Etiquette Queens

coralee715 · November 2010

Dare I even ask? Oh I might as well..................

Is there anything wrong with having just a Mother/Son dance and not do a Father/Daughter dance too?

georgia_bride09 · November 2010

No. Why?

aleighk1 · November 2010

Nope. It's your year, do what you want.

tpender13 · November 2010

no

coralee715 · November 2010

Others have told me it wouldn't be right to do one and not the other. The reason for not doing the father/daughter dance is that my father passed away 11 years ago. It's not like he is alive and well and I am just refusing to dance with him.

Beachy730 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-queens?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:17cb1a18-e72d-449b-81d2-fdf0f9aaf109Post:3adae9cb-8b46-4e68-b1e2-879d78224c2f">Etiquette Queens</a>:
[QUOTE]Dare I even ask? Oh I might as well.................. Is there anything wrong with having just a Mother/Son dance and not do a Father/Daughter dance too?
Posted by coralee715[/QUOTE]

No. If your father is still living and in the picture some people might wonder why, but you are perfectly fine to leave out any dances you want.

emilyinchile · November 2010

Not at all, assuming there's no dad who's going to have hurt feelings over it. But in terms of how it will affect your guests, it's totally fine.

ETA: Sorry, your second post saying your dad passed away wasn't up yet when I started writing this. In that case, there's definitely no reason your FI and his mom shouldn't do a dance if they want to.

opalsky007 · November 2010

No, it's fine. I don't know your situation, so I don't know whether other folks might wonder what's up, but there's nothing outright wrong about it.

opalsky007 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-queens?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:17cb1a18-e72d-449b-81d2-fdf0f9aaf109Post:18c74841-66e2-475e-923c-07662961768d">Re: Etiquette Queens</a>:
[QUOTE]Others have told me it wouldn't be right to do one and not the other. The reason for not doing the father/daughter dance is that my father passed away 11 years ago. It's not like he is alive and well and I am just refusing to dance with him.
Posted by coralee715[/QUOTE]

Oh, you posted this while I was typing my response. Then I'm sure everyone is familiar with your situation, and no one would be surprised at all. It's just fine.

coralee715 · November 2010

Should it be replaced with another dance? Say...like with my brother or my sons?

aleighk1 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-queens?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:17cb1a18-e72d-449b-81d2-fdf0f9aaf109Post:05ca0031-f497-46ce-9753-273180400bbd">Re: Etiquette Queens</a>:
[QUOTE]Should it be replaced with another dance? Say...like with my brother or my sons?
Posted by coralee715[/QUOTE]

<div>You could if you'd feel comfortable with it. </div>

georgia_bride09 · November 2010

If you'd like to dance, then you can. But I would just do the M/S dance, and then once everyone else is dancing, dance with your sons.

That is, if your FI and his mom want to dance. They don't have to either if they don't want to.

emilyinchile · November 2010

Only if you want. But again, this is not something that really affects your guests unless you do like 10 dances that you make them sit through while they really just want to be enjoying themselves at your reception. Just a mother/son dance is fine.

waltzingmatilda13 · November 2010

The formal dances aren't* required. I'm so sorry about your dad, and I think people would understand why you didn't have one.

If you really wanted to you could certainly dance with another male in your family, but it's really whatever makes you most comfortable.

*Edited

mandysmear · November 2010

You rang????

No. There is nothing wrong with that.

::queen wave::

Beachy730 · November 2010

Ditto PPs. I also wrote my original response before you posted that your dad passed away. Some people choose to replace the dance with a brother or other important male figure in their life. Or you can just scrap the dance altogether.

Has your FI said that he wanted to do a mother/son dance still? I know my H would have jumped at the chance not to do it if I wasn't doing one.

georgia_bride09 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-queens?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:17cb1a18-e72d-449b-81d2-fdf0f9aaf109Post:247791c9-8e30-4039-8e3e-dfdc9bb29061">Re: Etiquette Queens</a>:
[QUOTE]You rang???? No. There is nothing wrong with that. ::queen wave::
Posted by mandysmear[/QUOTE]

Funniest thing I've seen today.

Mrs.B6302007 · November 2010

For Mandy:

Elbow, elbow
Wrist, wrist,
Touch your pearls
Then switch.

Coralee:
I ditto Matilda.

coralee715 · November 2010

He would probably like to get out of doing the dance. BUT he is the baby of 6 kids. He was born when his other brothers & sisters were 10-18 years old. He is now 35 and she is very happy that "her baby" is getting married. She can't wait to have that dance with her son.

I do not want to make the guests sit through a bunch of boring....watch me dance....dances! I want everyone to have fun.

Mrs.B6302007 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-queens?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:17cb1a18-e72d-449b-81d2-fdf0f9aaf109Post:fcb3bac8-36e5-4435-8356-63bc2e6f9346">Re: Etiquette Queens</a>:
[QUOTE]He would probably like to get out of doing the dance. BUT he is the baby of 6 kids. He was born when his other brothers & sisters were 10-18 years old. He is now 35 and she is very happy that "her baby" is getting married. She can't wait to have that dance with her son. I do not want to make the guests sit through a bunch of boring....watch me dance....dances! I want everyone to have fun.
Posted by coralee715[/QUOTE]

Ugh. I grow weary of too many AW dances, as well. Good for you for keeping them minimal.

Beachy730 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-queens?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:17cb1a18-e72d-449b-81d2-fdf0f9aaf109Post:fcb3bac8-36e5-4435-8356-63bc2e6f9346">Re: Etiquette Queens</a>:
[QUOTE]He would probably like to get out of doing the dance. BUT he is the baby of 6 kids. He was born when his other brothers & sisters were 10-18 years old. He is now 35 and she is very happy that "her baby" is getting married. She can't wait to have that dance with her son. I do not want to make the guests sit through a bunch of boring....watch me dance....dances! I want everyone to have fun.
Posted by coralee715[/QUOTE]

Understandable. A good dance to cut is the WP dance, if you were planning on having one.

You could definitely do just the mother/son, you could do one wear you dance with someone important to you, or you could do them both at the same time.

georgia_bride09 · November 2010

If your FMIL really wants to dance, I say do the M/S dance, then open the floor for everyone else.

ElleestJenn · November 2010

A friend of mine who just got married didn't do a father/daughter dance. Her father for the most part hasn't been in her life, last I heard he was in the middle east somewhere, and I don't even know if she invited him to the wedding or if she did and he declined. So for obvious reasons they skipped that dance. However her H did a mother/son dance and the my friend and her FIL joined in with them for the last part.

If you have a brother that you are close with and want to dance with go for it or if you have a son.

mandysmear · November 2010

::sips tea and nibbles crumpets::

I think it would be perfectly acceptable to just skip it. But if you want to dance with your bro or sons during your FIs dance that would be okay too.

coralee715 · November 2010

Thank you everyone!

TTiger03 · November 2010

I like ElleestJenn's idea if you are close to your FIL.

Personally, I don't care for just one couple dancing except the first dance. My sister and dad danced and my BIL and his mom joined about a minute in. I'm planning on something similar for my wedding. Groom and his mom still get that special dance, but you can also dance with someone special to you and not have it drag on and on and on.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-queens?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:17cb1a18-e72d-449b-81d2-fdf0f9aaf109Post:18c74841-66e2-475e-923c-07662961768d">Re: Etiquette Queens</a>:
[QUOTE]Others have told me it wouldn't be right to do one and not the other. The reason for not doing the father/daughter dance is that my father passed away 11 years ago. It's not like he is alive and well and I am just refusing to dance with him.
Posted by coralee715[/QUOTE]

Well, then you literally can't do a father/daughter dance. But it wouldn't be fair to keep your husband from having a dance with his mom if he would like that.

coralee715 · November 2010

FIL has passed away too

We both lost our dads 11 years ago. Actually his dad passed away on May 10, 1999 and that was the same day my dad went into ICU, but my dad didn't pass until Aug 28, 1999, (long 3.5 months in ICU)

smokeybailey · November 2010

I am hoping for a brother/sister dance. Is that okay?

tidetravel · November 2010

FYI - in the future, perhaps you shouldn't call everyone on the board catty-ass bitches before asking questions of them.

coralee715 · November 2010

Well, I still saw no need for everyone to jump in my crap for my original post, and to have a separate thread mocking me.

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