Another apartment question (WWYD?)

baystateapple · May 2012

Okay, so I'm moving out of my current apartment. Three weeks ago I put a deposit down on a place in town, not ideal, but still a pretty nice apartment. $765 a month. I didn't sign the lease, that was supposed to be on Friday. It would be a year lease, which sort of worried me, because I felt like I was making a hasty decision, but at the same time, with us entering a trial separation, I figured it was best to just get out of the apartment I'm in now, and worry about the rest later.

As I wrote this morning, my grandfather passed away suddenly yesterday. While my aunts and uncles and mom were going through his house today, they decided to ask if I wanted to stay there. It's about four miles from where I live now, still in town, a four bedroom house, and they want to charge me $500 a month, plus utilities, to stay there. No lease, if I stay there a week and decide I want to go somewhere else, I can leave. My aunt (the executrix of his will) would be my landlord. The only downside of taking this option would be losing the $750 deposit, and the fact that it's a pretty decent sized house and might get a little lonely sometimes.

I'm nervous either way because, like I said, I have a week to decide and that week is going to be very busy with the funeral and wake and all that. If you were in my position, what would you do? I think I know what I want to do, but I still value everyone's input, and maybe someone will notice something that I'm missing.

TIA. This may be a post and run because I have company and don't know how often I'll be able to check in.

andrea2473 · May 2012

Well, what you lose with your deposit, you'll make up for in a matter of months with lower rent. H and I just kind of dealt with that situation.

As far as the extra space, that's kind of up to you. If you take money out of it, which one do you genuinely like better? Would it be comforting because it was your grandfather's house which might make the extra space seem not so lonely? Or would it make you sad?

laurenclaire1386 · May 2012

You'd make the money you lost on the deposit back in like 3 months. I'd live in the house. I think that's mostly a personal preference of mine, though. I always prefer a house to an apartment.

pokepoke27 · May 2012

If I were in your shoes, I would take the advantages of living in a house rented at a lower rate over the apartment. I would lose the deposit - I'm sure your Aunt will understand if that makes it difficult to make your first months rent or something.

However, I don't know all the specifics of your situation. I think the size of the house would not make me any less lonely - IIRC the apartment was fairly large, yes? Either way, in my mind alone is alone - no matter the surrounding space. You could feel differently.

There are people that are difficult to deal with. Is your Aunt one of these people? I was given an opportunity to move out of my house and live in a small one bedroom converted barn for $400 per month including utilites. However, I chose to decline it because I know that there would be issues between myself adn the landlady. She is a meddlesome person and would have used the fact that I was staying there at such a good price to force herself on me all of the time. Also keep in mind that renting from family can be difficult, should any difficulties arise.

strlzfan11 · May 2012

If my family had offered my grandmother's house as a rental as an option after her second husband died (she died first, but gave him the right to live there as long as he needed a home) I would've jumped on that no questions asked.

You'll make up the difference in the deposit in the first few months, but if you're really concerned about the $$ I'd call all the utility companies and inquire as to how much they will be to see whether or not it's really a good investment.

I forget, does the other place include all utilities?

ErinG93 · May 2012

I would take a house over an apartment with cheaper rent any day! I think it would also be fun to live in my grandfather's old house. Do it!

StephBeanWed61502 · May 2012

Bay, I feel like I'm leaning towards house for you just because, if it doesn't work out, you can leave with minimal notice, but if for some reason the apartment doesn't work out, you're stuck there until the lease runs out (or stuck making some kind of hefty "get out of my lease early" payment).

AdeleDazeem · May 2012

I'm not reading anyone else's post before writing this.

I would move into the apartment. I worry that moving into your grandfather's house is going to be uber depressing. He died. People are going to be coming to clean things out or you will be enlisted to do so. Around every curve will be a memory that he isn't there anymore.

I'd move into a fresh place; one with no bad memories and just a future for you to see and make real.

PetalPockets2012 · May 2012

I think that it is good to save money if possible and like PPs said, you will make back your deposit in a few months.

I preferred apartments when I was living by myself. I liked not having to get the apartment sprayed for bugs, fix broken things, do yard work, etc. I also liked not being completely isolated and felt safer in an apartment complex. Would your aunt also be responsible for upkeep like yard work or would that fall on you? What if an appliance breaks down? Is your aunt going to cover that?

Those are some of the questions I would want to make sure I had the answers to before the house.

lyndausvi · May 2012

Do you like the house?

If I liked the house and the neighborhood I would take it. It sucks to be out the deposit, but you will make up for it in rent.

baystateapple · May 2012

I still have a lot of questions about it myself -- I'm meeting with my mom tomorrow afternoon to talk about it.

The thing about the lease was the big hook for me. I asked the landlord of the apartment if he would consider a six month lease, with an option to renew in December, and he refused. I do worry that being alone in my grandfather's house would be difficult -- not even so much because he just died, because I didn't spend a lot of time up there after my grandmother's death because he was a much more private person who liked his solitude, and preferred to come visit at my parents' house rather than have guests. But I do worry about the size and being by myself.

The thing about losing the deposit is more a ugh, that's a lot of money to just kiss goodbye. But as PP said, I'd make it back after a few months of paying a much lower rent. I don't know what the utilities would cost, I have to talk to my mom about that tomorrow.

ootmother2 · May 2012

It looks good to me but what are the heating costs? That would be my only question on a 4 br house

mica178 · May 2012

Other than heating and cooling costs, I think it makes more sense to be in the house. I have lived alone in a large house before, and I just don't use the extra space. With pets, you won't feel any more lonely than you would in an apartment.

lyndausvi · May 2012

12 x 765 = 9180 + 750 dep = 9930

12 x 500 = 6,000

savings = 3930

You will be saving a lot more taking the house even with the lost deposit.

Definitely check out the utilities . Not sure if the other place includes or not.

ETA - had the rent wrong

Birdie1483 · May 2012

Welp, with the death of my aunt, this situation popped up for me. I'm living in her house now after we cleared out ALL of her stuff, put in new carpet and painted some walls. The house is bigger and while I get lonely sometimes, I actually like the space. It's just nicer having more room to walk around.

So, if the house is in decent shape and isn't full of his stuff, then I'd say live there. If you'd be living in an older house with older carpet, etc and all of his stuff, then I would have to think about it.

Birdie1483 · May 2012

Also, as far as living in her house and being depressed goes, it's actually been kind of theraputic. We've rearranged a bit of furntire so things aren't ENTIRELY the same, but it's kind of comforting cleaning stuff up and beginning to remember when she was in good health and not bad health at the end that resulted in the conditions of the house.

But, this could be different for everyone. Every once in awhile I"ll look at something and remember she died, but for the most part it hasn't been as deperessing as I thought it would. She lived in this house since '92, so it's fairly comforting to me to be here while I start my new live in Evansville without my husband. I don't deal with change very well, so it's nice having a little stability.

baystateapple · May 2012

It's a 1960's house, needs some upkeep but the family is going to be paying for/doing that because they're planning on selling it eventually. I would have to ask about the cost of utilities and who would take care of the yard (me or someone else). As for the neighborhood, it's very good -- the house is on a dead-end street in a rural area, and while I don't know the neighbors personally, they are all nice older couples that have known my mom and family for years. My aunt (the landlord) is my godmother and favorite aunt; she's not the sot of person who would horn in on my personal life, etc.

As for the furniture, most of his is being divided among the family members, so most of the furniture in there would be mine. Before he died, my mothe had told my grandpa about the separation and he had offered me his table and chairs, so I know I would have been taking those.

I admit that I am a little nervous about living in the house by myself (more because I've never lived by myself at all) and I don't know about the utilities.

Birdie1483 · May 2012

I was nervous about living here by myself too. I hadn't lived by myself in 4 years and when I did it was in a second story apartment. I ended up putting night lights in basically every nook and cranny of the house so I don't get creeped out when I get up to pee at night.

baystateapple · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-apartment-question-wwyd?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:199b7b0b-8fe8-4ee2-9a12-75e8d852a081Post:b218c290-79c3-4fd4-bb87-89beaa7d88bb">Re: Another apartment question (WWYD?)</a>:
[QUOTE]I was nervous about living here by myself too. I hadn't lived by myself in 4 years and when I did it was in a second story apartment. I ended up putting night lights in basically every nook and cranny of the house so I don't get creeped out when I get up to pee at night.
Posted by Birdie1483[/QUOTE]
The house is two floors, one bathroom (on the first floor) -- I cannot believe that my grandparents had 10 kids in a house with one bathroom -- and I probably wouldn't even use the second floor if I moved in there.

MoonlightSilver · May 2012

I'm currently living in the huge apartment my grandmother owned and even passed away in. I do get a little bit lonely when I'm home alone at night, but I usually just hug my cats when I feel that way. Its much better in the long run to have the flexibility to move when you want, and cheaper rent.

Birdie1483 · May 2012

Having Ozzie actually really helps my "loneliness". Would you ever consider getting a cat?

Birdie1483 · May 2012

Moonlight, my grandpa died in the hallway of this house. Sometimes I get creeped out at night when I go to the bathroom, afraid I"ll see his ghost.

But I would hope my aunt and grandpa would understand how much I would NOT appreciate it if they pulled a stunt like that.

lyndausvi · May 2012

My parents moved to England and then Norway when I was in my 20's. I moved into their huge 6 bedroom house (it was not the home I grew up in). They themselves had only lived there less than a year before the move. It was weird at first, but like everything I got use to it with time. I wish I had a pet, that would have made it a little better.

That was around the time I started need to fall asleep to the TV. I needed the white noise or I would hear the house creaking.

adamar15 · May 2012

Bay, if it was me I would take the house. The savings on rent and the freedom to move out at any time are a major plus. Also, I assume the house has a yard? You can have fire spinning gatherings in a yard

Definitely check out the utilities like everyone else said, though. I have an older house, and I'm sure it's a little more expensive to cool/heat since it's so old.

whitsy · May 2012

I would always choose a house over an apartment! Especially if it's a good neighborhood and you weren't all the way out in the boondocks by yourself; that I would be creeped out by. But cheaper rent? No noisy bottom/top neighbors? Close to work? Sounds like a sweet deal. You can check with the electric and water departments to get an idea of what the average bill is (at least you can in the places we've lived).

baystateapple · May 2012

Birdie -- we have three cats and a guinea pig right now. One of those cats is definitely coming with me, as is the guinea pig. One of the other cats was mine before we married, but I'm torn between whether it is best to take her, since she is so attached to H's cat. Also, we're separating with hope of reconciling and intent to continue counseling, so I don't know if I want to separate the cats right now. It's up in the air.

Adamar -- I will admit that the yard for firespinning (and house far enough outside town where cops won't drive by to investigate "kids swinging torches -- like what happened at my friend's house) was a definite perk.

ski2play · May 2012

Bay, as Eagles said, go with your gut. The only thing that bothered me when I lived alone (with my kids/but they were with their dad 50% of the time) was the yard work and maintenance on the house. Because I owned the house I had to do or contract to have done all of the things I couldn't do.

With that being said, I would take the house, the privacy of the house location, more room for your animals, and the price savings would certainly be big incentives.

Birdie1483 · May 2012

I guess I haven't worried about yard work yet because my aunt had a yard service coming every week to mow and weed and my mom has contiued to pay for it. She told me she'd pay for it until H moved here to help me. Woot!

MyUserName1 · May 2012

I would take the house assuming the utilities were under 250 a month. The flexibility of being able to move out anytime is a huge, huge plus in my opinion. Plus the fact that over the course of a year, you'd save money.

Loopyseven · May 2012

Another post in the pro-house column. As long as your mom (who I know can be difficult, right?) wouldn't hold it over your head. I know you said your cool aunt would be your landlord, but would your mom ever try to use the "you're living in my dad's house pretty cheap thanks to this family..." card on you?

baystateapple · May 2012

That's a good question, Loopy. That's another thing I'd have to check on.

It's definitely not a long-term fix. I wouldn't be living there for more than a year, since they want to sell the house as part of his estate (one of my uncles has an interest in buying it, but not for nearly what it's worth, so I doubt that would happen). But it doesn't lock me into a lease for a year, it gives me a chance to see if I really want to move out on my own, and it gives H and I some space for our separation, be it trial or permanent.

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