Snarky Brides

Obese child put into foster care LIP

http://www.embracethechaos.ca/2011/12/obese-third-grader-taken-from-parents-because-of-weight.html

CN: A 200 lb 3rd grader was taken from his parents and placed in foster care.

What do you think about this?
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Re: Obese child put into foster care LIP

  • I think it's hard to pass judgment on this case without knowing the details.  The social worker says they've been working on this case for over a year.  That right there tells me there might be more going on than is in the article. 

    In any case, I'm always for keeping families together unless that's going to be more harmful to the child.  Without knowing what other outside interventions and education there's been, I'm not comfortable really commenting.  But I do think the situation would have to have been pretty bad for them to take the child--there are plenty of obese children in this world that are still with their parents.

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  • I do think it is up to the parents to help their children maintain a heathly lifestyle, but in the article it says that the caseworker has been involved with the family for over a year... so to me it seems like the mother WANTED to fix the problem.

    I guess I don't understand how it got so severe all of a sudden to take the child away? Was the caseworker not paying attention for the past 12 months and had an 'oh shiit' moment??
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_obese-child-put-foster-care-lip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d631389d-26c5-4a33-b88f-172fe7f89ee0Post:6de81452-7ea6-4fbd-b381-e1a8a5471939">Re: Obese child put into foster care LIP</a>:
    [QUOTE]I do think it is up to the parents to help their children maintain a heathly lifestyle, but in the article it says that the caseworker has been involved with the family for over a year... so to me it seems like the mother WANTED to fix the problem. I guess I don't understand how it got so severe all of a sudden to take the child away? Was the caseworker not paying attention for the past 12 months and had an 'oh shiit' moment??
    Posted by vk2204[/QUOTE]

    A lot of times parents don't have  CHOICE about a SW being involved.  I think the fact that they've been working for over a year and the child hasn't lost weight actually says the opposite--that parents are missing something somewhere.

    And I completely doubt it was an all of a sudden thing.  Just because they've bene working for a year doesn't mean that something suddenly happened.  It means they've been trying to avoid this but since nothing is changing (or maybe something changed for the worse) it was time.

    Again, not saying I support it, but I think there's another way to look at it than just the way you did.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_obese-child-put-foster-care-lip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d631389d-26c5-4a33-b88f-172fe7f89ee0Post:6de81452-7ea6-4fbd-b381-e1a8a5471939">Re: Obese child put into foster care LIP</a>:
    [QUOTE]I do think it is up to the parents to help their children maintain a heathly lifestyle, but in the article it says that the caseworker has been involved with the family for over a year... so to me it seems like the mother WANTED to fix the problem. I guess I don't understand how it got so severe all of a sudden to take the child away? Was the caseworker not paying attention for the past 12 months and had an 'oh shiit' moment??
    Posted by vk2204[/QUOTE]

    Not necessarily. This was on our news a couple days ago, and I also heard about how they had been working with the family for a year. But just because they're working on it, doesn't necessarily mean that the mother wants it to get better. Maybe they were trying to work with her, and she wasn't holding up her end of the deal? (Not a fact, just the other side of the coin)

    This is a tough one, though. Because you know that a child can get taken away from the parents if they are undernourished, so does the same rule apply when they are overnourished?  I mean, either way you're putting the child's health at risk, so should it be tit for tat? 
  • I saw it on the news on Monday, except they were reporting that he was 250lbs (10lbs heavier than my husband, and twice my own weight). While I think it's appalling that the mother has done nothing by way of prevention/remedying her child's condition, I think removing him from his home might do more damage to the child than had he stayed.
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  • IMO, CPS probably did the right thing under the circumstances. The woman was basically slowly killing her child. You can't starve or beat your kid to death, so why should you be allowed to feed him to death? Not cool.
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  • It's hard to tell from the article what both sides were since it doesn't give a lot of details. I've heard of children being taken away from their parents for a multitude of reasons, but I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've heard of it due to an obesity issue.

    It seems kind of sad to me since it sounds like the mother wanted to help the child. I guess what I don't get is how the child could get to 200 lbs in the first place. For a 3rd grader (or 7 year old) that is REALLY big. I'm curious what steps the mother was taking to help her son.
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  • I agree with you, but without knowing everything, I took it as they thought the mother failed on her part and nothing she did was good enough so they are taking her child away.

    I guess I was trying to say was the mother at least warned that she needs to step it up or that would happen? Or did she think that they were making some sort of problem and then she got ambushed?

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_obese-child-put-foster-care-lip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d631389d-26c5-4a33-b88f-172fe7f89ee0Post:b1a738fa-c55f-4bc2-8287-e60190e46a30">Re: Obese child put into foster care LIP</a>:
    [QUOTE]IMO, CPS probably did the right thing under the circumstances. The woman was basically slowly killing her child. You can't starve or beat your kid to death, so why should you be allowed to feed him to death? Not cool.
    Posted by kroot87[/QUOTE]

    Good point. It is a logical argument.... if the child's health is in danger, then the child should be removed, no? It looks like the social worker gave the family a year to adjust the situation and they didn't comply. If obesity is a disease and the parents aren't helping him with it, then he should be removed and taken somewhere he can get help.. Hypothetically, speaking, of course, because I feel like I need more details to pass judgment.
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  • It's hard to know without being on the inside of that situation.  For a child to get THAT morbidly obese, there is no way the parents are feeding him healthy foods, or even healthy amounts of food.  It's not like CPS came in and said "hey your kid is too fat, we're taking him".  They gave the mom a year and I would bet money they gave her the resources she needs to help him lose weight in a healthy way.  If he didn't lose any weight in a year, or even gained it, she is not regulating his food intake enough, which is dangerous to his health.  I know there's only so much she can do while he's at school and whatnot, but FFS go on walks with the kid.  Prepare healthy dinners.  Regularly search his room to make sure he's not hoarding sweets.  If your child has unhealthy habits, it is your job, as a parent, to do whatever it takes to help them overcome those healthy habits.
  • The news said that he's at risk for a heart attack or stroke. At 7 years old. To me, that's one of the most shocking parts. Can you imagine if he had died (God forbid) how awful the mother would feel for letting that happen? I think that's probably the sort of mentality that the case/social workers had when they removed him from the home.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_obese-child-put-foster-care-lip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d631389d-26c5-4a33-b88f-172fe7f89ee0Post:3320da73-871c-4beb-89a3-e8c2a334f752">Re: Obese child put into foster care LIP</a>:
    [QUOTE]The news said that he's at risk for a heart attack or stroke. At 7 years old. To me, that's one of the most shocking parts. Can you imagine if he had died (God forbid) how awful the mother would feel for letting that happen? I think that's probably the sort of mentality that the case/social workers had when they removed him from the home.
    Posted by mehgank[/QUOTE]

    It's troubling to me that young children are suffering from diseases and risk factors normally associated with old age.
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  • I think they made the right call.  It's not like CPS said "hey, your kid's fat, so we're taking them away from you."  The child was morbidly obese - their life is in danger in that home, and I agree with J&K - if the parents were truly trying to help their child, the child would have lost weight over a year.

    It's tough and sad, and the poor kid's probably going to need some therapy to help deal with being separated from their family, but I'm optimistic it'll work out in the end.
  • Very hard to comment without knowing all the details of the situation. If a social worker was working with the family for a year, I hope the main focus was on education. Education of proper food/nutrients/portion control and proper excercise. The education also must be tailored to fit their situation. Are those healthy food options available to the family? At what cost? ect. I think it's very easy for some people (who are already educated in proper nutrition/excercise) to judge others who may not be simiply because it may be second nature.

    It's a vicious cycle. The mother of the child may have grown up eating the same foods that she was feeding her son.

    I'd hope that taking the child away from his home was a very last resort after other avenues have been exhausted.
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  • I was going to post about this today.

    My nephew is really heavy. He's 11, and he probably weighs at least 180. His dad works nights, and MIL lives with them to watch the kid. He eats all sorts of junk food, all the time. He drinks multiple two liters of soda each day and refuses to exercise or even play outside. I genuinely worry he's going to have serious health problems.

    Based on the information given, I think CPS did the right thing removing him. His mother had over a year to change things for the better, and still couldn't do it. Third graders don't buy their own groceries, so I can only assume she bought him crap. 
  • I work in pediatrics and specifically on a high blood pressure study. While several of the kids have BP issues for other reasons (genetics or other underlying disease) the majority of them have obesity related hypertension. Depending on their family history, some of them have a high risk of heart attack even at a young age. It also greatly increases their risk of heart attack in middle age.

    One of the things we do for the study is a diet history. We're just using it to determine intake of certain nutrients but it is really interesting to see the huge gap between the parents who are really trying to help their children by avoiding salt and cooking healthy food and those who live on fast food and deep fried everything. I get that a lot of the social issues that lead to a poor diet. But if you're told your kid could die from their eating habits it's really time to make a change. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_obese-child-put-foster-care-lip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d631389d-26c5-4a33-b88f-172fe7f89ee0Post:08ac7ed3-3ba1-4370-8ada-5a5b08d33921">Re: Obese child put into foster care LIP</a>:
    [QUOTE]I work in pediatrics and specifically on a high blood pressure study. While several of the kids have BP issues for other reasons (genetics or other underlying disease) the majority of them have obesity related hypertension. Depending on their family history, some of them have a high risk of heart attack even at a young age. It also greatly increases their risk of heart attack in middle age. One of the things we do for the study is a diet history. We're just using it to determine intake of certain nutrients but it is really interesting to see the huge gap between the parents who are really trying to help their children by avoiding salt and cooking healthy food and those who live on fast food and deep fried everything. I get that a lot of the social issues that lead to a poor diet. <strong>But if you're told your kid could die from their eating habits it's really time to make a change. 
    </strong>Posted by celticmyss[/QUOTE]

    Exactly.

    And as a side note, I've never understood legislation that pushes for (to paraphrase) McDonald's to stop gearing their advertising toward kids, or to stop offering a toy in the happy meal, etc.  Last I checked, a 3rd grader could beg, cry, and throw a temper tantrum of epic proportions, but they can not drive themselves to McD's and purchase lunch.  That's all on the parents.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_obese-child-put-foster-care-lip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d631389d-26c5-4a33-b88f-172fe7f89ee0Post:1b7bbedc-e4d9-4cdc-9d5b-8c9058e5b972">Re: Obese child put into foster care LIP</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Obese child put into foster care LIP : Exactly. And as a side note, I've never understood legislation that pushes for (to paraphrase) McDonald's to stop gearing their advertising toward kids, or to stop offering a toy in the happy meal, etc.  <strong>Last I checked, a 3rd grader could beg, cry, and throw a temper tantrum of epic proportions, but they can not drive themselves to McD's and purchase lunch.  That's all on the parents.
    </strong>Posted by jennylove810[/QUOTE]

    Exactly. I could probably count the number of times we had McDonalds growing up on both hands. My mom was super anti-processed foods so we did not have white bread, fruit roll-ups or any of that stuff in the house.
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  • I agree, jenny. Ultimately, it's the parents' responsibility since they're the ones buying the junk food for their kids. For example, when H was a kid, he'd never had Kraft Mac N Cheese (blue box) because his mom always made it from scratch. He used to beg her to make the kind out of the blue box, but she never would. He didn't taste it until he tried it at a friend's house, and wound up not liking it anyway.

    And if I remember correctly, when I was a kid and begged my mom for McD's, it was because I was hungry for some damn nuggets. Their toys always sucked, and half the time, I got a toy for a boy anyway.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_obese-child-put-foster-care-lip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d631389d-26c5-4a33-b88f-172fe7f89ee0Post:cd26ed3c-305b-4aea-bddd-1512d5fc890a">Re: Obese child put into foster care LIP</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Obese child put into foster care LIP : Exactly. I could probably count the number of times we had McDonalds growing up on both hands. My mom was super anti-processed foods so we did not have white bread, fruit roll-ups or any of that stuff in the house.
    Posted by achiduck[/QUOTE]

    We didn't have McDonald's much growing up, but we did have plenty of other junk. Bologna and cheese sandwiches on white bread were my absolute favorite thing in the world growing up. We ate candy and had soda.. but they were treats, which we had once in a while, and they were portion controlled. And neither my brother nor I ever had a weight problem. We also spent our childhood outdoors and never had video games, TVs in our rooms, or cellphones. I think inactivity plays a huge role in childhood obesity. Kids need to be active, and they need to be outside. It seems to me like a lot of parents these days are abandoning parenting in favor of sticking kids in front of the TV with a box of chicken nuggets.

    It's sad, really.
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  • Am I the only one curious as to what the mother weighs?
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  • No, but I just assumed she is obese as well. 
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  • This is a no-brainer. If the parents are killing the child and refuse to stop, remove the child.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_obese-child-put-foster-care-lip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d631389d-26c5-4a33-b88f-172fe7f89ee0Post:43524573-0218-4d1f-9b23-cb3003a80e53">Re: Obese child put into foster care LIP</a>:
    [QUOTE]Am I the only one curious as to what the mother weighs?
    Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

    Nope... I'd like to know as well.
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  • I was also wondering that, Blue.

    Working in a related field but not being a social worker, I can tell you it is NOT easy to get permission to remove a child from his or her home. It's expensive, and there's so much red tape that they can only do it really extreme circumstances. If they has a SW working with the family for a year and there wasn't progress, I can only speculate that the mother was unable to execute the changes necessary to save her child's life. If that's indeed the case, then I support what they did.
  • I would think, at this point, there is likely considerable medical evidence to support the withdrawal. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_obese-child-put-foster-care-lip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d631389d-26c5-4a33-b88f-172fe7f89ee0Post:00c493a6-28d0-48fd-a205-eef9d6ffa250">Re: Obese child put into foster care LIP</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would think, at this point, there is likely considerable medical evidence to support the withdrawal. 
    Posted by number55[/QUOTE]

    Agreed.  Its not like they can just walk in, say "Your kid is fat", and take him.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_obese-child-put-foster-care-lip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d631389d-26c5-4a33-b88f-172fe7f89ee0Post:2fd7ae71-a140-40ff-b2ed-0be8a0b07cc4">Re: Obese child put into foster care LIP</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Obese child put into foster care LIP : Agreed.  Its not like they can just walk in, say "Your kid is fat", and take him.
    Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

    <div>yeah, exactly. At 200 pounds?  I mean, 200 pounds for me is obese and I am 5'7. When I was close to that weight I was already close to type two diabetes (I was beginning to show signs of insulin resistance), I had the cholesterol of a 70 year old man (my father, a doctor, refered to my blood as sludge) and I had significant knee and back issues. So you have to figure that for a kid the medical issues would be way more serious.</div>
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