In rememberance

Play getaway · May 2011

Just updating b/c i know that ppl asked for me to let them know.
First off, thank you to everyone who showed support and shared their prayers for me and my family regarding my Cousin during his time in the hospital. Especially that you guys are total strangers, really, I appreciate it.

My cousin was taken off life support on Wednesday after being diagnosed as brain damaged. No one was sure if he would still live after it or just be brain damaged, unfortunately he passed away on Thursday.
We had the funeral service on Sunday in Virginia and just got back last night.

Both FI & I have had a lot of family deaths over the years together and have thought about doing something in our wedding but havent given it more thought than that until recently.
I've seen and read a few things for it l;ike leaving open chairs with their names, putting a flower on the chair, or carrying one for each person, and having a momment of silence but i'm looking for some other ideas that could be more meaningful without having to list everyone's names (it'd be long).
Does anyone have any more ideas?

This is was my Cousin, Dan, with his daughter Leah

Me playing with Leah yesterday. 3 1/2 yr old

it was so sad to leave her as she said "Please don't go cousin Gina" ugh. it was heartbreaking

Bride_to_be_2011 · May 2011

so sorry for your loss

Play getaway · May 2011

sorry i posted this twice and idk how to delete it

paprika28 · May 2011

I'm not a huge fan of leaving the seats open, just because you know you want to remember them, but you don't want it to seem morbid.

Personally, I would have some pretty candles wrapped in velum with 'in remembrance of...' on it, and a few pretty flower arrangements. Mention in the program that they're in rememberance of loved ones lost, and leave it at that.

ETA: (because I hit post waaaay to fast) I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope that you guys will be able to grieve openly and remember the good times, rather than be sad about the loss. That's the only thing that's ever gotten us through our many funerals & losses over the past few years. I'll keep you and your family in my T&P. ((hugs))

FutureMrsTCT · May 2011

So sorry for your loss.

As far as the Rememberance, maybe have a table at the cocktail/ reception. We're doing a bouquet, candle and photos of those who have passed. It would be a nice way to remember those not with you, have them there, but not in a lengthy way since you said that there were (unfortunately) a longer list of names.

T&P are still with you and your family.

RecoveringActor · May 2011

I'm really sorry about your cousin.

I do agree with Paprika about no-go on the open chairs. For people who don't know your cousin, it can be confusing. I would definitely put something in the program. And I've seen some people have pictures of their parents, grandparents, etc from their weddings. If you're doing a table like that, what about adding a "in remembrance" photo of your cousin?

We are having a full Catholic mass, and we are including our deceased relatives and friends in our Prayer of the Faithful. Once it gets closer to the wedding, I'm going to talk to my friend who lost his wife last week about including her in the Prayer of the Faithful.

ysl1983 · May 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss =(

I am planning to have a table with candles and pictures of loved ones who have passed away.

QTsgirl522 · May 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've seen people do the table in the corner of the reception. It's really nice but I went over to it at my friends and started getting teary. We just had our officiant mention it in the ceremony briefly and put names in the programs.

rachelk456 · May 2011

So sorry for your loss. T & P for you and your family.

I also like Paprika's ideas for the rememberance.

Ms.BriarRose · May 2011

I am so sorry for your loss. I know no words will help, but please know that my thoughts and prayers are with your family during this difficult time.

Here is a picture of what we did for our grandparents. In addition, I held a hankie of my grandfather's (thank God, because I cried the whole way down the aisle and needed it so bad!), and then I also wrapped a little picture charm of him around my bouquet. DH decided, when his grandmother died right before the wedding, to "invite" her by taking the invitation to the viewing and funeral and presenting it to her privately. For him, that was what was enough.

may2005 · May 2011

I'm very sorry for your loss.

At my wedding several years ago, I purchased a set of votive candleholders that were set on stems of varying heights. We had 3 of the candleholders set up among the flowers and garland arrangements that were in memory of both my parents and my husband's father who had all passed away recently. The arrangement was set up on a mantel a few feet away from where we exchanged our vows.

My brother, who gave me away, remarked about the candles during the ceremony so that all the guests would know the significance of the arrangement. It made all of us feel that in some way, our parents were there in spirit at the wedding.

Play getaway · May 2011

thanks guys. It's hard esp. because it was obviously unexpected.
He is also my age, only 3 months younger and was always active.
With such a young daughter, it just makes it even worse. I wasnt going to have children but now i feel like i should have her there so will have to make some exceptions.. which might be hard to figure out the requirements without ppl getting mad.

I agree with everyone about the empty chairs, i thought it was depressing too thats why i was looking for some other suggestions and love what you girls came up with!

Ms.Briar rose, i loved that pic and think May youi shared the same idea. I was trying to read what you had written but it was hard to see everything. Could you send it to me?

Do you guys think it'd be too much to have a saying during the ceremony and then that at the reception, or just one or the other?

In rememberance

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