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Lauren Greer · July 2012

Delete

JessAndTrav · July 2012

Yes, it would be rude to say something about it. You get a wedding day, not a wedding week or wedding month.

You're planning a June wedding...the most popular month for weddings. Your weddings will be plenty different, you will have plenty of different guests and nobody that attends both is going to think, "THIS IS THE SAME WEDDING I WENT TO LAST WEEK."

baystateapple · July 2012

No. Say nothing. You get a day. Yes, it's frustrating, but there isn't anything you can do without looking like a jerk.

Also, just because they say that they've picked their day means nothing until they book the venue. They may find that what they want isn't available. H and I originally planned on getting married on October 9, 2010. We ended up with November 5th instead. Things happen. Try not to get upset about it.

Ali092011 · July 2012

I wouldn't say anything. They can get married when ever they want to; they can plan their wedding for the same day if they want to. Your weddings will be completely different no matter when they get married.

Just don't let it bother you.

libby2483 · July 2012

Honestly, I think you are overthinking things a bit. I could understand being upset if it was the same weekend, but I think a week apart is fine. Friends will make the effort to come to both, especially if it is local for them. Even if you have similar tastes, each one of you is unique and your weddings will be different. It sounds like your venues are quite different too, so I doubt anyone will be thinking, "Wow, this is a copy of the wedding I just went to." It could even be fun to bounce ideas off of one another or go to bridal shows together if you want.

Megbo2012 · July 2012

I think I would be most concerned about then being back from their honeymoon in time for your wedding (since he is your best man). Other than that, it's possible that they only wanted to get married in the summer (or June) and they didn't want to wait so that was the day that worked for them. Since it's at a family member's house it could change.

I don't think you should say anything except maybe to ask if he'll still be your best man. If you have the same style, you weddings could be similar regardless of how close in time they are, and I've found that each wedding is unique, as each couple is unique. I wouldn't worry about it.

athomfor · July 2012

It would absolutely be rude to say something. We are in a similar situation- a close friend of my fiance got engaged about 4 months after us and set his wedding date for two weeks before ours. We're sending our save the dates asap (they should be ere tomorrow) so hopfully people will budget for back to back weddings.

Be happy for your friend and let it go. I wouldn't worry about the decor- it already sounds like they will be very different events (an at home weddng vs at a hall).

baystateapple · July 2012

Really? Nobody's advice was rude.

I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but deleting your OP just makes you look like that much more of a brat.

Mrs.B6302007 · July 2012

[QUOTE]My fiance and I got engaged in October 2011. After a couple of months of planning and thinking about it, we set the date for June 2013 and booked our venue. About 3 weeks ago my fiance's best friend (who will be his best man in the wedding) proposed to his girlfriend and almost immediately they set their date for the Saturday before ours. <div>
</div><div>I'm really trying to not let it bother me, but for some reason it does. She and I have basically the same taste in everything, including wedding decorations, and we have the same group of friends. I'm really worried about our weddings being very similar, especially being a week apart and many of the same people attending. </div><div>
</div><div>I really do not know what to do about the situation. We've had our date set for almost 6 months and have already paid for a venue, and theirs has only been set for a week and they are having it at a family members house without any big commitment to the date. Would it be rude to say something about it? How do I handle this situation? Our fiance's are best friends, <strong>and we aren't really close, we just hang out when it's the 4 of us, so I wouldn't feel comfortable asking her about it. </strong></div><div>Please help!! [/QUOTE]

Yeah, definitely don't ask them to change the date.
</div>

Megbo2012 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiances-best-friend-set-the-date-a-week-before-ours?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:806101f7-3c12-4823-97c0-41ee880085d6Post:503e6aea-8005-461a-8208-3fea595f089e">Blank</a>:
[QUOTE] <span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span">My fiance and I got engaged in October 2011. After a couple of months of planning and thinking about it, we set the date for June 2013 and booked our venue. About 3 weeks ago my fiance's best friend (who will be his best man in the wedding) proposed to his girlfriend and almost immediately they set their date for the Saturday before ours. <div style="background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-style:initial;border-color:initial;font-size:12px;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;vertical-align:baseline;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">
</div><div style="background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-style:initial;border-color:initial;font-size:12px;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;vertical-align:baseline;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">I'm really trying to not let it bother me, but for some reason it does. She and I have basically the same taste in everything, including wedding decorations, and we have the same group of friends. I'm really worried about our weddings being very similar, especially being a week apart and many of the same people attending. </div><div style="background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-style:initial;border-color:initial;font-size:12px;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;vertical-align:baseline;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">
</div><div style="background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-style:initial;border-color:initial;font-size:12px;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;vertical-align:baseline;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">I really do not know what to do about the situation. We've had our date set for almost 6 months and have already paid for a venue, and theirs has only been set for a week and they are having it at a family members house without any big commitment to the date. Would it be rude to say something about it? How do I handle this situation? Our fiance's are best friends, and we aren't really close, we just hang out when it's the 4 of us, so I wouldn't feel comfortable asking her about it. </div><div style="background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-style:initial;border-color:initial;font-size:12px;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;vertical-align:baseline;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">Please help!!</div></span>Posted by Lauren Greer[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Quoted. But it's cool. Come on here asking for what is the right thing to do, you are going to get honest answers.

</div>

Lauren Greer · July 2012

Thank you all. I really appreciate your advice and I agree that I am probably overreacting about the whole situation. Every girl dreams about their wedding day and right now it's the most important day of my life and I am being obsessive about it.

I was trying to find a way to post this anonymously, but there isn't a way to do that, so I just deleted it. I'm sorry if I offended anyone by deleting my post, but it is my post and I do have the right to remove it.

Thank you all again. I really appreciate you taking the time to reply.

baystateapple · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiances-best-friend-set-the-date-a-week-before-ours?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:806101f7-3c12-4823-97c0-41ee880085d6Post:13107e96-6174-4d6e-8f43-a8e6101a630b">Re: Blank</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you all. I really appreciate your advice and I agree that I am probably overreacting about the whole situation. Every girl dreams about their wedding day and right now it's the most important day of my life and I am being obsessive about it. I was trying to find a way to post this anonymously, but there isn't a way to do that, so I just deleted it. I'm sorry if I offended anyone by deleting my post, but it is my post and I do have the right to remove it. Thank you all again. I really appreciate you taking the time to reply.
Posted by Lauren Greer[/QUOTE]
It's considered bad netiquette to delete your OP. Just an FYI if you're intending on staying on the boards.

MJandDL · July 2012

You can't ask her to change her date and since you've already paid for your venue it would be pretty stupid to move yours. I know it's kinda annoying, but a lot of thought goes in to picking a date and I doubt they did this to spite you or make sure they got married before you, etc. It's the date that worked for them and their family and their venue. If you're afraid of your weddings being too similar, just keep your plans on the DL. But honestly, no one will care as much as you do.

adamar15 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiances-best-friend-set-the-date-a-week-before-ours?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:806101f7-3c12-4823-97c0-41ee880085d6Post:13107e96-6174-4d6e-8f43-a8e6101a630b">Re: Blank</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you all. I really appreciate your advice and I agree that I am probably overreacting about the whole situation. Every girl dreams about their wedding day and right now it's the most important day of my life and I am being obsessive about it. I was trying to find a way to post this anonymously, but there isn't a way to do that, so I just deleted it. I'm sorry if I offended anyone by deleting my post, but it is my post and I do have the right to remove it. Thank you all again. I really appreciate you taking the time to reply.
Posted by Lauren Greer[/QUOTE]

<div>Actually, it belongs to the internet now. </div>

JessAndTrav · July 2012

Lauren, BTW, just to see if you were actually putting your real name out there, I searched you on FB and found you.

I support you deleting the account altogether.

Lauren Greer · July 2012

I realize that I overreacted about the whole situation about the wedding. Although I have been on theknot for a while, this was my first post. I did not know that I could not post anonymously, and once again I overreacted by deleting it. I would have never thought that I would receive any hateful or rude comments on a post. I apologize if I have offended anyone by trying to delete my post. To everyone who provided their advice, I really appreciate it and thank you. I realize that I have overreacted about it and that everything will e fine. Thank you all very much. I really do appreciate it.

ahhhitsshannyn · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiances-best-friend-set-the-date-a-week-before-ours?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:806101f7-3c12-4823-97c0-41ee880085d6Post:7cc6f527-6ac1-4bec-a3f0-9a7c341027fb">Re: Blank</a>:
[QUOTE]I realize that I overreacted about the whole situation about the wedding. Although I have been on theknot for a while, this was my first post. I did not know that I could not post anonymously, and once again I overreacted by deleting it.<strong> I would have never thought that I would receive any hateful or rude comments on a post.</strong> I apologize if I have offended anyone by trying to delete my post. To everyone who provided their advice, I really appreciate it and thank you. I realize that I have overreacted about it and that everything will e fine. Thank you all very much. I really do appreciate it.
Posted by Lauren Greer[/QUOTE]

Well, you were right about that, because no one was hateful or rude.

kgrawedding · July 2012

I have good friends who got engaged 3 months before me. They changed their date 3 times, and ended up with the week before me. In fact, we partially picked our date to avoid being too close to date #2. At first my FI was really irritated because we have a lot of mutual friends, but such is life. The weddings will be different enough (morning v evening, church hall v hotel) and we don't talk too much wedding stuff with each other. So far the worst thing is that they will not be back from their honeymoon for our wedding (which I totally understand and probably would do the same if the situation was reversed) but I would have asked her to be a reader.

JessAndTrav · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiances-best-friend-set-the-date-a-week-before-ours?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:806101f7-3c12-4823-97c0-41ee880085d6Post:1d173b8a-4eb4-4846-ace5-c1166dd7d3e2">Re: Blank</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Blank : Well, you were right about that, because no one was hateful or rude.
Posted by ahhhitsshannyn[/QUOTE]

This.

Snippylynn · July 2012

Guys, seriously, she apologized and has been super normal other than the delete. Chillax.

Good luck OP, and definitely start with a new account.

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