writing our own vows

corrinab1010 · October 2009

i love the idea of writing our own vows, but honestly im terrified to do so. i am a shy person overall and i also tend to cry very easily and i can predict already that i will be crying during the ceremony and especially while reading vows. im not sure what to do. any suggestions or personal experiences to be shared?

weddnovice · November 2009

You can write the vows and read them or ask your officiant to feed you the lines and then just repeat them.

jsanders01 · November 2009

thats actually a really good idea that i didnt think of ... have the minister read your vows. the only person who needs to know you wrote the vows is your fiance.

emily.adomanis · November 2009

My husband and I both wrote like, intros to our vows. We each wrote something short and then did the traditional vows after. I really didn't want to do it because I don't like speaking in public and I knew I was going to cry no matter what. It actually ended up being my favorite part of the whole wedding. I was nervous all day about it but then when we said them to each other it was like we were the only ones there. I really recommend doing it.

bitsy_pixie · January 2010

hey there,

I'm new here, My name is Jessica and I am in the same position as you. Very shy and cry so easily but we also are writing our own vows. I think it is much better to speak from your heart than to repeat something a cellebrant tells you to.

My problem is I don't know where to start. I am not good with words and am not sure what to write or how long to have it.

Are you writing seperate vows or writing your own that match? We are having seperate vows but I want them to end the same so our guests know when we are done.

I wish you the best of luck.

lipshtix · February 2010

I am shy too! but we both have decided to write our own vows, and have them on handmade paper to read off. I dont want to memorize, but I do want to have the special feeling of making our own commitment!

kachesle · February 2010

I am in exactly the same spot! I think my fiance is just too shy to pour his heart out in front of 50 people... so I think we are going to alter the standard vows to our liking, but Brides suggested that in these cases you write your own vows to read to each other privately (either right after the ceremony during your "alone" time, or before you go to bed). That way, you can be honest and open without worrying about crying in front of all your friends and family : )

kelly-sean · February 2010

My husband and I wrote our own vows, and like some of the rest of you, I am a weeper. My officiant had a copy of our vows in case we needed a little prompting, and I cried through the whole thing, but at the end of every line I stopped and took a deep breath and it was fine. By the way, good idea to give the officiant a few tissues to stuff in his pocket in case you need them, definately came in handy.

tbrownnme · February 2010

I like this idea too. We are thinking about reading each others wedding vows. It may be an eye jerker :-)

dolanjj · February 2010

how do people feel about having "notes" when saying one's own vows at the ceremony? my fiance and i really want to write our own vows. we're getting married in may and have already started thinking about them. we will start and end with the same line but have our own words in the middle (we agreed on length, so they'll be around the same). but i'm afraid with my emotions and nervousness, i might not be able to just rattle them off. are having the vows written on something that i refer to OK?

squirrly · February 2010

We wrote our whole ceremony, including everything for the officiant to say. We're going to repeat after him for the vows, because I KNOW we will not be able to memorize it.

jayd1088 · February 2010

My Fiance is the one who wanted to write our vows. He said he knows what he is going to say and has forever. Me on the other hand has no clue and our wedding is Sunday. Please help.lol

kimberlyann1974 · March 2010

I am extremely shy and I cry very easy too. It was very important to my FI (hubby now) that we write our vows...so we did. This was a particularly daunting task for the longest because I was in the same boat as you.

Finally I was on my way to work, I had to go in mega early and everything was very quiet. I thought for a moment all the reasons why I loved my FI and the words just flooded into my head. When I got to work I sat down and wrote them out immidiatly and had the perfect vows sitting infront of me less then 5 minutes later. I of course tweaked them a little a few hours later once I had several cups of coffee and was less tired..but they were great.

When it came time for me to read my vows, my Officiant handed me a copy. I did tear up a little, my voice shaked a tiny bit..but it was ok. I amazingly didn't start bawling like a baby. I think I was very consious that everyone was watching me and also, and I don't know if this actually helped...but my FI and I decided to read our vows to one another a couple of weeks before the wedding. It was still an amazing moment when we read the vows to one another at the wedding, it was still ver touching..I teared up, he teared up...the crowd and the officiant were crying...you will be ok

besides, it's totally ok to cry at your wedding...as long as they're tears of joy

writing our own vows

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