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a little advice needed

sthrnbabi09sthrnbabi09
First Comment
in Wedding Party
I have 3 best friends:

#1: bf since 6th grade, lives in MA
#2: bf since hs, lives in IN
#3: bf since college, lives in LA

Ok, so I live in MS and I'm having trouble picking a MOH. If I had it my way I'd pick #1 because we've been friends the longest, but she lives so far away it would be difficult for her to get to MS all the time to help out with stuff, and same goes with #2. #3 would be able to get here easier than the other two would.  I just don't want to hurt feelings and all of that.

Any advice would be great. 
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Re: a little advice needed

  • pixiedust84pixiedust84 member
    1000 Comments
    THE MOH SHOULD BE THE PERSON WHO IS CLOSEST TO YOU REGARDLESS OF WHERE THEY LIVE!!

    I'm yelling because people don't listen. Hopefully you will!

    The MOH does not need to be around to "help with stuff" that's what your fi is for. She can be an absolutely fabulous MOH from across the country just as easily as if she lived next door. You and Fi should be planning yourwedding and your MOH should be your closest friend - someone you want to honor. If #1 is your closest friend pick her!
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  • gottahavashortigottahavashorti member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    Your MOH is your closest friend, not the person who can help you out with stuff.  If that's #1, ask #1.  If you're equally close to all of them, don't select a MOH. 

    Your FI is the one who should help you out with wedding things.

    The duties of the WP are to show up to the wedding clean and sober in the requested attire (within their budget and preferably not a cut that does not fit them well), walk down the aisle, stand or sit quietlyd uring the ceremony and smile for pictures.  The rest is a bonus and should not be expected or required.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Pick based on who you are close to - not who will help you.  The wedding is yours to plan with your FI.

    It's also fine to have three BMs and no MOH.
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  • psichickpsichick
    1000 Comments

    what exactly do you expect her to help out with?

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  • saxy414saxy414
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    BMs and MsOH are not there to help you plan your wedding--they should be the people closest to you--not the person you know will help stuff invitations, or tie ribbons on favors, or plan a great party...those are the extras they do if they WANT to.  If you can't decide, tell them that you love them all so much you couldn't designate a MOH, and they'll all be BMs. 
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  • emilyinchileemilyinchile member
    5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_little-advice-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:68b8d168-b3b5-4687-8d05-8232002b3b3ePost:f7a3584f-d1a9-4d3e-b340-865174d61787">a little advice needed</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have 3 best friends: #1: bf since 6th grade, lives in MA #2: bf since hs, lives in IN #3: bf since college, lives in LA Ok, so I live in MS and I'm having trouble picking a MOH. If I had it my way I'd pick #1 because we've been friends the longest, but <strong>she lives so far away it would be difficult for her to get to MS all the time to help out with stuff</strong>, and same goes with #2. #3 would be able to get here easier than the other two would.  I just don't want to hurt feelings and all of that. Any advice would be great. 
    Posted by sthrnbabi09[/QUOTE]

    [QUOTE]<strong>i dont expect them to help</strong>, sorry if it was taken that way.. 
    Posted by sthrnbabi09[/QUOTE]

    Umm, ok then. Anyway, to answer your question, I agree with everyone else. My MOH (and 2 of the other 3 BMs) live on a different continent than I do. But I would never have not chosen them because they are my bestest friends in the world, and I'm so glad that they were able to be there on my wedding day, when it was really important...much more important than having someone I'm less close to around for any pre-wedding stuff.
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  • SassyBrassSassyBrass
    100 Comments
    I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt here and assume you mean help with things like picking out a dress she likes or something like that... because let's face it, in anything planning, I wouldn't want FI's help on that stuff.
    Honestly though, I agree with the PP's stating choose who you want to be up there with you, and don't worry about one being MOH if you can't decide.
    Night swimming in the ocean= pretty sweet reception!
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  • lharri12lharri12 member
    500 Comments
    Agree with PPs.  You should ask who is closest to you emotionally, not geographically, to be your MOH.  Your MOH doesn't have to help you with wedding planning or preparation.  If you need help, hire a wedding coordinator.  My MOH lives 6 hours away, and hopefully she can make it here for my bachelorette party, but if she can't, life goes on.  She will be there for my wedding, and she'll be there for me for many years after the wedding.  That's what a MOH is for.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Pick whoever you are the closest to. Ditto pp. A MOH only duties are to show up at the wedding. Anything else is great. My MOH lives 650 away from me, in fact, I have none of my girls in the state we live in, and that is why I have FI to help me with stuff.
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  • akresgeakresge member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_little-advice-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:68b8d168-b3b5-4687-8d05-8232002b3b3ePost:ca65f3d1-f091-42fc-910a-01bad68afc87">Re: a little advice needed</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to a little advice needed : Umm, ok then. Anyway, to answer your question, I agree with everyone else. <strong>My MOH (and 2 of the other 3 BMs) live on a different continent than I do</strong>. But I would never have not chosen them because they are my bestest friends in the world, and I'm so glad that they were able to be there on my wedding day, when it was really important...much more important than having someone I'm less close to around for any pre-wedding stuff.
    Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

    <div>Exactly, agree with PP's. Pick who you are closest to, it does not matter how far away they are. My MOH lives in Europe, but I chose her because she is my big sister, and I could never imagine anyone else as my MOH. If you are worried about picking out dresses ect all these things can be easily done via the internet and phone. Maybe not ideal, but my MOH and I have still had fun even though she can't be here. </div><div>
    </div><div>This is something that is huge part of my wedding. In the entire WP, 1 person is coming from Europe, 1 from Asia, and 1 from South America. This does no prohibit their ability to be a supportive WP. In the end you'll be kicking yourself if you don't choose who you're closest to. </div>
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