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Wedding Guest Dress Code

vikkipeace01vikkipeace01
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

I would like to receive advice on how to nicely state the requested dress code of my wedding guest. My wedding will take place at 7pm and I am requesting semi formal or after 5 dress (I am not sure which I may put on the invite) attire of my guest. I have been to many weddings with semi formal requested dress code, but some people seem not to have a clue what semi formal attire is or what not to wear to a wedding, example white short-shorts , jeans with a t shirt and sunglasses(worn during entire wedding indoors); meant more for clubbing not a wedding!  I have considered inserting a mini diagram/picture of a man and woman dressed in semi formal attire in the invites, but that may be seen as insulting my guest.  So please give me advice on how to nicely state in my invites that guest are requested and required to wear semi formal or after 5 attire.  Also I would like to remind the guest not to wear mini skirts or the color white. I have learned not to trust people's judgment.

Thank you

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Re: Wedding Guest Dress Code

  • annakb8annakb8 member
    First Comment
    Don't say anything. People will figure it out. Or they won't. But if they can't figure it out they probably can't follow instructions either. And semi-formal is an annoying "category" anyway in my opinion.

    And you are right, the diagram would seem very insulting. Most people know how to dress themselves. 
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    If your guests do not get on their own that a Saturday night wedding is dress, no amount of telling them is going to help.

    Now, every family/social group has a big mouth. In our respected families it's our moms.  Mention to those people how dressy the wedding is going to be and they will spread the word.  Or at least that is how it works in my family.  Mom tell my aunts, aunts tell their kids and so on and so on.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • vikkipeace01vikkipeace01
    First Comment

    Thanks ladies for your advice. I will try not to stress over it and hope no one shows up to my wedding in jeans and a t shirt or mini skirts. If they do well........ that's another story.

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  • vikkipeace01vikkipeace01
    First Comment
    Oh, yes thanks! I never thought about that. I am going to do that
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  • vikkipeace01vikkipeace01
    First Comment
    Thank you so much and your right. I am not going to stress about it : )
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  • vikkipeace01vikkipeace01
    First Comment

    Thanks again Ladies. Iam off to have dinner with my husband to  be!!!! : )
    Have a great night ladies!

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  • adktd2bootsadktd2boots member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-guest-dress-code?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:47f79b78-38cd-4db3-9d39-302ac394ae74Post:1a49095d-7bf1-45de-8383-88d4847dd253">Re: Wedding Guest Dress Code</a>:
    [QUOTE]If they do, they will look like the idiots.  You won't even notice.  You will hopefully be so happy that you are marrying the man of your dreams that nothing should pop out too much.
    Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]

    This is exactly what I was going to say.  So, to reiterate:

    THEY WILL LOOK DUMB, not you!  Not your business how someone else dresses.
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    Just because you saw it on Four Weddings, doesn't mean it's a good idea.
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  • ShakeUpTampaShakeUpTampa member
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    Just jumping in late...the mother of the FG asked if she could wear flip flops..I said "Whatever you want but in February the grass is cold and sometimes wet and who knows if there are ants outside" she quickly changed her mind lol
    Nichole Tampa, FL BabyFetus Ticker
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  • adktd2bootsadktd2boots member
    First Comment
    A friend of mine had a semi-formal reception at a country club.  Colors were Navy blue and silver.  Groom's mom showed up in denim capris and a red polo.  Most of the guests were at least in slacks and long sleeve, and the women in dresses.  SHE was the one who looked stupid, but my friend is still married- 5 years later.  And we had a ton of fun.
    So it really didn't matter.
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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    but some people seem not to have a clue what semi formal attire is

    That's because it's not a real dress code.

    Also, 5:00 is afternoon. 7:00 is evening. Afternoon and evening attire differ. There's no such thing as "after 5" attire, either.
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  • PhoneCardLadyPhoneCardLady member
    Name Dropper First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer
    Back in June my parents got a STD card from my cousin's FDIL, which was dated ONE MONTH BEFORE THE WEDDING.  You could hardly read the print and then had a copy of a not saying that the wedding was closed to immediate family.  The reception was to be at a church and that people could come in jeans and shorts (since the ceremony was supposedly outside).

    I thought that this was extremely rude and tacky.  Were my parent's considered immediate family, especially since a STD was sent?  To top it off, there was never an invitation/announcement sent.

    As stated, unless it is black/white tie, you do not tell people how to dress.  At the same time, I would hope that people would realize that jeans, shorts and a t-shirt are not approperate wedding attire for guest!
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  • Habs2HartHabs2Hart member
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-guest-dress-code?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:47f79b78-38cd-4db3-9d39-302ac394ae74Post:71d0d22f-5071-4b86-8bbd-fe1f7df4ab8f">Wedding Guest Dress Code</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would like to receive advice on how to nicely state the requested dress code of my wedding guest. My wedding will take place at 7pm and I am requesting semi formal or after 5 dress (I am not sure which I may put on the invite) attire of my guest. I have been to many weddings with semi formal requested dress code, but some people seem not to have a clue what semi formal attire is or what not to wear to a wedding, example white short-shorts , jeans with a t shirt and sunglasses(worn during entire wedding indoors); meant more for clubbing not a wedding!  <strong>I have considered inserting a mini diagram/picture of a man and woman dressed in semi formal attire in the invites, but that may be seen as insulting my guest.  So please give me advice on how to nicely state in my invites that guest are requested and required to wear semi formal or after 5 attire.  Also I would like to remind the guest not to wear mini skirts or the color white. I have learned not to trust people's judgment. Thank you
    </strong>Posted by vikkipeace01[/QUOTE]

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  • rebarobert2012rebarobert2012
    First Comment
    A diagram would be incredibly insulting. You cannot control what people wear to your wedding.  If they dress inappropriately, it reflects badly on them, not on you.
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  • Mary Alex SennMary Alex Senn
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you have a wedding website you could always put it on there under additional guest information, but just say the attire, no diagram. Just not on the formal invite. That's what I'm doing/have done!
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  • chumlee7478chumlee7478
    First Comment
    You can't tell your guests what to wear.  If someone asks what the weather in your area will be like around the time of your wedding, you can let them know hot/cold/rainy/etc, but it's up to them what to wear. 

    My FSIL only wears jeans or black slacks to events.  She asked FI if jeans were ok to our wedding.  He said--and I quote-- "if that's what you're comfortable in, that's fine.  I'll be in a black suit with the rest of the guys and my future father in law, and Christine's dress is ivory floor length.  It could be warm or cold given that it's spring here".  She realized on her own she'd stand out in jeans given what we'd be wearing.  If she shows in jeans anyway, fine by me.  She's an adult.  I still love her no matter what she wears, and she's there to celebrate with us. 

    I have a friend who wears a floor length white gown to every wedding she attends as a guest.  People still invite her, so clearly no one cares much. 
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