Prom dress at my wedding...

sweet_pea_flower04 · December 2010

Today I was offically told that my fiances brother(usher), has prom the same day as my wedding. The prom is not the issue, but the usher's girl friend wearing her prom dress to my reception! I however do not think its is proper for her to show up in a prom dress at my wedding, because it just does not seem fitting.

What are your thoughts!?

andy71781 · December 2010

I think she can wear whatever she wants and you are lucky if she misses her prom for your wedding.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · December 2010

I don't see the issue. Prom dresses = formal dresses. If other people are in formal atture, what's the big deal? I actually think it would be easier to pick a former BM dress out of the crowd than a prom dress.

Simply Fated · December 2010

It depends on what her prom dress looks like... is it white? I doubt it will be, even the youngins nowadays have heard horror stories about what happens when you wear a white dress to prom.

Anyway, I'm not sure why you think it's inappropriate. Do you think she'll be too overdressed or too underdressed or what? I think we need more info here

Mrs.B6302007 · December 2010

Better than her showing up in jeans.

LDYGTR13 · December 2010

I actually think it would make her uncomfortable more than it would make you. Would you want to show up WAY overdressed to a wedding of someone you barely know (if you know them at all) and obviously look like you're going to the prom? She's going to stick out like a sore thumb...no skin off of your nose...she's the one who's gonna look like an idiot.

mica178 · December 2010

Really? This is your concern?

Not all prom dresses are poofy, you know. Some of them look like cocktail dresses. But no matter what she wears, that's more her issue than yours.

Mrs.B6302007 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prom-dress-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b83658af-e273-4e81-b41e-677ff473ba77Post:f633231d-049a-48a6-9433-0282c994f074">Re: Prom dress at my wedding...</a>:
[QUOTE]It depends on what her prom dress looks like... is it white? I doubt it will be, even the youngins nowadays have heard horror stories about what happens when you wear a white dress to prom. Anyway, I'm not sure why you think it's inappropriate. Do you think she'll be too overdressed or too underdressed or what? I think we need more info here :)
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

I think the issue is that she thinks people will mistake her for a BM and that there might be a little thunder-stealing.

megk8oz · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prom-dress-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b83658af-e273-4e81-b41e-677ff473ba77Post:fffc0175-eaff-4db7-8fb4-865b6904664e">Re: Prom dress at my wedding...</a>:
[QUOTE]I actually think it would make her uncomfortable more than it would make you. Would you want to show up WAY overdressed to a wedding of someone you barely know (if you know them at all) and obviously look like you're going to the prom?<strong> She's going to stick out like a sore thumb...no skin off of your nose...<u>she's the one who's gonna look like an idiot.</u></strong>
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

Yup. Nobody judged <strong>me</strong> for what the Best Man's ex-FI wore.

ricksang · December 2010

You won't even notice what soneone is wearing on that day unless they show up in something like this

Birdie1483 · December 2010

I'm sure she is more worried and upset about missing her prom for your reception.

I'm still trying to figure out how your FI's brother is going to be an usher and go to his prom in the same day. I would feel like it would be one or the other, and then the dress wouldn't be an issue?

ricksang · December 2010

Barbie Doll Cake dress!

Mrs.B6302007 · December 2010

Duds - that looks like one of those Barbie cakes

sweet_pea_flower04 · December 2010

The wedding is not formal, but semi-formal. And yes the dress is princess and white!

sweet_pea_flower04 · December 2010

My ceremony is at 3, reception at 5pm. The prom is at 8pm.

banana468 · December 2010

Let it go. Even if she's rude enough to wear a white princess giwn to your wedding, it isn't for you to tell her to do otherwise.

hetshup · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prom-dress-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b83658af-e273-4e81-b41e-677ff473ba77Post:e95280a2-ba4c-4e76-bac8-4e9da958b58a">Re: Prom dress at my wedding...</a>:
[QUOTE]The wedding is not formal, but semi-formal. And yes the dress is princess and white!
Posted by sweet_pea_flower04[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Sounds like you might have to jello wrestle to the death then.</div>

sweet_pea_flower04 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prom-dress-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b83658af-e273-4e81-b41e-677ff473ba77Post:c666f638-52e4-44c2-a50b-e7a2fdd6c18c">Re: Prom dress at my wedding...</a>:
[QUOTE]Are you planning on dictating the attire for the rest of your guests, as well? Or are you just singling out this poor young girl who is probably really excited to show off her prom dress to an adult crowd? Either way, you sound like a peach.
Posted by The Mel and Todd Show[/QUOTE]
I think you sound just as rude as I do!

polichik · December 2010

Ok, if somebody was wearing a long, white princess gown to my wedding, I'd be mildly upset. I'd see if I could get a close relative or friend of hers to gently suggest that wearing a white ball gown to a weddign might be a misstep.

Would it ruin my wedding? Hell no. But would it annoy me, and probably some other guests? Probably. You certainly can't dictate what other guests wear, but we usually say that as long as nobody could mistake the guest in question for the bride, to chill out. In this case, the dress sounds pretty darn bridal. IMO it's a question of respect.

Mrs.B6302007 · December 2010

She's a kid in high school. She probably doesn't know that it's poor etiquette to wear a white dress to a wedding.

squeakyduck · December 2010

Hopefully someone would tell her that it is inappropriate to wear a poofy white dress to a wedding. Her mother, her boyfriend, someone should tell the poor girl not to wear it. Tell the brother how you feel, maybe he can tell her that he thinks her dress won't work for the wedding.

But if she wears it anyways, ignore her. people will side-eye her and not you.

The Mel and Todd Show · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prom-dress-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b83658af-e273-4e81-b41e-677ff473ba77Post:8354b24d-6e09-4638-b6e0-e9626be010ed">Re: Prom dress at my wedding...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Prom dress at my wedding... : I think you sound just as rude as I do!
Posted by sweet_pea_flower04[/QUOTE]

The distinction which you appear to be overlooking is that my behavior is intentional and entertaining to me, whereas you are trying to justify yours.

If this girl has a mother, she will likely stop her daughter from wearing a white puffy princess dress to your wedding. If she does not, this girl will look foolish. You will look like a lovely bride who didn't allow herself to be stressed by those outside forces which she could not possibly have controlled.

sweet_pea_flower04 · December 2010

My FI brother just switched schools after my wedding day was planned. We planned around his old schools prom date and graduation!

sweet_pea_flower04 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prom-dress-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b83658af-e273-4e81-b41e-677ff473ba77Post:0a700d58-bf08-4c36-939e-1059d174a06d">Re: Prom dress at my wedding...</a>:
[QUOTE]Usher: "Yo, prom date. My brother's FI is freaking out because you have a big ole white prom dress and well...she's supposed to be the only one in a big ole white dress on her wedding day. So here's the plan, toots, go get yer hair did, I'll pick you up after the nups and we'll skeedattle to the prom afterward, capiche?"
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

This had me rolling!

andy71781 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prom-dress-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b83658af-e273-4e81-b41e-677ff473ba77Post:deee3455-efde-4668-9eb1-9888b6b6bb02">Re: Prom dress at my wedding...</a>:
[QUOTE]To be honest I dont like the girl! I really feel like she does not like me! My FI's brother is 15, he does not need to bring a date. I have not sent out the invites, so I think I just wont invite her to avoid this situation! It is my wedding and I think after reading these comments the girl can have her prom and I can have my wedding, but the two do not go together!
Posted by sweet_pea_flower04[/QUOTE]
oh wow - it sounds like that is a really good plan to get in good with your in-laws. I second mel&todd - you sound like a real peach.

Simply Fated · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prom-dress-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b83658af-e273-4e81-b41e-677ff473ba77Post:deee3455-efde-4668-9eb1-9888b6b6bb02">Re: Prom dress at my wedding...</a>:
[QUOTE]To be honest I dont like the girl! I really feel like she does not like me! My FI's brother is 15, he does not need to bring a date. I have not sent out the invites, so I think I just wont invite her to avoid this situation! It is my wedding and I think after reading these comments the girl can have her prom and I can have my wedding, but the two do not go together!
Posted by sweet_pea_flower04[/QUOTE]
We went from....

She's wearing a poofy prom dress to she's wearing a white poofy prom dress to we dont' like each other.
If you alter your story one more time to make it more dramatic to win us over, I'm going to call BS. Are we understood?

Ok, look. If he is dating her during your wedding, you should invite her. Social units should not be split up.

Not many girls would choose some chicks wedding over their own prom, so she might not.

She's not so bright if she is wearing a white dress to a wedding AND a prom. She's pretty much destined to get her period that night. Siriusly.

Invite her, and if she shows up wearing a mini wedding dress, she'll look silly and you're day won't be ruined. :)

Mrs.B6302007 · December 2010

In two replies, you've said "MY wedding day" about 4 times. Don't forget, it's your FI's wedding day as well.

sweet_pea_flower04 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prom-dress-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b83658af-e273-4e81-b41e-677ff473ba77Post:caa8b83a-af49-4061-9330-3261a1b15bb0">Re: Prom dress at my wedding...</a>:
[QUOTE]In two replies, you've said "MY wedding day" about 4 times. Don't forget, it's your FI's wedding day as well.
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]
Thanks for poitning that out.. he calls me out on it all the time=)

The Mel and Todd Show · December 2010

OP, you deleted your last response to me? I had a really good comeback. You and I were about to have an epic throwdown, and then become BFF. WTF?

I get it. You are definitely supposed to be the only one in a big puffy white dress. But your FIs little brother is dating a moron. You either secretly provide red paint to a friend, who will man the door and throw it upon her should she enter in her big white dress. OR, you take the high road and people talk about the idiot who wore a white pricess dress to your wedding, and how cool you were for not even caring.

sweet_pea_flower04 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_prom-dress-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b83658af-e273-4e81-b41e-677ff473ba77Post:096f054e-fa1e-4a6b-8529-520a0500e3b1">Re: Prom dress at my wedding...</a>:
[QUOTE]OP, you deleted your last response to me? I had a really good comeback. You and I were about to have an epic throwdown, and then become BFF. WTF? I get it. You are definitely supposed to be the only one in a big puffy white dress. But your FIs little brother is dating a moron. You either secretly provide red paint to a friend, who will man the door and throw it upon her should she enter in her big white dress. OR, you take the high road and people talk about the idiot who wore a white pricess dress to your wedding, and how cool you were for not even caring.
Posted by The Mel and Todd Show[/QUOTE]

I re-read your comment and realized I read it wrong.. So I re-tracted my statment! The epic throw down has been averted! Thanks for the advice.

megk8oz · December 2010

If she really hates you, maybe she's saying all of this just to piss you off.

Prom dress at my wedding...

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