS associated with wedding planning is just too much for me, I can't wait for it to be OVER!   And just be married, and happily ever after :)
  • I'm acutally glad to hear that you are having this kind of respose because I am having a two and a half year engagment, and that is exactly the feeling that I got from a lot of people and it feels good to know that I'm not the only one.

    I really do want to be able to move my date and start planning and be all excited, but in order to be able to have the money we have to wait.  I am sure that it gets closer it will feel more real and people will take it more seriously.
  • Hi...

    I think people will always add their two sense whether you want it or not and sometime they aren't aware of their reactions.  We will be engaged for only 13 months by the time we get married and I still had people ask why we were waiting so long.  Others always think they know best, but you do what's right for you!!!!!
  • My FI and I have been engaged since March 17, 2008 and we aren't getting married until December 11, 2010. so in turn our engagement will be almost 3 years long, but it is so worth it becasue we will have no debt when all is said and done. Of course everyong was like why are you waiting so long and we just said that it was our business and we felkt we didn't have to give anyone an explanation. It's not their wedding so they really don't need to worry about it.
  • Just like everyone else here I have the same problem. I'm getting married next June and I'm sick of the comments people don't think about before they say and it seems like all of our friends are getting married before us. It's hard

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  • It's nice to know that I'm not the only one people say things to! We got engaged Nov. 21, 2009 and are getting married June 25,2011.  I wanted to get married in the summer (I'm a teacher and wouldn't need to take time off).  The venue that we LOVED was booked through Dec. 2010, so we decided to wait until next summer when it was available. It upsets me sometimes when people make comments.  A few of my friends got engaged around the same time and are getting married this summer and they couldn't get their first choice for venues and things like that because they were already booked.
  • Well we go the same thing. We got engaged in late December 2009 and the wedding is in August 2011 (our 5 year anniversary) We don't have any money so we are saving right now. So by Dec 2010 we would have some money to start renting and purchasing items for our home. We have no choice brcause there is no one to help us and we have to start some where. So I suggest that you should not worry about any one as they are not willing to help with financing alright.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_anyone-else-feel-this-way?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:72c3f306-60e1-4787-8ffd-899204e38f24Post:5f64ef40-b3da-427c-92b0-2fbd99c51a1f">Re: Does anyone else feel this way?</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's nice to know that I'm not the only one people say things to! We got engaged Nov. 21, 2009 and are getting married June 25,2011.
    Posted by akasper16[/QUOTE]

    wow, that's almost the same timing as us! we got engaged nov 20, 2009 and arent getting married until may 21, 2011!
    we are invited to <strong>6!!! </strong>weddings this summer...only may and june that is...and have reasons for not wanting any other months:
    my FI is an accountant, and the dreaded tax season is from jan-april. july and august are too hot for us, we sweat too much!! then comes hurricane season (we live at the beach..), then its just too cold in the winter! may is our perfect month and thats the reason i give people for why were waiting!

    it is an annoying question though..i think people just want to go to a good party half the time they ask.
    Mr. & Mrs. REB
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_anyone-else-feel-this-way?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:72c3f306-60e1-4787-8ffd-899204e38f24Post:5f64ef40-b3da-427c-92b0-2fbd99c51a1f">Re: Does anyone else feel this way?</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's nice to know that I'm not the only one people say things to! We got engaged Nov. 21, 2009 and are getting married June 25,2011.
    Posted by akasper16[/QUOTE]

    wow, that's almost the same timing as us! we got engaged nov 20, 2009 and arent getting married until may 21, 2011!
    we are invited to <strong>6!!! </strong>weddings this summer...only may and june that is...and have reasons for not wanting any other months:
    my FI is an accountant, and the dreaded tax season is from jan-april. july and august are too hot for us, we sweat too much!! then comes hurricane season (we live at the beach..), then its just too cold in the winter! may is our perfect month and thats the reason i give people for why were waiting!

    it is an annoying question though..i think people just want to go to a good party half the time they ask.
    Mr. & Mrs. REB
  • I think waiting was one of the best decisions I made.  FI and I have been engaged for 2 years and when we get married, we will have been together for over 8 years.  People were so shocked hearing that we were having such a long engagement, but honestly, it's really what worked out best for us.  We have a house, we both have our careers, and we're not going to be in debt when we get back from the HM.  No matter what everyone else says, you know that you are doing what's best for you guys.  Smart girl :) 
  • Good for you! That is a mature and responsible decision.
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  • I felt the same way! My fiance and I have been engaged for almost 2 1/2 years and I went through the same thing. I got sooooo tired of answering people's questions about why we were waiting so long! Luckily our wedding is just a month and a half away now so I won't have to deal with any more questions.
  • My FI and I have been engaged for over 2 years. I have set many of dates that have come and gone. My first date was last July, but I got pregnant and decided to change the date til September because I wanted time to lose the weight first. But then September came, and I had no wedding planned. Its AMAZING how times flies when you have children ( i have a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old). I actually really wasnt all that into planning a wedding with working full time and raising two babies. But, in January this year, my FI sat down and talked and decided that we were gonna commit to a date (Which is May 7, 2010). Well, we dont have a lot of money so I decided to have a CLOSE family only wedding in Gatlinburg, TN. Theres only gonna be around 25-30 people there, and Im actually really happy with my decision. I got a package deal and the place is gorgous, so Im saving a lot of money and still get something amazing. I felt pressured by family all the time to get married since we have two children together, and my answer to those questions was "When the time is right, we will do it". We love each other, and thats all that matters. Weve been together for 5 years almost, and as long as we have each other, there was really no reason to rush. Having a long engagement really is a great way to go into the marriage with no debt and start things off on a good financial foot!
  • But the time my FI and I get married we would have been engaged for over three year! We were both graduating from college but he was going for his Masters outside of our home state and I planned to move there too. We wanted both of us to be completely out of school, two years and then gave ourselves a year to move back and plan, totaling three years. I hear it a lot!!! I always respond with we both wanted to be out of school and plus we're are enjoying our time just being engaged and not having to worry about planning things right away. Plus it gives us time to save up for things we really want. 
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  • Uh yeah, I totally get that one.  We're waiting until 2012 also, and it's definitely tough, because there are so many things I want to start looking into and people I talk to about it are like "Why are you waiting so long?" or "Why are you starting so soon?  You have a long time to plan..."  It's very frustrating.  I feel better about it, though, because I have a friend who got engaged WAY early in her relationship and is pushing to get the wedding done, just as they hit their one-year anniversary.  I think quite a bit is being sacrificed by the rush, so take your time and enjoy it.  After all, people will say what they want, and at the end of the day, it's really about what you want.  Don't let people get you down.
  • Lol, think of the alternative. We were planning on getting married 2 months after we got engaged, until everyone started asking if I was pregnant and if that was why we were rushing!!
  • Just like PP, we got that a lot too. By the time we get married, we will have been engaged for a year and 9 months or so. A lot of people had/have puzzling looks when we tell them when we're getting married, but our families think it's a great idea (we're paying for the wedding ourselves) and we won't have any debt. Don't worry about those who don't get it... the important people will understand.
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