Why are they still here?

1BabyFritsch · February 2012

I am curious if I am the only one one who realizes that there are people trolling these boards who have been married for years? I am not talking MOB or MOH in another wedding just women who obviously have enough time to be lurking around on a website for people who are activly planning,or attending a wedding?

ElleB87 · February 2012

People stay on these boards long after their weddings because they enjoy chatting with the other girls and offering advice as someone who has "been there".

JadziaDax · February 2012

Many people have formed friendships on this site. I wouldn't refer to people who frequent a site as "trolling". After having a 2+ year engagement, i'm sure I will be back on the site as well.

NcsuPsych · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_why-are-they-still-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:29765d28-b93f-406d-a34a-2eb5cb052d46Post:ae95d1bf-168b-495f-abe7-691750a55c37">Why are they still here?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am curious if I am the only one one who realizes that there are people trolling these boards who have been married for years? I am not talking MOB or MOH in another wedding just women who obviously have enough time to be lurking around on a website for people who are activly planning,or attending a wedding?
Posted by 1BabyFritsch[/QUOTE]

Do you have a problem with it or something?

As pp said, perhaps its because those who are married enjoy the nature of these boards, or have made friends through the boards. Perhaps its because those who are now married are sometimes more knowledgeable when giving wedding advice to those that are currently planning. Example, if you were about to have a baby, would you rather ask for advice from someone who has never had a baby, or someone who has been there done that?

What's wrong with married people posting here?

NcsuPsych · February 2012

Oh, and as a 'troll' as you so nicely put it, I would like to tell you that your siggy is all F'd up btw.

redheadfsu · February 2012

Don't you want advice from people that have been through it? Many posters actually want advice from the married ladies. What we would have done different, how we did it, or other information only those that have planned a wedding can give.

Or would you rather the blind lead the blind?

But yeah, I have stayed because I like these boards, the posters, and well the entertainment.

ETA: I was engaged for four years...so I have been here for awhile. It would be sad to be forced to the nest- those people are crazy.

jennipea382 · February 2012

I don't think you understand what "trolling" means. Trolling is purposely causing drama and arguments. An example on these boards is when someone posts on the Etiquette board about how they want to kick people out of the wedding party, throw themselves a shower, and charge guests to get into their wedding. It's stuff that's obviously not ok and the person is just posting it to stir up drama and anger.

I wouldn't call people who hang around here after their weddings "trolls". Sometimes they want to talk to the friends they've made here, and sometimes they want to help others planning their weddings. I personally value advice from people who have gone through it all already.

ETA: Or maybe you understand EXACTLY what trolling is and that's what you're doing. Touché.

sonya+adam · February 2012

I agree, as a new bride to be, I'm so glad that there are ladies who have already had their wedding still posting on these boards. They are the ones who give the best advice.

Why do you seem so against it?

sparkles776 · February 2012

I also agree that I am happy that the married ladies do stick around, they do give excellent advice.

sonya+adam · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_why-are-they-still-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:29765d28-b93f-406d-a34a-2eb5cb052d46Post:3fadefa3-84f3-4717-aed8-76ffb6bbee25">Re: Why are they still here?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why are they still here? : Someone who gets it!
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

Haha, thanks!

1BabyFritsch · February 2012

I guess I understand being on here for 6 months to a year, but I see people who have been married 5-6 years ago. It is kinda deceiving coming here thinking you are talking to people who are currently in the same situation as you and then finding out they were married years ago. I mean a lot of things change in 5 years. I would almost prefer to get advice from someone else planning and there experience or someone newly married then someone who married 5+ years ago and has had no recent wedding experience to speak of.

And I know my sig is messed up I just dont care enough to try to fix it since it worked up untill a week ago.

chelseamb11 · February 2012

Way to insult every friendship a person has ever made on here.

jennipea382 · February 2012

Most people here ARE planning weddings. It's not like all the other posters are married and you're the only one planning. And it's not like the married ladies all haven't been to a wedding since their own. Some of the people around here love weddings and helping people plan, so I'm pretty sure they're up on a lot of trends and such.

If you don't like what they post, just ignore it. That's what I do with people I don't agree with.

sonya+adam · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_why-are-they-still-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:29765d28-b93f-406d-a34a-2eb5cb052d46Post:11e0ac38-c47a-4b5d-9680-60fb29d01e9d">Re: Why are they still here?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I guess I understand being on here for 6 months to a year, but I see people who have been married 5-6 years ago</strong>. It is kinda deceiving coming here thinking you are talking to people who are currently in the same situation as you and then finding out they were married years ago.<strong> I mean a lot of things change in 5 years. I would almost prefer to get advice from someone else planning and there experience or someone newly married then someone who married 5+ years ago and has had no recent wedding experience to speak of. </strong>And I know my sig is messed up I just dont care enough to try to fix it since it worked up untill a week ago.
Posted by 1BabyFritsch[/QUOTE]

The great thing about that is you get the best of both worlds. There are a bunch of girls who are currently engaged, and who can relate to what you are currently going through. You also have ladies who have experienced it before and can give you first-hand advice.

There aren't that many things that change in 5 years when it comes to weddings. Etiquette stays the same. Basically the only thing that changes is that certain styles may become outdated, but is that really such a big deal?

cwaggoner07 · February 2012

Maybe you should just go hang out on your month board. That way they will be in EXACTLY the same stage as you.

1BabyFritsch · February 2012

Honestly I do ignore 50% of responses i get on here but I just though it was weird that when I started to actually look at when people dates were that some people were married in 2005-2009. I just didnt know if I was the only one who though this seemed weird that they wouldnt have moved on to The nest or The bump or some other site. I get people make friends on here but isnt that what facebook or google+ is for?

redheadfsu · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_why-are-they-still-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:29765d28-b93f-406d-a34a-2eb5cb052d46Post:11e0ac38-c47a-4b5d-9680-60fb29d01e9d">Re: Why are they still here?</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I understand being on here for 6 months to a year, but I see people who have been married 5-6 years ago. It is kinda deceiving coming here thinking you are talking to people who are currently in the same situation as you and then finding out they were married years ago. I mean a lot of things change in 5 years. I would almost prefer to get advice from someone else planning and there experience or someone newly married then someone who married 5+ years ago and has had no recent wedding experience to speak of. And I know my sig is messed up I just dont care enough to try to fix it since it worked up untill a week ago.
Posted by 1BabyFritsch[/QUOTE]

Well, many of the woman that have stayed for 5-6 years have deep friendships on here. People have get togethers in real life (not just the married ladies).

Why are you demeaning people? Just because they got married 5-6 years ago doesn't mean they are not mothers, sisters, friends of those planning weddings.

Don't you have any online forums that you hang out? You get used to the forums and make friends and hang out. Like any other forum, you go for advice or fun and then start to hang out and become a regular. That is normal internet behavior. So I'm assuming you don't frequent forums. Don't judge what you are not familiar with.

1BabyFritsch · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_why-are-they-still-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:29765d28-b93f-406d-a34a-2eb5cb052d46Post:eac3401e-ed19-48a6-a07d-96c0bb30c90f">Re: Why are they still here?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why are they still here? : Well, many of the woman that have stayed for 5-6 years have deep friendships on here. People have get togethers in real life (not just the married ladies). Why are you demeaning people? Just because they got married 5-6 years ago doesn't mean they are not mothers, sisters, friends of those planning weddings. <strong>Don't you have any online forums that you hang out?</strong> You get used to the forums and make friends and hang out. Like any other forum, you go for advice or fun and then start to hang out and become a regular. That is normal internet behavior. So I'm assuming you don't frequent forums. Don't judge what you are not familiar with.
Posted by redheadfsu[/QUOTE]

Umm no I dont just hang out online. I have 2 jobs, a son and disabled FI the last thing I have time for is hanging out online all day/night for hours. I get online, post or read a few and get off and get back to real life.

Telling me that Hanging out online and making friends is "normal" seem strange. Dont most people make friends with people they actually can see and spend time with?

jennipea382 · February 2012

Yes, of course people make friends with people they can spend time with. But it's not always that simple. I have some friends I've made online (not here, but similar situation). I consider them pretty good friends. Maybe not super close friends like the ones I met in other ways, but friends either way. Meeting friends online is a great way to find people you have something in common with. When you meet someone in person, it's harder to know for sure if you have common interests or not.

I guess I'm confused why making friends online is that strange in this day and age. Personally it's hard for me to physically meet up with my friends very often because a lot of them live far away and we're all pretty busy. So I tend to talk to them online too. There isn't a huge difference, just how we met.

redheadfsu · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_why-are-they-still-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:29765d28-b93f-406d-a34a-2eb5cb052d46Post:10f5752e-c5a1-4d46-9844-1aa7e5f5c3b6">Re: Why are they still here?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why are they still here? : Umm no I dont just hang out online. I have 2 jobs, a son and disabled FI the last thing I have time for is hanging out online all day/night for hours. I get online, post or read a few and get off and get back to real life. Telling me that Hanging out online and making friends is "normal" seem strange. Dont most people make friends with people they actually can see and spend time with?
Posted by 1BabyFritsch[/QUOTE]

FFS.

The internet is not for you.

Just because YOU don't hang out online, doesn't mean that normal people don't. I have an 8-5 job with down time in front of a computer - so I can play/hang. Most of the people here have jobs were they have down time and get bored. I'm sorry you don't.

Tonight I'm on online because my husband is busy (We are doing V D tomorrow).

1BabyFritsch · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_why-are-they-still-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:29765d28-b93f-406d-a34a-2eb5cb052d46Post:e4ece338-77a3-4aef-aa09-c0f245bc1791">Re: Why are they still here?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why are they still here? : And yet you're here. Hanging out on the Chit Chat board. Where pretty much anything NWR gets discussed.
Posted by LucyHC[/QUOTE]

I am here because I have a rare hour or so to be posting and I am planning a wedding I like to see what this site offers. I thought a chit chat board on a WEDDING site would be for chit chat about wedding things that wouldnt have a specific board. Silly me for thinking people on a WEDDING website would be talking about wedding related things.

redheadfsu · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_why-are-they-still-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:29765d28-b93f-406d-a34a-2eb5cb052d46Post:25e93e1b-2fff-441c-a496-9602dee3662e">Re: Why are they still here?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why are they still here? : I am here because I have a rare hour or so to be posting and I am planning a wedding I like to see what this site offers. I thought a chit chat board on a WEDDING site would be for chit chat about wedding things that wouldnt have a specific board. Silly me for thinking people on a WEDDING website would be talking about wedding related things.
Posted by 1BabyFritsch[/QUOTE]

FFS read the description of this board.

cwaggoner07 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_why-are-they-still-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:29765d28-b93f-406d-a34a-2eb5cb052d46Post:d829c15b-26df-4ce5-8f52-c7704a4ea553">Re: Why are they still here?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why are they still here? : You obviously did not take 15 seconds to read the heading of this board, then. Talking about wedding stuff all the time is boring. Most of the boards with heavier traffic have a ton of non-wedding related threads. I suppose you haven't noticed that, even though<strong> you took the time to look up posters' wedding dates. </strong>
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]

Good point. I love being on the Knot and I really haven't done this at all... maybe once or twice. I just don't really think about it.

NcsuPsych · February 2012

OP, I've got to ask, are you confusing the 'Joined date' with 'Wedding date'? Because if you're really looked at their wedding date, you're obviously spending a lot more time on here than you're admitting.

And again I'll ask, why do you care that people who are married are here? Do you have something against it? Are you the new CC patrol, making sure it's only newbies and newlyweds here? If so, I'm gonna need to see some kind of proof, like a badge or something.

Otherwise, your thoughts on why people should or shouldn't be here are completely pointless and honestly very rude and condescending.

Simply Fated · February 2012

I was a MOH about 3 years ago. I'm still here. jus sayin

brandichamberlain · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_why-are-they-still-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:29765d28-b93f-406d-a34a-2eb5cb052d46Post:25e93e1b-2fff-441c-a496-9602dee3662e">Re: Why are they still here?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why are they still here? : I am here because I have a rare hour or so to be posting and I am planning a wedding I like to see what this site offers. <strong><u>I thought a chit chat board on a WEDDING site would be for chit chat about wedding things that wouldnt have a specific board. Silly me for thinking people on a WEDDING website would be talking about wedding related things.</u></strong>
Posted by 1BabyFritsch[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>1) At the top of the page it says what is talked about on the board.</div><div>2) If it weren't for the married women on this site, I would be lost in some of my planning.</div><div>3) It is clear you are alone in this, so I'm not sure why you're arguing.</div>

chelseamb11 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_why-are-they-still-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:29765d28-b93f-406d-a34a-2eb5cb052d46Post:3c23f77e-123b-4856-a5ef-3d057e6f31dd">Re: Why are they still here?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why are they still here? : I'm sorry, Simply Fated. You clearly have no business being here. Unless you can come up with evidence that you are within reasonable proximity of wedding activities IRL, you must be banned.
Posted by LucyHC[/QUOTE]

CQTM

OP seriously, go somewhere else if you're so flabberghasted that people actually make meaningful friendships on here.

classykat22 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_why-are-they-still-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:29765d28-b93f-406d-a34a-2eb5cb052d46Post:f9be0491-646f-4c40-8c2b-f2009ede00ad">Re: Why are they still here?</a>:
[QUOTE]Honestly I do ignore 50% of responses i get on here but I just though it was weird that when I started to actually look at when people dates were that some people were married in 2005-2009. I just didnt know if I was the only one who though this seemed weird that they wouldnt have moved on to The nest or The bump or some other site. I get people make friends on here but isnt that what <strong>facebook or google+</strong> is for?
Posted by 1BabyFritsch[/QUOTE]
Well if it's ok to sit on FB or Google+ to chat with friends and be social, why would it be any different doing that here? I guess i don't understand what makes this social site any different except some of us are planning our weddings, while others have had theirs and are planning other aspects of their lives. The friendships are still the same, regardless of what kind of social networking device is used imho. And if it seems so odd to you, why do you feel the need to remain social with the likes of us? Sorry, but your post just felt condescending to me. And for what it's worth, I don't post here a lot...but I respect and value many of these ladies opinions, thoughts, advice and just who they are in general. There are a lot of great people here and if you would have been more open to it, you might have made some great friends here too!

Gabrielle76 · February 2012

Married ladies,
Please don't go away. Ever. Not only have I not gotten married before, I've only been to two weddings since I was old enough to be aware of what was happening. FI hasn't ever been to one. When we started planning, my the extent of my wedding knowledge was that most brides wore white. Now I know what I need to do to plan one, thanks to all of your advice!

sonya+adam · February 2012

OP, if you don't like that people make friends via the internet, then go elsewhere, not on the internet. I don't understand why this shocks you so much. People meet their soulmates online. Does that offend you also?

CAB1217 · February 2012

How about you worry about your own posts, and not what everyone else is doing. Mmmmkay OP?

Why are they still here?

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