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And so the kid drama has begun!

MYLOVE315MYLOVE315 member
First Comment
in New York-Hudson Valley
SO my FI's brother decided to text him today - mind you he had a falling out with his brother last September after their mother had gotten sick and they haven't spoke since.

They have a 3yr old son. Apparently the world shifted on its axis when this child was born because they do nothing and go nowhwere without him. I get that. I come from a large family and between friends and family everyone has children. We had to make the no children rule for 2 reasons: A) I don't feel children belong at a wedding B) for budget reasons across the board we had to say no.

I nicely put the response card where you could not mistake who was invited. The envelope was addressed to the brother and sister in law and inside the card it read..... 2 seats have been reserved for you.

I think the brother is setting my FI up for another family feud and for the life of me don't know why he's even bothering to question it!  So  the text message read:  Please let us know if we can bring Joey to your wedding? Thank you.

I think the brother is pushing my FI to say Um no your son isnt ivinted jerk off because he would've been listed on the envelope!

As you can tell I have an incredible disdain for his brother. He's a bully. He uses his son as a pawn for everything.  Don't get me wrong the child is adorable. He just doesn't belong at the wedding and its not like they cant find a babysitter....they just don't want to. The sister in law comes from a family of 10! So please!

What would you do if you were me or us?
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Re: And so the kid drama has begun!

  • ReginaB13ReginaB13 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Just inform them that no, Joey can't come... and  that you can't make exceptions to your "no child" policy, since it is in place for all other guests and that wouldn't be fair. Explain your original reasoning for deciding no children in the first place. It's your wedding, they should understand... And if they don't.... Boo!!!!

    That's what I would do. We are also not allowing children.


    Regina
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  • Jenni83Jenni83
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I had an issue when i got married also,i had the no kids rule and my husbands cousin thought she would be able to bring her son,when we sent the rsvp's we allowed her a guest and she tired to bring her 3 year old as her guest without letting us know,she had a plan to rsvp her and her guest w/o telling us that it was her son,i did gift bags so when my DH called to find out what her guests name was so we could properly address the gift bag she said "Oh im bringing my son as my guest".DH had to nicely tell her that even though she was allowed a guest she could not bring her 3 year old son bc a wedding was not the place for a child and that it would not be fair to all the other guest's.In the end she was pissed off and opted not to come but that was her problem not mine...

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  • chrisnjay05212010chrisnjay05212010
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    agree with Regina, just say no i'm sorry there are no children at the wedding due to budget reasons and fairness to all, i'm sorry
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  • Bat937Bat937
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would just say, "no, we're not having children at the wedding".
    If they text back (or when they text back) and say they aren't coming without him, just say, 'you'll be missed, we were hoping you'd be there to share our day"  Don't get into a text, phone call or face to face war of words over it.  And don't let anyone's parents try to change your minds.
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  • ssagessage member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with all pp.
    JUst tell them that kids are not invited. 
    i hate that people do this crap over texting. 
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  • MYLOVE315MYLOVE315 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    UPDATE....
    Well that's exactly what my FI did. He texted his brother back. He waited awhile until he calmed down. And said.... For many reasons we could not have children at our wedding. It was a hard decision to make but between all the friends we have and Lee having such a big family we had to make this difficult decsion. Lee's family understood completely and we hope you do too? Sorry and we hope you will find a way to make it to the wedding.

    The brother's text message back:
    How many godsons / nephews does she have? We will not go without him.

    Can you believe the audacity? To a degree I can. I feel her purposely set my FI up. He just wanted to pounce on him. I said to my FI he is so lucky I do not have his brother's cell number because my God when my FI forwarded the text to me I swear to God I think steam came out of my ears! His brother is so damn self absorbed and its a damn shame. I feel bad for my FI because he hardly has any family coming so not only is his mother sick and we don't know if she can make it....his only brother pulls this fast one on him.  I don't use the word hate a lot but boy oh boy I reeeeeeeeeeeally hate his brother!

    So there ya have it girls.  I'm 5 weeks away and I hope to God I have no more drama.  It makes me a little sad but I guess it's true when they say wedding and funerals brings out everyones true colors. What a shame huh?
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  • ReginaB13ReginaB13 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    That's truly sad, but... in the end, they'll be the ones missing out on a great and memorable part of your life.

    I'm sorry they weren't more understanding, but sometimes it just works out that way :(

    You will have an amazing and incredible day with or without them!

    Regina :)
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  • MYLOVE315MYLOVE315 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks Regina. Yep you're right it is pretty sad but we will move on and make sure we have a wonderful day regardless of his self absorbing brother!!!!
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  • ssagessage member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oh I'm so sorry.  You didn't even owe him an explanation IMO. 

    I say too bad for him!  He is going to miss out on a beautiful day, beautiful celebration of love and just fun.  He is acting like a child (again IMO) .  I know it is hard for your FI.  Tell him to keep his chin up because the wedding day is about YOU and HIM...no one else!!!
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  • Bat937Bat937
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    We had a couple like that. They spread the word through family that there was no way they'd be able to attend without their kids.  We just kept saying "it was too bad that they couldn't find a baby sitter for one night.. etc'.
    In the end, they came to the wedding without their kids.

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  • chrisnjay05212010chrisnjay05212010
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    oh i'm so sorry you have to deal with that and feel bad for your FI and his family situation. At the end of the day, the brother will be the one missing out. You guys will have a fabulous day regardless!
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  • TRICIA1313TRICIA1313 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    This happens so often. It's their loss. Don't give it another thought. You did the right thing! Enjoy your day!!
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