outlandish MIL statements

SCogs18 · March 2012

Oh, I have another good one: When we were planning the rehearsal dinner my FMIL told me "the wedding is your day, but the rehearsal dinner is MY DAY, so back off." (she is, however, billing FI and I for 1/3 of "her day").

em01092 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_outlandish-mil-statements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:d542ece4-d7dd-4095-a0c4-0fc80c440ae9Post:8547b276-ddbf-4992-bb6c-ad952327f619">Re: outlandish MIL statements</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, I have another good one: When we were planning the rehearsal dinner my FMIL told me "the wedding is your day, but the rehearsal dinner is MY DAY, so back off." (she is, however, billing FI and I for 1/3 of "her day").
Posted by SCogs18[/QUOTE]

<div>WTF? I'd be like, Uh, it's your day, so pay for it. </div>

khovdesven · March 2012

I met my FI young while he was still living at home with his mom. We moved in together about 30 minutes from where she is and she will NEVER let us hear the end of it! She keeps telling us both to move back in with her and even rearranges the furniture in his childhood bedroom to show us how we could live there easily! Every time I tell her no she complains in length about how she hasn't cut the umbilical cord yet and I'm pulling her insides out by taking him from her! Thats why we're waiting until AFTER the wedding to tell her we're moving cross country!

Another time we were at his parents house with his whole family (grandparents and all) I was wearing a dress that easily covered my knees when I was sitting down and my legs were crossed. At some point while we were all in the living room she gets a towel from the bathroom and covers my legs saying "with so much skin showing you must be getting cold"

millercr621 · March 2012

My MIL is a very kind woman and I think we have a great relationship, but sometimes it bugs me when my husband brags about something delicious I cooked, and she immediately asks what was in it and then says, "You know how you should make it next time? You should use...". Maybe she's just trying to be helpful, but it gets to me that she can never just say, "That sounds good." She always has to prove that she's a superior cook, and hello, if he just said he enjoyed something, does it really need to be improved?

mellowdee7 · March 2012

The only issue I've ever had with her was after my baby shower. The day of the shower she was all smiles and hugs, but the next day she complained to my fiance and her husband. According to her someone invited six kids who ate all the food. She then asked my fiance if she should bring more food to the reception because she was afraid we would run out if those kids showed up again. Um, only three kids came to the shower and they came at the END when all of the food was almost gone. Crazy lady.

jaymechaos · March 2012

My FMIL and i were talking about wedding photos one afternoon. And then out of the blue she asks, "What are you going to do with your dress after the wedding?" And I told her that we are going to do a 'Destroy the dress' session because my best friend/MOH is a professional photographer. She exclaimed, "NOOOO, you have to give it to me!" I guess I looked confused because then she adds, "Im going to make baptism clothes for your children out of it"
Umm...First of all, I am pagan, so a baptism isnt something I do AND FI and I have NEVER talked about having kids in front of her.
She means well...but it was way awkward.

Chloeagh · March 2012

My future in-laws haven't done anything too weird, although FFIL told FI that I'm not helpful enough around their house, even though I do their dishes and help with yardwork if they ask me to. Maybe they'll change their mind after I house sit for 3 weeks.

Mostly it's awkward stuff like FMIL asking FI if I'm on birth control, then saying, "But that doesn't mean you have to have sex" or my dad spending a year and a half trying to break us up.

Kschmidt44 · March 2012

My FMIL told us that the whole month of October was a bad month to get married as she has a prior engagement at the end of the month. I'm sorry, the whole MONTH is out? Really? Thankfully, my FI told her that if the first two or three weeks in October were available at the venue we were choosing, we would be going with October. She backed right down, but if she wasn't going to fight for it, why bring it up?!

quiggels219 · March 2012

I wouldn't even know where to start with my FMIL and the crazy things she has done and said. She told him she'd rather he be marrying a housewife that would do his laundry, and not someone educated with their own career. She told me my siblings should not be in the wedding because they are not "real" since they are technically half (although we all 4 grew up in the same house b/c my moms first husband and my dads first wife completely left the scene when they were all about 3-7 years old), she said my neices and nephews shouldnt be invited to the wedding or rehearsal because they will not eat enough to make it "worth it". Um she's not paying for either event so why do you even have a say?? Thats just the tip of the iceburg, but b/c of her I vow to one day be the nicest MIL that I can be!

gsg717 · March 2012

Wow, these are all something else!

My FMIL started out really nice, until she found out he was planning to propose to me. He bought my ring after us dating for 1 month, so she instantly started accusing me of being pregnant. Little does she know, he'd already proposed on our first date... But ok, I'll give her that concern cuz we went kind of fast. He gave her the ring for safekeeping b/c we were in the process of moving in together, and she insisted on putting in a safe deposit box even though I told her it was perfectly fine in her house, she keeps all of her own jewelry there. Well, he wanted to formally propose the day we moved in together, or on my birthday, which was 3 days later. He told her a week in advance that he wanted the ring back and she was "too busy" to go to the bank and get it. Months later, she said that she didn't give him the ring back b/c she didn't want him to propose on the dates he was thinking b/c she thought it was too cheesy. Then, when we announced that we would be planning a destination wedding, she said "Oh, I'm totally gonna upstage you at your own wedding... I'm gonna show up in a red bikini." Destination wedding plans were nixed, but she did remind me that she is still planning to upstage me.

She wasn't offering us a dime for the wedding, until FI mentioned that my mom would be paying for the photographer. Then suddenly, she said she wanted to pay for the photographer. She regularly comments that I'm taking her son away from her, and she always tells him that he owes her b/c of the many hours she spent giving birth to him. Yet his grandmother raised him for the most part and his mom ultimately kicked him out at 16 cuz her new husband didn't like her son. Yea, I don't think he owes you sh*t lady...

FI and I once had a HUGE fight, so he decided to stay with her until things were sorted out. She then started texting me about how I should just let go of him and move on, switching it up saying that I deserve a better man than him. Then, he'd come to our apartment to get some of his stuff and she flipped on him for seeing me. That's when I ended up going off on her, let him make his own choices. He's just getting underwear lady, if he wants to leave me he will. She finally said to him "Well, if you're staying with me, you're not allowed to see her or speak to her." I know her hope was that he'd break it off with me, but that pushed him to come back. Now things are wonderfully sorted between us (counseling is a beautiful thing) and she doesn't speak to him or me. I'm glad she gave him that ultimatum, otherwise we may have broken up.

I'm now afraid she's gonna stand up at our wedding and "Speak now" rather than "Hold her piece". And she's still telling his whole family that I'm pregnant and that's why we're getting married. It's 2 years later!! Shouldn't that baby be here by now?

bethanyj6811 · March 2012

wow! some of them are crazy. When me and FI were just dating, she complained that I weighed too much, and how she was scared for him that I wouldn't be able to take care of him, because he has seizures. she also wanted me to start cleaning HER house, when I don't even live there and FI lives with me. along with that, she wanted me to wear her dress, but then I told her I couldn't because I am taller and curvier than her. now she's 5 foot and petite, I'm 5'5" and curvy. I would definitely not fit in her dress. and then I left town to help family, and she was saying that I was "running away" from my FI and that I need to stop my foolish games. and she also told me that I was leaving so I can have an abortion, when I'm not even pregnant, and now she's telling FI to leave me, because I don't really love him and I'm playing headgames. When clearly he understands why I left. My stepmother just passed and I am helping my father with my 8 year old brother. and FI is moving in next week. She said, I don't like the fact that he keeps leaving. He's 28, he's not a baby. She needs to cut the apron strings. and she keeps wanting him to pay her rent, when he doesn't even live there, and she kicked him out. that's a nutjob for ya!

mhirschy · March 2012

My MIL asked me if my dress was white. When I explained it was ivory and inquired as to why, she said "Well we all know you're not a virgin"...

kwestartistry · March 2012

From DAY 1 I have been the big mean "American girl" that dragged my FMIL's eldest son from the down-home East Coast (Nova Scotia) to Toronto. We've lived in Toronto now for 2.5 years and they haven't once come to visit- because they're "afraid of the city traffic". Really? They took a trip to Amsterdam last spring.
I think my situation is especially craptastic because my FI's dad is even WORSE than his mom. He has maybe said 5 words to me... ever. The only thing he ever talks to my FI about is bikes and cycling- not how he is, his life in general, his holidays, ME, etc, JUST BIKES. I'm not exaggerating. He is actually the grumpiest, rudest, impolitely sarcastic, mean-spirited man I've ever met and I cannot figure out how the hell my FI got out alive and is a truly thoughtful, romantic, optimistic, compassionate man.
The good news is my family is awesome and they live about 9 hours closer. Phew!

musicjailbird7 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_outlandish-mil-statements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:d542ece4-d7dd-4095-a0c4-0fc80c440ae9Post:1d7f2b71-baa7-429d-a024-8609d310e453">Re: outlandish MIL statements</a>:
[QUOTE]My FMIL told me that she will not be wearing her corsage at our wedding ceremony because it will be held outside and she is afraid that a "swarm of bees" will attack her. She also said that if she sees one single bee, she will get up and wait insid for the ceremony to be over.. HUH?? She isn't allergic to them or anything, just scared.
Posted by lobster93[/QUOTE]

<div>Hahahaha! This made me laugh so much!</div>

musicjailbird7 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_outlandish-mil-statements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:d542ece4-d7dd-4095-a0c4-0fc80c440ae9Post:de71e872-0505-4754-9b25-5597e8aa2d49">Re: outlandish MIL statements</a>:
[QUOTE]I've had my fair share... some of it very hurtful. When my FMIL first met me, she said that 'I was very nice, she likes me, but I am not for her son'. I refrained from making a snarky comment lol. Secondly, she commented that I am very immature about how to control my disease, that I should be perfect like her husband. This made me very upset. I have had type 1 Diabetes since I was 10. Her husband has type 2 - both different, even though they share the same name. She would not listen to my words on trying to explain the difference or how I am VERY responsible, especially since I had to take charge of a very serious disease at age 10. Luckily, my Fiance stood up for me about what she said! Also, with the diabetes, before we were even close to being engaged, she told my fiance that he better not marry me, since I have Diabetes. It's a horrible situation to be stuck with when beginning a marriage. She wanted him to marry someone "un-diseased". Um, what? Another situation was that if I died and we had a child, she would take OUR child away and raise her/him herself since she would be the most responsible one to raise the child. Basically, she thinks my fiance is incapable of rasing our child, as well as making sure my mother never gets a part of the childs life. OY! And that's just the start of the problems... we have more with other family of his :(
Posted by KalikaDraumr[/QUOTE]

<div>OMG!!!!??? WTF!? That's so terrible! I'm sorry girl! I have no idea what that's like, my FMIL is one of the nicest people I've ever met, she even drove me home and put me in bed after I got wasted with her and her friend and threw up on the side of the road. She didn't even tease me about it afterward! </div><div>To all you ladies for your stories, keep your chins up. That sucks and I'm sure you'll all be much kinder MIL's in the future.</div>

ekvcnasr1 · March 2012

I have one to share. My fiance and I purchased a very nice "new to us" vehicle today. When we drove in, she said: "Oh, you must be trying to outdo me!" Meaning, we must think our vehicle was better than hers. (both are less than 5 years old and in wonderful condition)

She went on to ask all the personal questions: where did you buy it? how much did it cost you? whose name is on it? (both) etc.

ali585 · March 2012

My FMIL got jealous last year when FI and I went on a trip with my family. When we returned, she cried to FI that she felt left out. So, we offered to take her somewhere for a mini long weekend vacation, and asked when she was free. She said the only time she's available for the rest of the year is the week after our wedding (when we'll be on our honeymoon!) When we told her that wouldn't work for us she acted all hurt and surprised...c'mon, it shouldn't be a shocker that we'll be on our honeymoon then!!

melissak1q · March 2012

My FMIL decided to visit us in another state the same freaking week we moved into our new house. We still needed to move everything in but dropped it all to spend the weekend with her. We footed the plane ticket for her so she could come, even. She came into our new (and first) house and said something about the material it's made of bein cheap then went on to say to me, "I heard your mom is crazy!" B*%$ch, you haven't even MET HER!

She spend the weekend sleeping in our bed while DF and I slept on the couch b/c the living room was too cold for her. She didn't tell us she was sick until she got here so we both got sick after she left. She spend the remainder of the weekend complaining about everything, saying I don't cook enough (hadn't had time to even clean our new kitchen, HELLO!), demanding Fruit Loops be purchased for her breakfast forcing DF and I to drink much wine from coffee mugs after she'd finally gone to bed.

I am glad we live a state away!

AlaskaDee23 · March 2012

oh I feel so very blessed! My FIL is wonderful and a saint compared to these stories

Jules5611 · March 2012

My FMIL insisted we have a wedding after we had mentioned eloping cause of money being an issue. So we will now be having a small ceremony and having a marriage celebration.

I sent out message in a bottle invites for the ceremony and she complained that they skimped on the sand and that no where on the invitation did it say anything about marraige (it was clear to everyone except her apparently). Later on my FH, FMIL, and I were discussing the wedding and she said that she would be driving down to the cape around 6...well the wedding is at 5. In the same conversation she said she was looking for a black dress to wear to the wedding. FH suggested a more springy shade or navy blue. Her response "maybe I'll just wear white or ivory."

We just finished paying for our venue and she is insisting on paying for it only if we don't have open bar...hello we paid for it already, thank you though!

When I started planning the celebration party she said "You know June is a busy month no ones going to be able to go. People are busy in June." Seriously? The celebration is casual and we are having a buffet style meal. Right now we have plastic plates but plan on upgrading to real ones. She called me and asked if she could pay for the real plates because its not right to expect our guests to eat off of plastic and becasuse her husbands family will be there and she doesn't want to be embarrassed. I avoid wedding talk with her because I don't want to get my feelings hurt, and its just easier,

futuremrskos · March 2012

Oh gosh, some of these are just horrendous.

When we first started wedding planning, my FMIL made us two promises, she would cover the honeymoon and she would cover the rehearsal dinner. Now, I know my FMIL and I was hesitant to believe it, so I paid for our honeymoon ahead of time and figured she could always reimburse my credit card.

Surprise, surprise, we're less than a month from the wedding, she "can't afford" to pay for either, my mom is picking up the tab for the rehearsal dinner, and she informs me that she has already made her hair and makeup appointment for the morning of. Now mind you, none of us are having professional hair and makeup done. With everything else, we just couldn't afford it, especially after having to cover her stuff unexpectedly.

I mentioned that to her, and her response, well this is my son's wedding, it only happens once so I'm treating myself. Ummm... ok, you're right this day is about you, not about us. Go for it.

Choosing my battles....

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