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NWR: Etiquette Question about a Sympathy Card

myrinaemyrinae member
25 Love Its 10 Comments First Anniversary
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I have a question regarding a colleague of mine. During the summer break, a colleague had a death in the family. He's  a very private person, and I do not interact with him very much, but he's always been very nice the times we have.  I had his daughter last year in my class and will have her again this year. She's a super sweet girl and I definitely have an establish connection with her. My question is, would it be weird or tacky to give him (addressed to his family, too) a sympathy card now? School is starting back up and this will be the first time I will see him and his daughter since the start of summer. I couldn't find their address to mail one over the summer, so would it be tacky now to give one (over a month after the family member's passing)?

Thanks in advance for any advice!
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Re: NWR: Etiquette Question about a Sympathy Card

  • myrinaemyrinae member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments First Anniversary
    "  I would probably consider giving them a "Thinking of You" card rather than a sympathy card"
    I was thinking of that as an option as well. That would probably be better. Thanks for your input!
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  • specialk84specialk84
    2500 Comments
    I received a sympathy card well over a month after my grandmother's death. I still appreciated, though I agree with Mrs. Jesse that a Thinking of You card, or even a pretty card with a blank interior, might be better suited for this.
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  • LoopysevenLoopyseven member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    I agree, a sympathy card would be fine, but as PP's said, a blank card with your own message, or a thinking of you card might be better since some time has passed.
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  • Avion22Avion22 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    It's never too late to express your sympathy or thoughts to someone whose family member has passed.   Often, immediately following the death, there is a flood of sympathy, and after a few weeks it trickles, and sometimes family members are left wondering if anyone still cares -- it feels like everyone else has moved on with their life while the family is left with their grief.   Also, it can be really weird seeing someone again after a while (say, summer school break) and not knowing if they have heard the news....it's weird to bring up to someone if you're not sure if they know or not ("so, did you hear that my mom died?") 

    Short answer:  yes, it's fine to send a card.  "Thinking of You" or blank inside are fine.  It will let the family know that you are aware of the passing of their loved one, and that you are keeping them in your thoughts even though some time has passed.
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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I don't think it would be weird at all.  I feel certain, based on my recent experience, the family would appreciate expressions of sympathy at any time.  It is a very thoughtful gesture.
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  • PhoneCardLadyPhoneCardLady member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    As a former chaplain for my Daughters of American Revolution chapter, it would be approperate (and most likely appreciated) to send a Thinking o fYou or a blank card with your own personal message.  A sympathy card at this point is a bit too late.

    Too often, family and friends of the deceased are forgotten only weeks after a person has passed on.
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  • myrinaemyrinae member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments First Anniversary
    Thank you so much, everyone, for your advice--it was very helpful1 I've decided to go with a blank card with my own message. It's reassuring to hear that it's not too late to do so. Thanks again!
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  • MoxieMickieMoxieMickie member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary
    Never too late. There are even sympathy cards designed more for an anniversary of death/birth with sayings like, "although time has passed..."
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