Guest Attire...

crfische · June 2012

A) A 50,000 wedding, while nice, is not a superly duperly extravagant affair. But way to number drop.

2) Black tie optional means nothing other than that...ya know...it's OPTIONAL. If your braless khaki wearing dad's side of the family wears that to most weddings, they will wear that to your wedding.Because the black tie is...ya know...optional.

III) Your wedding is no less valid if there are heathens in khakis there.

D) If that's what you're worried about, I'm afraid you're doing it wrong.

And yes. You're coming off pretentious. Get the eff over it and focus on something else...like...ya know. Your vows or something that matters.

futuremrsbruno · June 2012

"Am I crazy, or are there levels of clothing between khakis and tuxes? I consider a suit to be the minimum dress appropriate for a wedding (unless its something like a backyard wedding or a beach wedding..)"

Next time you are in a department store, wonder on over to the men's businesswear section. I will guarentee you that khaki's will be there along with other types of dress pants in several other colors. Khaki refers to the light brown color of dress pants. Khaki is a color. We use it as a term to describe a pair of dress pants that have become a type of universal wear for a variety of events ranging from going for dinner, to working in an office, to going to a wedding or funeral.

I think you have in your head khaki's that are of the cargo pant variety. Those are the things guys wear to the beach. I've never seen a guy roll up to the sand in his khaki's that he wears to work.

And for that matter, if someone wore the cargo kind to my wedding, that's cool. My venue and church may not be the happiest, but whatevs, I'm paying for it anyway.

baystateapple · June 2012

Fish is doing it right.

According to one of my BMs, my assclown of a FIL went upstairs and changed out of his tux and into a flannel shirt and jeans midway through our reception. I did not notice, and I laughed like hell when I found out. If Ranch can overlook chaps, you can overlook khakis.

mbuckley85 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-attire-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:312439e4-3a7b-4444-91e3-44f8667014dePost:2851c55f-5cb6-4dd3-bce3-8095a30816b6">Re: Guest Attire...</a>:
[QUOTE]"Am I crazy, or are there levels of clothing between khakis and tuxes? I consider a suit to be the minimum dress appropriate for a wedding (unless its something like a backyard wedding or a beach wedding..)" Next time you are in a department store, wonder on over to the men's businesswear section. I will guarentee you that khaki's will be there along with other types of dress pants in several other colors. Khaki refers to the light brown color of dress pants. Khaki is a color. We use it as a term to describe a pair of dress pants that have become a type of universal wear for a variety of events ranging from going for dinner, to working in an office, to going to a wedding or funeral. I think you have in your head khaki's that are of the cargo pant variety. Those are the things guys wear to the beach. I've never seen a guy roll up to the sand in his khaki's that he wears to work. And for that matter, if someone wore the cargo kind to my wedding, that's cool. My venue and church may not be the happiest, but whatevs, I'm paying for it anyway.
Posted by futuremrsbruno[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I know that khaki refers to a color, thanks. My fiance does dress in business attire to go to work everyday and owns that type of trouser. I guess what I mean is not quite the "cargo-type" but more like Dockers...

</div>

andrea2473 · June 2012

Black tie optional is confusing.   H and I would always rather be over-dressed, but we also wouldn't want to be the only people in a tux and a ballgown like we are hitting the red carpet.   Read PP's responses carefully. The people that you think you need to tell how to dress, WON'T CARE ANYWAY. Spread it through word of mouth that this is a more upscale wedding than what they might be used to and keep your fingers crossed.   If you aren't requiring formal wear, than you shouldn't mention it. Ever.   Why confuse the rest of your guests over three people?

Rach, that pic is awesome. I love how you felt the need to prove it.

FMIL contacted me before the wedding and said her best friend's husband was asking about jeans because he always wears jeans to every event. We did not have a jeans-appropriate wedding or venue. I answered by saying that I doubt anyone else would be wearing jeans, but I'd rather he be comfortable and I'm not going to tell anyone what to wear. He showed up in khakis. I know you think that's horrific, but it's better than jeans (which I wouldn't have cared about anyway).     So there are tactful ways to handle this.   Quit stressing.

crfische · June 2012

Buckley. Seriously. Just get over it.

crfische · June 2012

STAGE!!!! HI, BUDDY!

futuremrsbruno · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-attire-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:312439e4-3a7b-4444-91e3-44f8667014dePost:e715f938-d412-4f0d-ac95-c74e2733af1f">Re:Guest Attire...</a>:
[QUOTE]What are you paying per head for dinner. Black tie is not wedding chicken and roast. It's prime cut steaks, veal, duck, etc. it's not some upgraded liquor options, it's true Champagne and full open top shelf liquor at the bar. A black tie affair is something the President can attend. If I see black tie on an invite, spend 300 or 400 on a dress, have my hair professionally done, and then show up to an otherwise normal formal wedding reception, I am going to be PISSED.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

This.

Meegles4 · June 2012

When I was referring to khaki's, I too was referring to a Docker-type pant. And all of my above statements still hold true. Done and done.

mbuckley85 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-attire-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:312439e4-3a7b-4444-91e3-44f8667014dePost:e715f938-d412-4f0d-ac95-c74e2733af1f">Re:Guest Attire...</a>:
[QUOTE]What are you paying per head for dinner. Black tie is not wedding chicken and roast. It's prime cut steaks, veal, duck, etc. it's not some upgraded liquor options, it's true Champagne and full open top shelf liquor at the bar. A black tie affair is something the President can attend. If I see black tie on an invite, spend 300 or 400 on a dress, have my hair professionally done, and then show up to an otherwise normal formal wedding reception, I am going to be PISSED.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>About $120.00 a head. Filet mignon, chicken milanese, butternut squash ravioli. Its one of the top caterers in the area. Its in a historic casino (not in use as a casino).

</div>

mbuckley85 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-attire-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:312439e4-3a7b-4444-91e3-44f8667014dePost:11c29b7e-ecbc-496a-b8db-6eb8365b9b87">Re: Guest Attire...</a>:
[QUOTE]Top caterer, top band. Woohoo.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

<div>Honestly? I though you said you were leaving...</div>

baystateapple · June 2012

Filet mignon does not automatically = black tie. My cousin-in-law had a New Jersey wedding with filet mignon, lobster tail, a live band, top shelf liquor, and it still wasn't a black tie affair. Also, he wasn't a douche about what we wore, so there's that.

futuremrsbruno · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-attire-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:312439e4-3a7b-4444-91e3-44f8667014dePost:9fb6b68a-85a2-423b-bd14-198ac0057468">Re: Guest Attire...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Guest Attire... : I know that khaki refers to a color, thanks. My fiance does dress in business attire to go to work everyday and owns that type of trouser. I guess what I mean is not quite the "cargo-type" but more like Dockers...
Posted by mbuckley85[/QUOTE]

So if someone showed up at your wedding wearing Dockers that were khaki colored, you would find that inappropriate?

Wow.

Is it the Dockers? Because I'm positive Ralph Lauren makes a nice pair of khaki dress pants. They may go better with your $50,000 wedding.

andrea2473 · June 2012

This is exhausting. OP, you are probably going to do what you want anyway. I'd love to stay and chat about it, but I have to leave town for my BILs wedding and I haven't ironed my husband's khakis yet. Enjoy insulting your guests at your pretend black-tie wedding.

crfische · June 2012

Posting is optional.

POST.

crfische · June 2012

POST.

crfische · June 2012

Post

Post

Post

crfische · June 2012

PPPOOOOOOSSSSTTTTTTT!!!!!

mbuckley85 · June 2012

On that note...don't worry (not that anyone did). I will NOT put black tie optional on the invite, and instead, will rely on word of mouth and the formality of my invite to portray what is appropriate to wear at my wedding.

Though I do really hope my aunt wears a bra more than anything. That's just not something anyone should have to see...

mbuckley85 · June 2012

Also, I just posted in the Customs and Traditions section a fairly benign question that doesn't seem to be getting responses, so if anyone wants to head over there to bash me some more, feel free.

futuremrsbruno · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-attire-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:312439e4-3a7b-4444-91e3-44f8667014dePost:1cb0b025-db55-4e72-876c-db7784d10b16">Re: Guest Attire...</a>:
[QUOTE]On that note...don't worry (not that anyone did). I will NOT put black tie optional on the invite, and instead, will rely on word of mouth and the formality of my invite to portray what is appropriate to wear at my wedding. Though I do really hope my aunt wears a bra more than anything. That's just not something anyone should have to see...
Posted by mbuckley85[/QUOTE]

At this point, I sincerely hope she sticks to her braless ways... sounds like it would be some entertainment.

adamar15 · June 2012

Bay, if it wasn't black tie and he didn't have 32 different passed appetizers, then IT WASN'T A REAL JERSEY WEDDING. They're the fanciest, dontcha know?

lbarr088 · June 2012

Thanks for the heads up!! :: off to C&Ts::

For real though, relax. Wait around and lurk awhile and I'm sure you will see what a real "bashing" is. Trust me, this is not it.

mbuckley85 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-attire-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:312439e4-3a7b-4444-91e3-44f8667014dePost:3c406654-9ea7-4f0f-8b6c-8472a81628f6">Re: Guest Attire...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Guest Attire... : At this point, I sincerely hope she sticks to her braless ways... sounds like it would be some entertainment.
Posted by futuremrsbruno[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Well if she decides to remain braless, I hope she also decides to remain in her seat...</div><div>
</div><div>I really just don't think anyone should be subjected to that on the dance floor.<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-yell.gif" border="0" alt="Yell" title="Yell" />

</div>

baystateapple · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-attire-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:312439e4-3a7b-4444-91e3-44f8667014dePost:0f02e846-c799-46c2-8740-d6003d0c6e19">Re: Guest Attire...</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, I just posted in the Customs and Traditions section a fairly benign question that doesn't seem to be getting responses, so if anyone wants to head over there to bash me some more, feel free.
Posted by mbuckley85[/QUOTE]
Oh jeezum. Get off the cross, someone else needs the wood.

mbuckley85 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-attire-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:312439e4-3a7b-4444-91e3-44f8667014dePost:68518977-fa1f-45c3-9725-71336f1be426">Re: Guest Attire...</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the heads up!! :: off to C&Ts:: For real though, relax. Wait around and lurk awhile and I'm sure you will see what a real "bashing" is. Trust me, this is not it.
Posted by lbarr088[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh, well I guess that's good. Glad I could give everyone something to talk about at this hour...</div>

mbuckley85 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-attire-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:312439e4-3a7b-4444-91e3-44f8667014dePost:b2c61924-d8ef-4a0e-a36f-055fafa8ea60">Re: Guest Attire...</a>:
[QUOTE]Subjected to a woman not wearing a bra? Good grief! You're acting like their eyeballs are going to melt if they see the outline of a nip.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

<div>Nah...Most people would brush it off, NBD, whatever. Maybe its just not something I want my in-laws seeing for the first time at the wedding. Maybe I should have her over with my in-laws ahead of time so they can meet her in her braless glory before the wedding.</div>

lbarr088 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-attire-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:312439e4-3a7b-4444-91e3-44f8667014dePost:b2c61924-d8ef-4a0e-a36f-055fafa8ea60">Re: Guest Attire...</a>:
[QUOTE]Subjected to a woman not wearing a bra? Good grief! You're acting like their eyeballs are going to melt if they see the outline of a nip.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

<div>But nips are scandalous!</div><div>
</div><div>I saw an episode of Four Weddings (please don't judge me) and one of the ladies boobs literally kept falling out of her dress. At that point, I think people would have appreciated nipple outline from under a dress. Andplusalso, maybe she will get one of those dresses that has a bit of padding and there will be no worry of a nip show. </div>

adamar15 · June 2012

I'm sure your inlaws have seen a woman without a bra before now. My husband sees one daily.

Amynutrition · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-attire-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:312439e4-3a7b-4444-91e3-44f8667014dePost:1cb0b025-db55-4e72-876c-db7784d10b16">Re: Guest Attire...</a>:
[QUOTE]On that note...don't worry (not that anyone did). I will NOT put black tie optional on the invite, and instead, will rely on word of mouth and the formality of my invite to portray what is appropriate to wear at my wedding. Though I do really hope my aunt wears a bra more than anything. That's just not something anyone should have to see...
Posted by mbuckley85[/QUOTE]

You should definately put BRA REQUIRED on your invitations then, maybe a diagram of acceptable cleavage levels?
Our wedding would be considered "black tie" and ~75% of our family/friends own tuxedos but I didn't want the other 25% to feel obligated to buy or rent a tuxedo just for us.

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