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Would I be monopolizing my BM's time?

lizstill13lizstill13 member
First Comment
in Pre-wedding Parties
So I am trying to decide if I want to have a bridesmaid's tea the day before the wedding, but I can't decide if I would be monopilzing everyone's time. It would have to be the day before because everyone lives around the state and that's the only time we'll all be in the same place.

The tea would be from 2-3:30. Then the rehearsal is schedule for 4pm. The rehearsal dinner (just the bridal party and parents) would be after that, probably around 6ish. Then FMIL wants to have all the OOT guests (basically the entire wedding guest list)  to her house for drinks and dessert so everyone can meet and mingle.

When I write it all out is seems like a lot to do in one afternoon. I just wanted to do something nice for my bridesmaids and have a chance to relax with the girls. What do you think, is it too much?
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Re: Would I be monopolizing my BM's time?

  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think it sounds like a lovely thing to do ...from the bride's point of view.  As a bridesmaid, I may feel overbooked.  I think the best thing to do here is be flexible and understanding.

    Let say the wedding is on a Saturday, meaning all these activities are planned for Friday.  Assuming your bridesmaids took off work and can get there for a 2pm tea, then be understanding if they choose to skip the evening drinks.  Or, be understanding if they simply can't get in town (or off work) before the 6pm rehersal.  Let them pick and choose what is easiest for them to get to and don't hold it against them if they can't make it.

    Just to share, I went to a wedding this summer on a Saturday.  The rehersal dinner was ten hours away from us!!! and on a Thursday evening.  The bride threw a fit when I suggested that this was unfair.  She didn't even remotely think that maybe this was an inconvience (work-wise, travel-wise, etc)  So... just be understanding and gracious and you will get that temperement in return.

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  • tiffgriffin7tiffgriffin7
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with pp. I think all of those things sound fun so they should be offered but you can be understanding if they decide to leave after the RD or just show up for the rehearsal.
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  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I think it's a great idea.  The BM tea/lunch is your time to thank them for their support and all that they've done for you with planning and your shower (or whatever they did), and a good time for you to give them their BM gifts if you want to. 
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  • jinxed8605jinxed8605
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm opting for a bridesmaid luncheon the day of the wedding (I'm having a Saturday night wedding). We'll have a later lunch and then go directly to the hotel to start getting ready (I've hired a hair stylist for all the girls)
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