Registry and Gift Forum

Showers/Parties

So these questions may have already been covered by previous posts, but I couldn't find any examples of this. I'm not very familiar with bridal showers and engagement parties, as all of my friends are just now starting to get married, and I haven't been around many weddings. Could you ladies please help me? :]

First, a little background: BF and I both have families that are divorced and remarried, as well as our group of mutual friends who are, I would even say, closer to me than my family. When we get engaged, I'm afraid we might end up with 5 possible showers/ engagement parties! I'm an introvert, and tend to get uncomfortable when made the center of attention, so here are my questions:

-Do I have to have a bridal shower / engagement party? I know you don't have to have one, but if that's the case, then I guess my question is Why have one? What is the purpose of these prewedding parties?
-If I decide that I don't want parties, what is the etiquette for that? Is it okay to tell our families and friends not to throw them for us?
-What do you do at a bridal shower?

Thanks in advance!

Re: Showers/Parties

  • The purpose of an engagement party is to introduce the families and to celebrate the engagement.  The purpose of a bridal shower is to shower the bride/couple with gifts.

    With both of these parties, you don't throw them or ask for them, so if someone decided they'd like to throw them, they'll mention it to you.  If you don't want them, you can politely decline.  All you have to say is "thanks for the offer, but I'd really rather not have one."  Of course, none of them are required.  Plenty of people get married without any pre-wedding parties.
  • Ditto pp... the Engagement Party is normally thrown near the beginning of your engagement and is a party to congratulate the couple on their new engagement and for the families to officially meet if they haven't already.

    The bridal shower is a gift giving event normally about a month or two before the wedding where the bride is "showered" with gifts from the couple's registry before the big day. Like you mentioned, neither of these parties are necessary, and if you don't want them just politely decline when they're offered to you. If not, sit back and enjoy!
  • GtoddGtodd member
    First Comment
    Thanks for the info! I appreciate it.

    Now what do you do at a bridal shower?
  • Bridal showers normally have food.. sometimes just fingerfoods.. other times it's a full lunch.. a cake.. drinks.. some silly games.. and then everyone watches the bride open the gifts that the guests brought.
  • Many people do different things at showers.

    Some start off with food and games, then venture on to gifts.  Others just do food and gifts.  I have heard of theme type things, like Tea Parties and other "dress up" events.  Games tend to be a little awkward, but, if they are tasteful can be fun.  Usually people know eachother and visit during the food time. 


    dont make ur password so easy. gbck2CA2 hahahaha
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