Ranty rant rant - Semi NWR

LeiselEB · May 2012

So our best man just posted the link to our wedding website page that lists him as such on his facebook. I'm PISSED. I didn't want to password protect the site because I wanted our guests to have an easy time accessing it, but I never thought someone would actually post the link on facebook - especially the best man! I've asked him to take it down and it's STILL there, and he hasn't responded to my texts. I'm fuming. I made all the pages invisible for now, but already two people who aren't invited to the wedding wrote on the website's guest book. I've had several random high school friends ask me about coming to the wedding in the past and I'm afraid they'll see this link and assume it's an open invitation (That's irrational, but still). I wanna kill the best man. FI's at work and can't deal with it now, but I really wish he would because I don't really want to be the one dealing with his friend. If you ladies have any advice, I'll take it...but mainly I just wanted to freak out about this for a bit

ahhhitsshannyn · May 2012

WTF! That is so stupid. Why would he even do that?! This makes no sense to me. I would keep pestering him and have FI call him too to make sure it is taken down. That is so weird.

Meegles4 · May 2012

I got really confused at first because I keep seeing your lovely wedding dress pics, so I assumed you were already married. But now I see that's not the case.

BM did a dumb thing, but it'll be OK. People posted things about my wedding all the time on FB.

SparrowSong · May 2012

I want to see some other/bigger pictures of your dress. It looks really pretty!

ChristineNB · May 2012

I think you are over-reacting. He probably should have asked, but lots of people will post links to their wedding sites on their facebook pages and people who are not invited to the wedding will see the pages. I posted my wedding page for my fb friends to see, and it's been fine.

ahhhitsshannyn · May 2012

I guess I am the odd man then. I think it's stupid that someone would post someone else's personal business on their facebook for all of their friends and family to see. Liesel, did you even post it on your personal facebook? And he shared it for some odd reason? If you didn't even put it on facebook I think he really crossed the line by taking it upon himself to post it.

LeiselEB · May 2012

I have put nothing about my wedding on Facebook. Not even the date or a countdown or anything like that. My friends will occasionally write on my wall saying how soon it is and how excited they are, but I do not like having any wedding details on Facebook. We made the website only for guests to have the information they needed - I didn't want it to be something that my friends who aren't invited could look through. That's why I'm so upset about it. I get that he was excited to see himself listed as the best man, but he could have just posted something to that effect rather than linking the website. I'm more upset now that he hasn't taken it down yet and won't respond to me.

And no, I'm not married yet - the dress pictures are from my fittings

RupertPenny · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ranty-rant-rant-semi-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6f01e0d1-50c0-4630-960d-7efd0f689be1Post:a578799e-7bab-4983-8271-d4bcc8d6649d">Re: Ranty rant rant! Semi NWR</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I am the odd man then. I think it's stupid that someone would post someone else's personal business on their facebook for all of their friends and family to see. Liesel, did you even post it on your personal facebook? And he shared it for some odd reason? If you didn't even put it on facebook I think he really crossed the line by taking it upon himself to post it.
Posted by ahhhitsshannyn[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I agree with Shan. Posting that on facebook is weird. I'd guess he was trying to brag about being a groomsman? That is still kind of strange and not all that bragworthy. I'd be annoyed if someone posted my wedding website on facebook and I'd ask them to take it down as well.

</div>

RYLZ · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ranty-rant-rant-semi-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6f01e0d1-50c0-4630-960d-7efd0f689be1Post:a578799e-7bab-4983-8271-d4bcc8d6649d">Re: Ranty rant rant! Semi NWR</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I am the odd man then. I think it's stupid that someone would post someone else's personal business on their facebook for all of their friends and family to see. Liesel, did you even post it on your personal facebook? And he shared it for some odd reason? If you didn't even put it on facebook I think he really crossed the line by taking it upon himself to post it.
Posted by ahhhitsshannyn[/QUOTE]

I agree. I'd be pretty ticked off at someone sharing something personal of mine on FB, I myself, had not even shared.

achiduck · May 2012

I'd be pretty annoyed too. Hopefully he'll take it down soon. It really wasn't his information to share.

aragx6 · May 2012

I think what he did was poorly thought through and I don't blame you for being beyond annoyed, but I'm sure he didn't do it maliciously, so try not to be mad at him. I'm sure it will all work out just fine and that people won't take it as an open invitation!

pokepoke27 · May 2012

I agree with Shannyn that you have every right to be aggrivated that it's up there. No, I don't think anyone will assume that it's an open invitation - but you really should not be posting other people's private information all over FB without asking.

I also agree with arag that you should try not to be angry at the BM - he's just excited. As long as he takes it down ASAP (he might not be able to right now) then I think you should just let it go.

Sorry you're dealing with this though : (

krizzo17 · May 2012

If it's any consolation, fi's uncle emailed the link to our website to all of the extended family we didn't invite so they could "keep up to date" with us. I'd just give the groomsman a quick "hey, would you mind taking that down? We don't want people to feel left out" - he probably doesn't even realize what he did, he's just excited for you guys.

mcskatcat · May 2012

I'd be annoyed, but I'd just take down private information (ceremony date, time, location, etc.) for maybe a month or so if possible. I don't know how far out you are, but if you haven't sent out invites yet then I think it would be fine to take some info down for a little while.

LeiselEB · May 2012

That's the thing - I've asked him a few times now to take it down, and finally posted a comment under the link saying I'd prefer he remove it. He's posted other things since then according to his facebook (which I'm now stalking to see if the link is ever removed) so I know he's seen my request and ignored it thus far.

Invites have gone out, and we're about a month and a half away - right when people need to be making travel arrangements, which the website is helpful for. I have made all the pages private for now, so the link basically leads to a blank page, but I really don't want to have to do that for long because it does have a lot of information guests might need regarding hotel blocks.

I'm happy that he's so excited and I'm not mad about that. I'm mad that he's ignored my request for the link to be removed, and that he put private information of mine on facebook without checking with me.

lyndausvi · May 2012

I get being upset, but I don't think it's as big of a deal as you are making out to be. Any google search could have popped up the website. This just gives people an easier way for the information to be access.

hannahmassey · May 2012

In Response to Re:Ranty rant rant! Semi NWR:[QUOTE]I think you need to calm down and are overreacting, personally.You're not throwing it in people's faces. nbsp;You're not doing anything rude. nbsp;The best man was excited and he posted it. nbsp;When I see people's websites on facebook, I like going, seeing their story, and posting congratulations. nbsp;I don't assume in any way that it is open invitation or that I'll be invited. Posted by djhar[/QUOTE]

I agree. Just take the rsvp page off until you send your invitations.

jemmini6 · May 2012

I get being annoyed and wanting it down, but I think being "pissed" is an extreme overreaction. In my experience, most people don't think about that kind of stuff, especially in their excitement. Just explain casually why you want it taken down, and leave it alone. If he hasn't taken it down by the time your FI gets home, then have him give him a quick call to remind him. He probably doesn't think it's that big of a deal, so I'm not surprised that he hasn't dropped everything he's doing to take it down.

LeiselEB · May 2012

A Google search wouldn't let anyone find our website because I have it set not be searchable through Google. I really didn't want anyone who was not invited to access the website - it was printed on the accommodations card for guests, and I've never shared it in any other capacity.

I understand that people know about the wedding, that pictures of the wedding will end up on facebook, and I'm fine with that. What people do with their pictures is their choice - but this wasn't his website to share. That's a big difference.

I asked him twice to remove it, and I don't see that as overkill. It takes one click to remove the post. The majority of our facebook friends are mutual friends. The best man, my fiance and myself all went to the same high school and have a lot of friends in common. Several of those friends told me that they were expecting an invite, and they weren't all invited. It bothers me that information I wanted private is now public.

MyUserName1 · May 2012

I think he's out of line too. Especially since you said he's been diicking around on facebook since you requested that he remove it. It's not his information to share.

LDubHawksFan · May 2012

You guys just made me google our names and wedding to make sure our site doesn't show up! I would be frustrated, but hopefully he will take it down by the end of the day. If I were a FB friend and went to the website, I would not assume I was invited.

cokie216 · May 2012

I am totally with you on this. It's not his information to share and it's up to you who you want to see private information. If it was me, I would be upset that people who are not invited would see it and feel bad. Hopefully your fiance can deal with this when he gets home from work. You've probably done all you can at this point.

Summer2011Bride · May 2012

I agree that was weird and not his place. I personally don't find issue when friends post a link on their FB profile to their own wedding website. I actually enjoy looking at them and never assume I'm invited. However, it would definitely bother me if someone ELSE posted a link to MY page on FB. I'm sure he did it because he was excited about it, but I would also be hounding him to remove it.

If anyone does inquire about their getting invited (which they shouldn't), I'd just say that you are sorry but are not able to invite everyone you want due to space or budget issues.

LeiselEB · May 2012

Well the link is finally down. He apparently thought the link only took people to one page, and wouldn't let them see the rest of the site, so whatever. He still could have just taken it down when I asked

but it's down now, so I'm happy! A few of FI's friends have said something to him about not being invited, but I think they're just giving him a hard time. Hopefully no one is actually upset. Thanks for letting me bitch about this

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