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Taking MIL Advice into Consideration...?

ladygingersnapsladygingersnaps member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Moms and Maids
We have all heard the cliche mother-in-law scenario.  Tbh I actually get along with my future MIL quite well, except in certain situations when it comes to my wedding.

She thinks I'm being absolutely ridiculous for not wanting the Bachelor/Bachelorette parties the night before the wedding.

I'm sorry, but am I wrong for thinking I'd be too keyed up the night before to enjoy it, as well as not wanting to be hung over at the wedding on the most important day of my life?  And what do I say to her that's not going to splinter our generally good relationship?

(Sorry if this is in the wrong forums. I'm new. :] )

I messed up the poll and don't know how to take it down- oops!
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Re: Taking MIL Advice into Consideration...?

  • calliopeia2013calliopeia2013 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Say, "Thanks for your opinion, but I think an earlier party will work much better for me."  Then change the subject  (or just say "It's under control" without offering any details) if she brings it up again.  Seriously, she's not hosting it, is she?  I don't see how it's even any of her business when your b-party is.

    FWIW, I would NEVER want to have a b-party the night before the wedding.  Yeesh.  Too much stress, too much risk of being hung over, as you said.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
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    I would hate to have a bachelorette the night before. My night before plan, frankly, is to be in my PJs by 8pm and watch one of my favorite movies (we have an afternoon rehearsal planned, late lunch sort of thing),  My girls have asked my opinion about when I'd want my bachelorette and I said I'd prefer to have it three nights before the wedding, so no one's too tired/hungover/crappy feeling for the rehearsal, even.

    I'd just tell FMIL that you plan on going to bed early the night before to be rested for the day of activites. Then ask her about her dress/beauty plans/morning of schedule and change that topic :)
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  • ladygingersnapsladygingersnaps member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Thanks ladies. :]

    I feel like nothing I say is really going to deter her.  She's really a sweetheart, but she does like to meddle, haha.  I think part of it might be that she had all boys and never really got to do the "girly" thing.  I don't know.

    Thanks for the advice!
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  • laurencorbettlaurencorbett
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    You could always tell her that your girls are planning it, and they chose to do it the week/month/whenever before!   Tell her you had no choice in the matter
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  • vanityinkvanityink member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I'm completely on board with you. I plan on watching a silly movie and going to bed early night before my wedding. Otherwise I'll never make it through the next night! My future brother-in-law did his bachelor party the night before the wedding and looks EXHAUSTED in all the wedding pictures. Not what I'm going for at least!

    My bachelorette party is actually going to be the weekend before my wedding I believe (though it's the MOH planning it of course, so I'm apparently not allowed to know much until then :) )
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  • ladygingersnapsladygingersnaps member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_overbearing-mil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:7c88505e-5f15-4b34-808d-f339e53d2729Post:0d6d6626-d824-4aea-b557-4ef782f6294c">Re: Taking MIL Advice into Consideration...?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm completely on board with you. I plan on watching a silly movie and going to bed early night before my wedding. Otherwise I'll never make it through the next night! My future brother-in-law did his bachelor party the night before the wedding and looks EXHAUSTED in all the wedding pictures. Not what I'm going for at least! My bachelorette party is actually going to be the weekend before my wedding I believe (though it's the MOH planning it of course, so I'm apparently not allowed to know much until then :) )
    Posted by jessicadall[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.  I mean, photography alone is pretty expensive, and to look wiped out in all of them... it just seems silly to risk it for the sake of "oh, it's funny/tradition to do it your 'last night single.'"</div><div>
    </div><div>I'm going to not-so-subtly hint that I'd like to do it the weekend before, as well.  Works just as well for me!</div>
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  • pink34562000pink34562000 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    My MIL is a very sweet lady too, and she would tell us her opinions all of the time based on traditions. My husband and I were non-traditional and threw a non-traditional wedding. In the end, my MIL had a great time and told us that so many of her friends and family had fun times.

    I understand your situation. However if you don't want your bachorette party the night before, you can tell your bms to have it another weekend.

    If your FMIL wouldn't change the subject, you can always distract her. "How about that new show on TV? Wow, this chicken is delicious. How did you make it?"
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  • theelusive1theelusive1
    First Comment
    no party the night before your wedding, you will be doing the rehersal that night. I would say two weeks before at least.  My x went to dinner with his uncle and two friends the night before.  Yeah you guessed it.  3 am drunk and barfing.  I should have stuck to my guns and not married him.
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  • s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    I think at least a few nights in advance would be best; you want to enjoy the day you're shelling all that money out for! I think If you/FI goes out with a responsible midset- a few glasses of wine and a nice dinner  and save the hard partying for a week+ before its fine. Fi and I already made 2 rules for b-parties (well I did): 1) not the night before  2) no stripper-grams
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