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WDWWT? Woman Told to Abort Pregnancy or Die Chooses Death

HeffalumpHeffalump member
Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes
Opponents of legal abortion tell women to "choose life." A 32-year-old British woman followed that decree, and, in so doing, she also chose death.

Her own.

Donna Blanks of Newport, South Wales, died Sept. 22, 13 months after having the baby that doctors said she would have to abort to save her own life.

They told her that her chronic kidney problems made motherhood a virtual suicide mission. The London Daily Mail reports she didn't care. It was her lifelong dream to be a mother, even if it meant not having a long life.

Continued HERE.
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Re: WDWWT? Woman Told to Abort Pregnancy or Die Chooses Death

  • MinMMinM
    10000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This reminds me of Steel Magnolias.
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  • **O-Face****O-Face** member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Wow.  But the child has no mother now.  I guess there is no "easy" answer.
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  • loveshine1loveshine1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Wow. This reminds me a lot of Steel Magnolias. Similar story with the diabetes and the failing kidneys.

    For me, I don't know that I would have gone through with the pregnancy because as bad as I would want it, it would be quite selfish. I don't think I would have been able to keep the pregnancy because it wouldn't be fair to DH or to my child if I did, knowing that there's a good chance I wouldn't make it.


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  • E SquaredE Squared member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think that motherhood means actually raising a child and being there for it, rather than just popping it out, but hey, what do I know?
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  • loveshine1loveshine1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Was adoption not an option for these 2? I don't think it was mentioned in the article.
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  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place. That's effing irresponsible, right there. 

    But if I were already pregnant and they found something fatal? The kid comes first. The kid lives. H and I have discussed this, too - if I'm in labor and they can save me or the baby, he knows that if he saves me, I'll kill him. I've had my chance to live. 
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  • **O-Face****O-Face** member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    i2i w/E.

    I can see lots of resentment in that child's future. 
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  • jojobrnjojobrn member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I doubt adoption wasn't an option, from the article, it sounds like she knowing chose to get pregnant, despite her health history. And it not only cost her her own life, but also nearly her son's life. That's not some strong desire to be a mother, that is selfishness.
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  • NOLABridesmaidNOLABridesmaid member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011

    I have to agree with Bacon on this one. Don't get knocked up, but if I did, I wouldn't abort my baby.

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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_wdwwt-woman-told-abort-pregnancy-die-chooses-death?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:8b141c8a-a737-4db5-8d34-1209df4fdf62Post:150d2b2e-6c85-469e-abce-6f3f7d2cfce7">Re: WDWWT? Woman Told to Abort Pregnancy or Die Chooses Death</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think that motherhood means actually raising a child and being there for it, rather than just popping it out, but hey, what do I know?
    Posted by E Squared[/QUOTE]
    That was sort of my first thought.  It's a tough situation, but I notice that the article never said "She wanted what was best for the baby," or "Her baby's life was more important to her than her own."  It was "She wanted to be a mother, so she went through with it, knowing she wouldn't be around to actually raise the kid."  It was all about her.

    If I wanted to be a mother that badly, I would adopt rather than die and leave DH to raise a kid alone.  And I've seen people comment elsewhere that saying people should "just adopt" oversimplifies the process, especially when they're commenting on things like fertility treatments.  Fair enough.  But I can't imagine wanting a biokid badly enough to die over it.
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  • MinMMinM
    10000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think recommending adoption to someone who would likely die from carrying a child to term, is very different than telling someone who is suffering from infertility to 'just adopt.'
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  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    IDK, I think it's selfish to kill the child to save yourself. Unfortunately, I can't say that in this situation I wouldn't take the selfish route.
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  • jojobrnjojobrn member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_wdwwt-woman-told-abort-pregnancy-die-chooses-death?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:8b141c8a-a737-4db5-8d34-1209df4fdf62Post:1f4cd523-bec4-41a8-a633-9e831fce2970">Re: WDWWT? Woman Told to Abort Pregnancy or Die Chooses Death</a>:
    [QUOTE]IDK, I think it's selfish to kill the child to save yourself. Unfortunately, I can't say that in this situation I wouldn't take the selfish route.
    Posted by TheDuckis[/QUOTE]

    <div>I don't think her choosing the life of her child was selfish, I think the fact she knowingly chose to get pregnant in the first place, not knowing if her child would even survive the pregnancy was selfish. </div>
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  • MinMMinM
    10000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Good point, Zilla.
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  • Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with Bmom. If I was already pregnant I'm not sure I could abort, but that might depend too on how far along I was, in all honesty.

    The only story I have to add to this is that SIL was told to abort because her child would be born with all sorts of problems and probably not make it anyway and if he did he'd be a virtual vegetable.

    He's smart, charismatic and a great athlete, and 14.
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  • nicoleg1982nicoleg1982 member
    5000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ditto on the surrogacy thing.  I would do ti for someone I knew and loved, who wanted a bio kid.  I'm good at incubating.
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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I agree with E, and I do think saving the kid rather than yourself is selfish in the extreme.  You're basically choosing a motherless life for the kid, with other people having to pick up the slack for your decision, just so you can fulfill your biological drive to have your genes pass on.  This woman is a land-dwelling salmon.
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  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    She shouldn't have actively tried to get pg in the first place.  There are other options or the option of not having children.

    With 6let I would have chosen his life.  I'm not sure how I would have felt early in this pregnancy.  I have a responsibility to 6let too. 
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  • Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, the situation changes drastically if you already know something bad will happen if you breed. Adopt, or get a surrogate, or buy a bunch of cats and put straw in your hair (if you're me)
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  • LnR70707LnR70707 member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't have gotten KU in the first place, or I would have terminated.  I would not risk my own life for an unborn child.  That is just stupid.
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  • KatyRoseMKatyRoseM member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I have a friend who's mother had her younger sister which shortened her life due to some kind of cancer (I don't know, I was very young).  I'm not sure if her sister was planned or not, but if not I don't know what I would do.  I also don't know how it would change with the fact that she had 2 other children, and it shortened her life, she probably would have died anyway.
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  • redheadtmkredheadtmk member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think the way the article is written is misleading. it says in the first line, which is there to catch your attention, that she was told childbirth was a suicide mission but she chose to do it anyway. once the article actually starts, it says they tried for 13 years to get pregnant, finally got pregnant, and THEN found out her kidneys were failing. at which point she was given the advice to abort.

     after trying for 13 years and then being told to kill the child, i would have the child. i would either way as i am agianst abortion in most cases.
    anyway, i dont think she was selfish to have him. being healthy when your child is born does not guarantee you will be around for your child's whole life. second, i am sure she discussed this with her partner and family so nobody was "left picking up the slack". considering the alternative to being motherless is being dead in his case, i dont think he will be resentful of his mothers choice
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I'm with (shocker) E and Kuus.  But I don't feel a biological drive to procreate yet, so I can't really empathize with this situation.  I mean, trying for 13 years?  I don't have the fortitude for that.
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