I am going crazy! Please help

megan8290 · July 2012

I'm extremely upset right now. I just found out my MOH's father died of a heart attack. My heart is breaking for this poor girl. She's trying to get the earliest flight home tomorrow. I'm going over to her place tonight and trying to arrange transportation there because my mother won't let me drive her car at night. She's giving me a extremely difficult time to do that. One of the groomsmen still haven't gotten his tux measured. No one is planning the bachelor party because no one has money. My god parents might not make it to my wedding because my god father's mother is ill in critical condition. My dad can't be at the wedding.....etc...etc..

FI said he's had enough of it and wants to call off the whole thing. The wedding is 10 days away. I don't want to call it off. It can still happen!

Really need some support here.

megan8290 · July 2012

We have paid everything is full since the wedding is so close. FI is bipolar so he said he has no sympathy for my MOH going home because he didn't leave when his dad died which is a HORRIBLE thing to say. He said everything just isn't going according to plan. I don't have my own car because I don't live in LA anymore, I'm also pretty broke right now (just finished school) so FI is paying for most everything.

My mom is mad at me for putting my MOH over her lawyer's app. tmrw morning for her green card.

Everyone is squeezing me, I can't breath.

Belichick · July 2012

Be grateful you're seeing this side of him now and listen to him when he says he wants to call off the wedding. I would not marry someone so heartless.

Belichick · July 2012

I'm sorry I could have phrased that more gently, but I stand by the sentiment. I know you're reeling right now, but take a step back & really think about whether or not this is someone you want by your side during tough times.

megan8290 · July 2012

He says slot of horrible things he doesn't mean when he's upset. A symptom with bipolar patient. I think he's calmed down. We are talking about what to do now. He drives me nuts when mania happens which is anger for him.

megan8290 · July 2012

and no he is not. He's tried a lot of them and have caused severe side effects. Therapy was working well but we are now in CA and not where we live so he haven't been for a while. He's also not over his father's death 2 yrs ago from a heartattack

LeiselEB · July 2012

Is he medicated? My sister is bipolar, so I get what you're saying about him saying things he doesn't mean when he's manic. But please don't let him use that as an excuse to be mean or say whatever he wants - there are plenty of ways to treat bipolar disorder, and if I were marrying him, I'd want to know that he was working on managing that disorder. Maybe he is and I'm just talking for nothing, but if his response to your being stressed is to call off the wedding....I see that as a problem.

ETA: I see you just answered. He needs to work on finding a combination of meds that work. My sister didn't get something that worked for her until 5 years after her diagnosis. It sucks, but she is SO much better off now that she has medication that works for her (though she's stopped taking it and is now back to extreme mania/depression like before she had medication...seriously, finding the right meds makes SUCH a difference). Can you guys find a therapist in your area?

megan8290 · July 2012

I would love for him to see a therapist in the area. He's a bit reluctant since he's only going to be in San Diego for 5 days, LA for 5 days, Hawaii for 10 days and then going back to Houston. He's had bipolar since high school, was wrongly diagnosed depression and given anti depressants which made it a lot worse. We just talked, he doesn't want to call off the wedding. He's just pissed at everything right now. We decided to not talk any more tonight to not feed the fire.

Thank you guys for the support. I really don't have any now ( My MOH was my biggiest and only support). I'm going to go try to find her and cry with her. It's so terribly to see someone you love in agony.

megan8290 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-am-going-crazy-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:71b71d21-1bd1-492d-98fe-e81f7d38b882Post:8c51e345-cb01-447a-91e2-2fdf06320392">Re: I am going crazy! Please help</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I am going crazy! Please help : I would not go through with a marriage to someone who wasn't doing everything they could do for themselves. But that's me. He needs to get back to therapy or find a combination of medications that work (I didn't read all of Leisel's post, but I saw that bit.) Can you live with a lifetime of him not being on meds/relapsing because he isn't?
Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>He used to be soooooooo much worse. He's been getting much better now and I'm serious, the fact that he's only saying these angry things is really better than what it used to. He's been working on it basically the whole time we've been dating. </div>

sbc2013 · July 2012

So, I realize you aren't at home, but what about calling his therapist in Houston and asking for a phone session? Especially if you aren't heading back to Houston for 20 days...

ETA: extra word deleted

LeiselEB · July 2012

I'm glad he's working on it, Megan. Hopefully once you guys are settled in one place things will get better.

megan8290 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-am-going-crazy-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:71b71d21-1bd1-492d-98fe-e81f7d38b882Post:d15b5817-d88d-4ea6-a08e-25b993a3a0a2">Re: I am going crazy! Please help</a>:
[QUOTE]So, I realize you aren't at home, but what about calling his therapist in Houston and asking for a phone session? Especially if you aren't heading back to Houston for 20 days... ETA: extra word deleted
Posted by sbc2013[/QUOTE]

<div>This whole situation is just the worst timing. We moved out of Cleveland in June, his therapist left her job in May. We haven't founda home yet in Houston, we are moving there in September. He is going through a faze that no one can help him. Couple days ago, he said now is a bad time for a wedding. Not a marriage, just a wedding. *sigh*</div><div>At least our relationship isn't going sour because of this, it's just distressed.

I really appreciate everyone's kind words. Thank you.</div>

sbc2013 · July 2012

I hope it all works out, Megan. If you don't find the support you need in the coming days/weeks, you should come back and just vent. I think it helps, even if we are all technically internet strangers.

angelsong21 · July 2012

Sorry you are going through all of this right now, Megan. This is a lot to take on. I know it is VERY difficult sometimes for those who are bipolar to keep taking their medications, and I know a lot of them have difficult side effects to manage. Has he tried Lamictal (generic name 'lamitrogene')? It's a great, effective drug that has very minimal side effects.

Best of luck to you in the next 20 days. Breathe as much as you can, and come back and vent if you need to.

ETA: Also, I think the phone session with the therapist in Houston is a really good idea right now.

Kristin789 · July 2012

You and FI need to meet with your officiant and get re-centered on the real reason for this wedding.

Cortney1982 · July 2012

Just forget about everybody, who's going to make it or not. If they don't make it, it is their issue. It drove my husband and I nuts and angry over the handful of people we had changing their mind every 5 minutes on whether they would be able to make it or not. A few times we wanted to cancel the whole thing and just go to the court house as well.

megan8290 · July 2012

Just came home from my MOH's place. She's completely a mess. Basically tore up her entire room and is showing signs of broken heart syndrome. I wish I can do more, ugh, I wish I make enough money to fly her home, help her financially.

Angelsong: I know he's tried Lamictal and said it didn't work.

The other problem with medication is that he's a composer and he said when he takes medications, he's completely dead and can't write any good music.

I'm glad I have place to let out all of this.

ems27 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-am-going-crazy-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:71b71d21-1bd1-492d-98fe-e81f7d38b882Post:96646fb5-9d18-401c-a371-e05e143fae7d">Re: I am going crazy! Please help</a>:
[QUOTE]Just came home from my MOH's place. She's completely a mess. Basically tore up her entire room and is showing signs of broken heart syndrome. I wish I can do more, ugh, I wish I make enough money to fly her home, help her financially. Angelsong: I know he's tried Lamictal and said it didn't work. The other problem with medication is that he's a composer and he said when he takes medications, he's completely dead and can't write any good music. :( I'm glad I have place to let out all of this.
Posted by megan8290[/QUOTE]

I know you're trying and want to be a really good friend and support for her right now- but watch out for yourself a bit, too. There is a lot going on right now, and some of your earlier posts sounded like you were having a panic attack- so to echo PPs, make sure you breathe!

Best of luck, Megan, I'm so sorry for everything that is going on.

I am going crazy! Please help

Re: I am going crazy! Please help

Choose Another Board

Search Boards