need advice dry wedding

chrissyspi21 · February 2012

My fiance and myself are having a dry wedding for personal reasons and we are recieving a lot of negative feedback from my parents.....who are paying for the wedding. How can I ask them to respect my wishes without being ungrateful?

sparkles776 · February 2012

Unfortunately, if your parents are footing the bill, they should have some say in the matter. You can ask them to respect your wishes, or you can try to compromise. Maybe at least do a champagne toast or something.

RebeccaB88 · February 2012

Decline their funds and pay for the wedding yourself. Or compromise on this one thing with them and let them serve beer and wine, or a couple of signature cocktails.

tortaweeni · February 2012

Since your parents are paying for the wedding they get some say in the matter. I talk with your fiance and decied how big of a deal it is to have a alcohol at your wedding. Jus because it is there does not mean you have to drink it. If you two decied it is a big deal to have a dry wedding then talk with your parents and tell them how you feel. If they insist on haveing alcohol then just ask the if they are okay with only having a champagene toast. It seems like a fair compromise to me. But remeber if you dont have to drink it if it is there. Please let me know if you need any more help or have any more questions. I am a new Wedding and event Planner and would love to help. You can find me at CelebraTory Events on Facebook or email me at toryostic@hotmail.com.
Good luck!

emarston1 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_need-advice-dry-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:bc74773f-4ec0-4a8b-a5e5-11c02ca18ecePost:ce95120b-ed2c-4cd6-8d0a-84550cbdb129">Re: need advice dry wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Since your parents are paying for the wedding they get some say in the matter. I talk with your fiance and decied how big of a deal it is to have a alcohol at your wedding. Jus because it is there does not mean you have to drink it. If you two decied it is a big deal to have a dry wedding then talk with your parents and tell them how you feel. If they insist on haveing alcohol then just ask the if they are okay with only having a champagene toast. It seems like a fair compromise to me. But remeber if you dont have to drink it if it is there. Please let me know if you need any more help or have any more questions. I am a new Wedding and event Planner and would love to help. You can find me at **name removed** on Facebook or email me at **emailed removed**. Good luck!
Posted by tortaweeni[/QUOTE]
Vendors are not allowed to post on the boards. You've been reported for promoting your own business.

LetsHikeToday · February 2012

Honestly, of your parents are paying and they would like there to be alcohol, then I think they should be able to provide it. Why don't you guys want to have alcohol?

zitiqueen · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_need-advice-dry-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:bc74773f-4ec0-4a8b-a5e5-11c02ca18ecePost:134a21af-29e9-4dee-9558-baa23c99082e">need advice dry wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and myself are having a dry wedding for personal reasons and we are recieving a lot of negative feedback from my parents.....who are paying for the wedding. <strong>How can I ask them to respect my wishes without being ungrateful?
</strong>Posted by chrissyspi21[/QUOTE]

You can't. You can, however, pay for your own wedding. Then you get to call all the shots.

MyNameIsNot · February 2012

If they are paying, this is their decision. If a dry wedding is that important to you, you'll need to decline their money and pay for it yourself.

ElleB87 · February 2012

I do agree with PP's that if your parents are paying it's their decision. If alcohol makes you and your FI uncomfortable you can suggest serving just beer and wine or a signature drink like Rebecca said and explain to your parents your reasons for not wanting any alcohol at all but if you're not contributing financially you're really just along for the ride.

NcsuPsych · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_need-advice-dry-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:bc74773f-4ec0-4a8b-a5e5-11c02ca18ecePost:01a9d2aa-eb64-4879-aeb1-c0076dc83762">Re: need advice dry wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: need advice dry wedding : Stop talking to your guests about their preference for it being there or not being there. It's not up to them. Your parents obviously see providing alcohol as the proper thing for them to do as hosts. You don't have the drink the alcohol. The guests who don't want to don't have to drink. Since you can't afford to pay for things on your own right now, you need to make the decision on accepting the wedding reception your parents wish to host, or postponing the wedding and saving money to pay for it on your own.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

Agreed. I personally would find it rude if a guest of mine told me they weren't excited about our reception (or anything along those lines) simply because the host of the wedding wanted drinks. If its only a minority of people drinking, I honestly don't see what the huge deal is, especially since your parents are footing the bill.

Either compromise with your parents, or pay for your own wedding.

zitiqueen · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_need-advice-dry-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:bc74773f-4ec0-4a8b-a5e5-11c02ca18ecePost:d8d6686e-8333-44f2-9871-d594e08deeea">Re: need advice dry wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]thank you for all of the advice, I don't want to create a huge fuss and I am unable to pay for the reception myself. The majority of the addendants would rather there be no alchol, and even some that do have stated that they would respect my wish of choosing not to have it. However my parents are not budging and I'm starting to be made out the bad guy. hopefully it all works itself out :/
Posted by chrissyspi21[/QUOTE]

I can't believe you're tattling to your guests about this. This is exactly none of their business.

Rachel405 · February 2012

My fiance and I both don't drink, and we're paying for the wedding ourselves so we have decided not to provide alcohol. Also, it's a Sunday afternoon so kind of different than a Saturday night party IMHO. But, our venue has a cash bar so if people really, really want to drink that bad they can go get it themselves. Not in love with the idea of a cash bar, but also not in love with the idea of paying for the alcohol I'm not even going to drink.

If your parents are paying for the wedding then I would do everything you can to appease them, even if it means making compromises. I would LOVE to have parents helping, but that's just not my situation. Good luck.

need advice dry wedding

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