I don't want my FSIL in MY bridal party.

heinz11msw · February 2011

Tell them she is not standing up. You didn't get the hint from all of our responses? I told you to only ask who you love.

PantsDance · February 2011

Just what does your mom have to do all over again?

Plan and pay for a wedding

Athsea · February 2011

Your wedding won't be valid if she happens to have a few of the same ideas you do! Oh noes!

Seriously, there are thousands of weddings every year. Do you really think everything you plan on doing is so original no one will ever think of it evaaaar?

aerinpegadrak · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_dont-want-fsil-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:bb2d8f32-3477-4627-aef1-4011d8d1d450Post:3e6c59df-58ca-4768-bb1b-1ccc74533dc6">Re: I don't want my FSIL in MY bridal party.</a>:
[QUOTE]Just what does your mom have to do all over again? Plan and pay for a wedding
Posted by PantsDance[/QUOTE]
Except she doesn't have to do that for either of you. The only people obligated to plan and pay for a wedding are the bride and groom. If she wishes to help you both, she'll figure it out.

heinz11msw · February 2011

Well little miss queen-beeee... I guess you may not have your wedding completely paid for then?

Booooo hoooo

What a rough life!

PantsDance · February 2011

So when people ask why she isn't in the bridal party I tell them "I already choose my bridal party" if they ask why she wasn't choosen can I say "I choose my friends, and there wasn't enough room for her." or should I say "I don't feel close to her"

heinz11msw · February 2011

not enough room is just stupid and rude.

Are you that socially akward? All you need to say is that you aren't close to her. Who the heck cares. Why is this so complicated for you?

Cynthia1207 · February 2011

You don't have to give anyone a reason for who is in your bridal party. It would be rude for them to ask anyway.

SirJuliusVonHaast · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_dont-want-fsil-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:bb2d8f32-3477-4627-aef1-4011d8d1d450Post:65328bcc-ef4e-4775-9b14-06396cd20483">Re: I don't want my FSIL in MY bridal party.</a>:
[QUOTE]then how are you sure that she will steal ideas? She already has, I was telling my mom that I want my bridesmaids to carry pomanders and girlfrien said "I was thinking of doing something like that too"
Posted by PantsDance[/QUOTE]

<div>In that case it sounds like she had the idea first and you stole it. In any case, what does it matter if you both carry them? At the end of the day you will still be married. I'm not trying to be mean either, but I do think you should consider talking to someone (professional) about these feelings.</div>

heinz11msw · February 2011

Oy Vey! My heard hurts lol

hlq2011 · February 2011

You don't have to give a reason. And the chances are slim that people will ask.

And your mom doesn't have to plan and pay for anything. If she offers you, or him, money, that's great. But you plan your own wedding and he will plan his.

That's what mature adults do.

Except, you are neither.

PantsDance · February 2011

Ok if someone ask's I won't respond.

Thanks.

impslave · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_dont-want-fsil-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:bb2d8f32-3477-4627-aef1-4011d8d1d450Post:3e6c59df-58ca-4768-bb1b-1ccc74533dc6">Re: I don't want my FSIL in MY bridal party.</a>:
[QUOTE]Just what does your mom have to do all over again? Plan and pay for a wedding
Posted by PantsDance[/QUOTE]

You're 31 and you're expecting your mom to plan and pay for your wedding?

*headdesk*

Look, kiddo. Plan your own wedding and pay for it yourself. If anyone should ask if your FSIL is going to be in your wedding party, then say "No, I'm keeping it to close friends."

And for the sake of us all, don't get knocked up on your wedding night. You have some serious maturing to do before you should even consider becoming a parent.

heinz11msw · February 2011

impslave ohhh my the "headdesk" thing just made my day.

bAEbling · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_dont-want-fsil-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:bb2d8f32-3477-4627-aef1-4011d8d1d450Post:ef1e36a0-0094-4435-adae-5dbb558ee8c0">Re: I don't want my FSIL in MY bridal party.</a>:
[QUOTE]I haven't gotten any adivce. I asked what should I do when people ask me about FSIL being in the bridal party and no one answered me.
Posted by PantsDance[/QUOTE]
Here you go: Grow the fuuck up. You're welcome.

heinz11msw · February 2011

It seems she has some terrible insecurities that may have been started by her past. Hunny, you need to see counseling. I really hope you get better before you have a child.

SirJuliusVonHaast · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_dont-want-fsil-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:bb2d8f32-3477-4627-aef1-4011d8d1d450Post:01925912-62b8-4d47-8964-5bd1bb0a66a8">Re: I don't want my FSIL in MY bridal party.</a>:
[QUOTE]It seems she has some terrible insecurities that may have been started by her past. Hunny, you need to see counseling. I really hope you get better before you have a child.
Posted by heinz11msw[/QUOTE]

<div>Totally. I mean, I'm excited for my wedding and really happy about it, but if somehow by magic I was instantly married with no wedding and everyone else around me was having super awesome fancy pretty princess days, I would still be happy with my life and to be with the person I love, you know? I think she's depending on this day of happy perfection and tons of attention to get something she should be able to get out of her regular life. </div>

heinz11msw · February 2011

you are right, sir. It's crazy how at 31, she's expecting parents to pay for a wedding AND getting MAD about her brothers happiness. Sooo sad..

ootmother2 · February 2011

Don't you feel sorry for our FIs?

heinz11msw · February 2011

haha.... that will turn any man, gay.

SirJuliusVonHaast · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_dont-want-fsil-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:bb2d8f32-3477-4627-aef1-4011d8d1d450Post:c490c79f-8586-4f05-82eb-579dd2ab5b90">Re: I don't want my FSIL in MY bridal party.</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't you feel sorry for our FIs?
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes, no one will ever love you mean old hags because you don't understand how special MY day is. </div><div>
</div><div>(because I know you really want to hear it today :) )</div>

leia1979 · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_dont-want-fsil-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:bb2d8f32-3477-4627-aef1-4011d8d1d450Post:3e6c59df-58ca-4768-bb1b-1ccc74533dc6">Re: I don't want my FSIL in MY bridal party.</a>:
[QUOTE]Just what does your mom have to do all over again? Plan and pay for a wedding
Posted by PantsDance[/QUOTE]

If you're 31 and your brother is 27, you should both be capable of planning and paying for your own weddings, especially since you have your respective fiance/es to help. Your mom just has to show up. I can't imagine that's a problem.

heinz11msw · February 2011

ME ME ME ME ME ME!!!!!!!!!!

THATS THE WAY IT SHOULD BEEE

I need motrin..

GoodLuckBear14 · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_dont-want-fsil-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:bb2d8f32-3477-4627-aef1-4011d8d1d450Post:e55c027d-ade6-4301-81aa-d297f5292d9f">Re: I don't want my FSIL in MY bridal party.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I don't want my FSIL in MY bridal party. : Here you go: Grow the fuuck up. You're welcome.
Posted by bAEbling[/QUOTE]

::STANDING OVATION::
::CLAPPING::

vinnyv11 · February 2011

My younger sister did get engaged during my engagement. Hell she got married too! She got engaged to her boyfriend of 1 year when they came down to the beach for a few days during my and FI's vacation(they were staying with us). FI and I were together 10 1/2 years before we got engaged, and will be together 12 years the day we get married. My sister who is 4 years younger, dated her husband for a year, got engaged, and got married a month later. They got married at the courthouse and had a nice little reception at home afterwards. That's what she wanted.

My FI and I are having a the "big wedding", cuz that's what we wanted.

While I will admit I was furious at first, because I felt like she was trying to steal my thunder, after a day or two, I realized that I just wanted her to be happy. Looking back I regret that I wasn't as happy for her as I should have been when she got engaged.

But I came around before she got married, through her a shower/bachelorette party, and helped her with as much as I could. I made sure that I made her day as special as I could make it. We each just get ONE day. And who knows, maybe you will find a planning buddy in your FSIL.

trix1223 · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_dont-want-fsil-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:bb2d8f32-3477-4627-aef1-4011d8d1d450Post:ef1e36a0-0094-4435-adae-5dbb558ee8c0">Re: I don't want my FSIL in MY bridal party.</a>:
[QUOTE]I haven't gotten any adivce. I asked what should I do when people ask me about FSIL being in the bridal party and no one answered me.
Posted by PantsDance[/QUOTE]

"My FSIL is not in MY WP because I'm too much of a freakin' baby to take a chance that I won't be the center of attention at MY wedding."

zitiqueen · February 2011

I hope no family members of you, your FI or your bridal party have the audacity to die within six months of YOUR wedding.

calindi · February 2011

I actively WANT my younger brother to get engaged after me. In fact, I would REALLY like is for my brother and his girlfriend to get married on the exact same day as me. Yep, that's right - I really actively want a double wedding (gasp). I don't like the expensive a wedding, my brother's and my guests would be pretty similar, so we could just have one really big awesome party!

It's not going to happen, and I don't mind. I really am just simply happy for him that he's simply with someone he loves and cares about who is so totally awesome that I cannot wait until the day I can call her my sister. And you know how I know she's totally awesome? Because I've spent a considerable amount of time getting to know her and becoming her friend.

And like someone else said, if I woke up tomorrow and was told, "Quick! Get into this ugly gown because we're taking you to the county dump to get married!" I'd do it if it meant being married to my guy. I've even had wedding nightmares where everything is really horrible, like I had to wear a bedsheet as a dress, and even in my dream I was going, "Whatever. This sucks, but as long as I get him..." I don't need the big horse and pony show - I just need him. That's something for you to think about. Are pompadours worth ruining your relationship with your brother and his future wife? Are they going to make your marriage any better?

marleylikeair · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_dont-want-fsil-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:bb2d8f32-3477-4627-aef1-4011d8d1d450Post:cb6059fb-8749-4397-a5a9-4a42ac988856">Re: I don't want my FSIL in MY bridal party.</a>:
[QUOTE]I actively WANT my younger brother to get engaged after me. In fact, I would REALLY like is for my brother and his girlfriend to get married on the exact same day as me. Yep, that's right - I really actively want a double wedding (gasp). I don't like the expensive a wedding, my brother's and my guests would be pretty similar, so we could just have one really big awesome party! It's not going to happen, and I don't mind. I really am just simply happy for him that he's simply with someone he loves and cares about who is so totally awesome that I cannot wait until the day I can call her my sister. And you know how I know she's totally awesome? Because I've spent a considerable amount of time getting to know her and becoming her friend. And like someone else said, if I woke up tomorrow and was told, "Quick! Get into this ugly gown because we're taking you to the county dump to get married!" I'd do it if it meant being married to my guy. I've even had wedding nightmares where everything is really horrible, like I had to wear a bedsheet as a dress, and even in my dream I was going, "Whatever. This sucks, but as long as I get him..." I don't need the big horse and pony show - I just need him. That's something for you to think about. Are pompadours worth ruining your relationship with your brother and his future wife? Are they going to make your marriage any better?
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

::applause::

andrea2473 · February 2011

If I were you, I'd elope. This would solve many problems.

There would be no wedding party
There would be no ideas to steal
It wouldn't cost anything
If he has good insurance, it will be more affordable for you to get that counseling that you so desperately need.
You can hurry up and start having babies because apparently, that's the only reason to get married.
Oh, and another reason:
You can get married before your fiance figures out that you are Out Of Your Mind Crazy.
You might get a lot of attention for eloping too...

Side note: One of my BF's got engaged on the same day as me and I cried. Because I was so freaking happy for all of us. Get it together.

I don't want my FSIL in MY bridal party.

Re: I don't want my FSIL in MY bridal party.

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