My aunt, along with some other members of my family, are hosting a shower for me. I'm so grateful she has offered to do this, as I thought I wasn't going to get a shower period. I live out of state, and my MOH hasn't mentioned anything other than b-party. The problem is, she wants to invite women to the shower that aren't invited to the wedding. I explained delicately to her that this would be considered improper etiquette, but she insists that it would be fine, and that it happens all the time in our family.
I still don't feel right about it, regardless of how my family usually does things. I feel like it is rude, end of story. Unfortunately though, my aunt can be a bit of a control freak. You tell her that she is wrong, and you're ungrateful. If I refuse the shower, it would damage our relationship. Yes, she is that sensitive, and likes for things to be her way, all the time. Damaging my relationship with her would also mess things up with my grandparents. I don't want that.
Either way, I can only give her the list of guests that I definitely want there. If she adds these other women that aren't invited to the wedding, well that's her choice and I can't control that. In the end, she would look like the rude one. I don't know what else to do, except let her do what she wants. I would never see or talk to most of these people again; they're distant family members that I've met once or twice.
Is there a better way to handle this?
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