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Something borrowed from a FSIL?

mohutch37mohutch37
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in Christian Weddings
Hello, Knotties!

So, I went to pick up my dress last night and they accidentally forgot to order my veil. Flashback to day of purchase...Since I was on the phone (with a friend, explaining I found "THE dress") and my mom was so excited when she was paying for it, the veil was overlooked. The nice thing is that the shop is still willing to offer a discount on the accessory if I order and pay for it now. However, I got to thinking...is this a creative way that our heavenly Father is suggesting I borrow my FSIL's veil? (Just a little background info: I have been courting my FI for almost 3 years and although we are civil to each other, we are not buddy-buddy. Also, it was my FMIL who showed me the veil this past weekend when we visited for Mother's Day and offered it to me- probably because she is the one storing it!) Would asking to borrow the veil help nurture the relationship w/ my FSIL or am I just putting too much thought into this? (By the way, the veil is beautiful and would probably go with my dress, but I also liked the one I picked out. When I am trying to be a good steward of the L_rd's money, it seems like the extra $100 could be spent more wisely too.) ARGH!

Thanks in advance for your suggestions!   
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Re: Something borrowed from a FSIL?

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    mrb5000mrb5000
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hmmm...do you think your FSIL would have a problem with it?  Some people can be very possesive of stuff like that.  If FMIL offered it to you without asking her daughter first, that might be an issue.  If you're really interested in the veil, I'd talk to your FMIL about it and maybe she can mention it to her daughter.  I think it would go better if FSIL offered it to you and you accepted, rather than you asking for it, because that could create some extra tension (especially if she feels like she has to say yes even if she doesn't want to.)  But, make sure that the veil is something you're going to be happy with! (And don't forget that you won't have your wedding veil to keep, should you ever want to pass it down to a daughter or daughter-in-law).
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    Jeffie86Jeffie86
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm kind of thinking you should ask to borrow it, if you do really like it and don't mind not having your own to keep.  Just say, "Hey, FSIL, you mother showed me your veil the other day and I think it's beautiful.  I was wondering if I might be able to borrow it for my wedding."  You can be really gentle about it, and make sure she knows it's okay if she doesn't want to lend it to you. 

    I do think this might be a good opportunity to bond with her--you might get her talking about her own wedding or something. 

    But veils are obscenely expensive.  Don't spend the cash if you don't need to.  I don't know how ornate it is, but could you possibly make one?  
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    kkidd28kkidd28 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
         I think you should ask her!  It would be nice as a family keepsake - to have something to pass around!  She may enjoy starting the tradition!  Plus it would be a good bonding experience for you two!

        I don't think she will say no!
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    SeleenaJulietSeleenaJuliet member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    For someone that you are not close with, it seems like it may be a bit much asking for something so personal.  A lot of people would not like to share something that was such a huge part of THEIR day with someone else.  I think you should ask your FMIL to ask her daughter to gauge where she is.  That way, you'll avoid the tension and awkwardness of that conversation.
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    mohutch37mohutch37
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hey Knotties. Wanted to give you an update. So I asked the FMIL to talk to FSIL (but also offered to talk to FSIL) directly if that works best. Well, FMIL said it was okay to borrow the veil. Then when I thanked FSIL (via Facebook), she seemed a bit confused why I didn't ask her directly. (Oh geez, what is a girl to do?!) Guess I should of done it a bit differently...On the plus side, I should see the veil this weekend to see if it matches my dress! Thanks again for your support.
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