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October 2011 Weddings

Dinner Question (X post)

So we had it all budgeted out for a Sunday wedding, middle of the day, with a little bit of food (Cakes, crackers, cheeses and fruits) with drinks (water, coffee, tea, punch, soda, beer and wine).  FYI my parents are paying for a good portion of the wedding.

Over Thanksgiving my mother and Aunt bring up what are people going to do for dinner? My reply is they find their own food since it is after the reception. They ask what will they do for food. I tell them they can go out to eat someplace. This is not going over well. They think we should invite people someplace to eat and provide food. I mention this would be expensive and was not in our budget. Hence the kind of reception we are having. Still doesn't go over well. We are unable to get our venue for any longer then we already have it. So extending the time and serving dinner is not an option.

Is it wrong to casually invite people out to eat with us after the wedding if they wanted to? Meaning that we would pay for our food and them theirs.

Would it be better to try and find a restaurant (or someplace) that we can have an extreamly inexpensive "second" reception?

If we did one of these options how would I word the invitation? Would it be a separate invitation from the wedding invite?
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Re: Dinner Question (X post)

  • Totally fine, but only by word of mouth.  If you state on an invite anything about having a casual dinner...you'll need to host it.  Just spread at the reception that you all are going to XYZ restaurant to have a dinner afterwards. 
  • My cousin did something similar and word of mouth worked great. At dinner I don't think anyone expected the parents or whoever to pick up the bill, it was super casual and a lot of fun to spend all that time with the newlyweds!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2011-weddings_dinner-question-x-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:650Discussion:dfe193b2-aa61-4150-a1a5-e76615839226Post:7cf5a225-997d-4c09-8a5d-679f681886ac">Re: Dinner Question (X post)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Word of mouth sounds like a good idea. We will have to eat dinner someplace after all is said and done. Not sure if that is proper etiquette but it may solve the problem at hand. We never planned on a meal so I don't know why they are throwing a wrench into the works. I love them though. I asked this on the etiquette board and they seem to be having problems answering my questions. it is both frustrating and amusing. One is baffled that our cocktail hour is 4 hours long. I don't think it will last 4 hours but ya never know. We have the time if we need it.
    Posted by erollis[/QUOTE]

    You have this high of a post count and you don't know enough not to expect to get validation on E?  We answered your question with several options that aren't rude, you just clearly didn't like any of them because they weren't validating your idea.
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  • erolliserollis member
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    edited November 2010
    I did get my validation after quite some time went by. It seemed to me like my questions were not getting answered fully.That is why I posted That the ladies are E are confused. You must look at the time when things are posted also. I did not go running to my month board after I posted on E. I posted on E then went straight away to Oct.2011 to post. I then went back to E to see if anyone had responded.

    1) It is rude like I thought to do formal invitations
    2) Word of mouth is not bad
    3) Inviting OOT guests to the rehearsal dinner is a possibility if we so choose

    This is an Xpost

    EDIT: When were the E ladies rude? Did I say they were? Please point it out for me.

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  • what about hefty hors 'd oeuvres during the cocktail hour. then you and fi go have dinner on your own.
  • Wow some people take the knot seriously.

    Anyways

    Unless youre reception is 5-10 or something that goes right through dinner time, I don't think serving a meal is necesary.

    If you would want to have dinner somewhere after and invite people via word of mouth, that sounds fine to me. I know plenty of people who have "after parties." This doesn't seem much different than that.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2011-weddings_dinner-question-x-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:650Discussion:dfe193b2-aa61-4150-a1a5-e76615839226Post:567f1367-7fa4-4556-b7d6-ae38d17faeff">Re: Dinner Question (X post)</a>:
    [QUOTE]When were the E ladies rude? Did I say they were? Please point it out for me.
    Posted by erollis[/QUOTE]

    I didn't mean that the E ladies were rude.  I meant we gave several alternatives that aren't rude to your guests.
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  • Seriously?  Seriously.  No drama from E to here pleeeeeeaaase.  And I don't understand why "validation" has to come into play with EVERYTHING.  What happened to: question asked, answer/opinion given. 

    Not everyone looks for validation.  I haven't read the thread though e, hopefully you got some insight. 

    Oh and your ceremony starting at 1 means you're cocktail hour might be 3ish hours long...which it's not really a "cocktail hour" per say.  Because you'll have desserts and munchies....I say more of a cake/punch type of reception which is perfectly fine.

    It's all good and your wedding will be awesomeness.  One question: are you having hors d'ouevres or no?   
  • Wow...Not liking the drama creeping onto our board!

    I think word of mouth is fine. I actually think everyone going to a restaurant together sounds fun. It could be a really nice relaxing time for everyone to just catch up. Do keep in mind though, if you end up doing this maybe call the restaurant the day before and try to set up for the possibilty of a big reservation.
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  • Good idea Mir.  In case there is quite a few people, it definitely wouldn't hurt.
  • Ok. Sorry I bailed. I had to go help a friend with a photo-shoot.

    I will pass what all you ladies said along to my fiance, mom, dad and his parents to see what their take is. Thank you for the responses.
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