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A question from my FMIL

sweetpea0911sweetpea0911 member
First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
in Moms and Maids
Yes, you did read that correctly.

She called me yesterday to let me know that she had a bought a dress for the wedding.  Great, congrats!  Now she's looking at it and wondering if it's appropriate and no matter how much I tell her yes, she thinks I need to double check with "your online friends at that wedding site - they have such good ideas!"  So, here I am.

She bough a cute dress that is black on the bottom and a champagne color top with black embroidery.  It also has a jacket that is the champagne color with the black embroidery.  The dress comes to just above her knee.  She wants to know if the dress is inappropriate because: a) it comes above her knees [buut only slightly] and is shorter than the bridesmaids' dresses, and b) it has the same color as my dress in it.

For the record, I think the pictures she has sent me are pretty and if she feels comfortable in it and likes the way she looks, I think she should wear it.  Yes, the champagne color is the color of my  dress, but a) you can barely tell they are the same color and b) it's not the whole dress, so really, who cares?  

So, ladies, please tell her she isn't breaking any unknown etiquette about how long her dress should be or whether or not the world is going to end because she bought her dress before my mom bought hers and before I had "approved" it.

image

***raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways***
oh noes, sweetpea UPDATED her planning bio

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Re: A question from my FMIL

  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Absolute she can wear whatever she likes and feels good in and frankly, I think that dress sounds lovely. So tell her to go for it! :)
    image
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  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Just tell her she's a MILF ;)

    I think that dress sounds pretty!
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  • mysticlmysticl member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    It sounds great, tell her she picked a perfect dress.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    The dress sounds perfect. It's so nice to hear from a bride and FMIL who are not arguing over silly things. Best wishes : )
                       
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto pp's. Anything goes. She is not in the WP so she does not have to match. My MIl asked me what she wanted and I told her the same thing, as long as she was comfortable, I didn't care.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ahem:  allow me first to say to sweetpea  ::BRAVO!!!!!::  It's lovely to read a post from a bride who isn't whining "OMG!!!11!!!11  My FIL is trying to steal my thunder by wearing a dress that has MY color in it!!!!"

    I think I quite <3 you right now, Sweetpea.  Please tell your FMIL that this advice comes from a former MOG and MOB.  Tell her she's sweet to be worrying about this, but she loves her dress, and you love her dress, and she loves you and you love her, and that's all that matters.

    Here's the conversation that my adorable DIL had when I asked her a similar question that you received:

    Me:  What do you want me to wear for the wedding.
    DIL:  Whatever you feel beautiful and comfortable in.

    Did I mention that I adore my DIL?  And that I think I won the DIL lottery when my son had the good sense to marry her? 

    I think Sweetpea, that your FMIL probably feels about you the way I feel about my DIL.  Nice job.  Your FMIL is a lucky lady.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • sweetpea0911sweetpea0911 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks, ladies.  I'm glad she found something she likes.  I could care less what the moms wear, although I did offer to go with them shopping if they were unsure and felt they needed help.  But yeah, they've been dressing themselves since before they were born - that one day should be no different!

    Marie - we're pretty chill, FMIL and I.  Not to say we don't have our moments (we are still in the midst of a disagreement over whether or not it is rude to call a guest who has not returned an RSVP to see if they will or will not be attending), but overall, she's a pretty cool lady.

    Edit: I can't clearly articulate.  I meant they've been dressing themselves since before J and I were born...not since before they themselves were born!

    Trix - thanks a bunch!  I <3 you too :)

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    ***raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways***
    oh noes, sweetpea UPDATED her planning bio

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  • Muffin'sMomMuffin'sMom
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Trix said it!  It sounds beautiful and I'm sure she will look lovely!
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
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  • lisalou402lisalou402 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011

    My FMIL called to tell me she bought two jackets to go over her dress, one being fuscia and the other gold.  I told her to wear whatever she felt better in.

    Funny though, my MOH said "she can't wear fuscia, it's not formal enough"  She also said "she can't wear fuscia she will not match with the photos".

    All of which i just laughed at.  She wants to wear fuscia, so be it.  As long as she's happy!

    Kudos to you for keeping your head!

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  • ScuttlekidScuttlekid
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sounds like you have a very nice relationship with your FMIL. I have that too, and I am so grateful for it. I basically told her the same thing about dresses. She wasn't concerned with having a dress too similar to mine (between my color and my cut, it would never even be an issue), but she did want to make sure that my mom finds her dress first so that she, as the mother of the groom, doesn't appear like she's trying to steal my mom's thunder. My FMIL already married a daughter and this is my mom's first time so the FMIL wants to make sure my mom enjoys the process. She's just the best! Tell your FMIL to go for whatever makes her feel great and that you have enough faith that she would never buy a gown that would draw attention away from yours (definitely make sure she is told the second part!)
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  • goetzr19goetzr19
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It sounds like a similar dress my mother wanted to buy.  Since the whole dress isn't the same color as yours, it's fine!  Tell her she has a good eye for shopping :)
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  • Kate61487Kate61487 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_question-fmil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:386dfa21-fce3-4c68-9354-8e17d9a3a2a1Post:1407e976-d8a1-40be-b548-9e508f63de37">A question from my FMIL</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes, you did read that correctly. She called me yesterday to let me know that she had a bought a dress for the wedding.  Great, congrats!  Now she's looking at it and wondering if it's appropriate and no matter how much I tell her yes, she thinks I need to <strong>double check with "your online friends at that wedding site - they have such good ideas!"</strong>  So, here I am. She bough a cute dress that is black on the bottom and a champagne color top with black embroidery.  It also has a jacket that is the champagne color with the black embroidery.  The dress comes to just above her knee.  She wants to know if the dress is inappropriate because: a) it comes above her knees [buut only slightly] and is shorter than the bridesmaids' dresses, and b) it has the same color as my dress in it. For the record, I think the pictures she has sent me are pretty and if she feels comfortable in it and likes the way she looks, I think she should wear it.  Yes, the champagne color is the color of my  dress, but a) you can barely tell they are the same color and b) it's not the whole dress, so really, who cares?   So, ladies, please tell her she isn't breaking any unknown etiquette about how long her dress should be or whether or not the world is going to end because she bought her dress before my mom bought hers and before I had "approved" it.
    Posted by sweetpea0911[/QUOTE]

     I love your MIL :-)

    but as PPs have said her dress sounds very nice and I wouldn't see a problem with it at all.  As for it being shorter than the BMs dresses - I'm pretty sure that 90% of the weddings I've been to the MOB and MOG dresses are shorter than the BMs because the BMs are often full length!

    image

     

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