Awkward conversation, how do I handle this?

Re: Awkward conversation, how do I handle this?

• aragx6 member

  

  July 2012

  I would have preferred to walk down myself or walk down with FI but my mom really wanted to do it so I said OK because I adore her. Definitely no "giving me away" mumbo jumbo. Are you that opposed to just having him do it? Because I might consider doing so if they've played an important role in your life.

  

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• ElleB87 member

  

  July 2012

  You're not obligated to give in to this request and I think it's pretty lame for someone to use a "this is my dying wish" line to get you to do what they want. H and I walked down the aisle together and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I'm also not into the "giving away the bride" tradition.
  
  

  

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• helleb member

  

  July 2012

  Its really up to you but I am sure there could be a compromise found.  If he truly is as close as family I would try to do this.  Maybe he could do a reading?  Maybe he could escort his wife down the aisle right before the bridal party as some people do with the parents of the B&G.  It sounds like it will be awkward but I don't think there is a way around it. 
  
  You never know, maybe he really does feel an obligation to your dad.  I know that I feel very strongly for all my godchildren (I have 7).  If anything happened to their parents, I would want to make sure I did everything possible to help care for them and make them happy, no matter their age.

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• Rose March member

  

  July 2012

  If it was my dad or my mom I'd more than likely go with it. And I don think the comment was made to sound that mellow-dramatic. I think he just thinks it's something he should be doing. I know it's with the best intentions. We're having a very simple ceremony no reading only a BM & MOH and skipping a lot of traditional things I was going to present the two of them with boutonniere/corsage like FI's parents. 

  

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• MyUserName1 member

  

  July 2012

  Honestly, I'd just allow him to escort me.  NOT give me away, but escort me down the aisle.  It seems to mean a lot to him and it isn't really a huge deal in the grand scheme of things.

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• Kate61487 member

  

  July 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_awkward-conversation-how-do-i-handle-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:25d20a34-c366-4995-a9c8-075590f75f8cPost:3f6b16c2-92af-4035-9186-574d0ee3f534">Re: Awkward conversation, how do I handle this?</a>:
  [QUOTE]Honestly, I'd just allow him to escort me.  NOT give me away, but escort me down the aisle.  It seems to mean a lot to him and it isn't really a huge deal in the grand scheme of things.
  Posted by MyUserName1[/QUOTE]
  
  This is my take on it too.  I could see resisting it more if you already had plans to ask a brother/uncle/other close relative, but it clearly means a lot to him and it's just not that big of a deal.

  

   
  

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• mbrischoux member

  

  July 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_awkward-conversation-how-do-i-handle-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:25d20a34-c366-4995-a9c8-075590f75f8cPost:01bff025-97e3-42ee-ad61-efaf9f5c2716">Awkward conversation, how do I handle this?</a>:
  [QUOTE]Visited my godparents last weekend and a comment was made on selecting a wedding date (they brought it up) and the statement was made "my only wish is to walk you down the aisle be fore I die"   My father passed a long time ago, and I never imagined anyone walking me down the aisle. If my dad was around I probably would have had him walk me, but for me personally I'm not in to the "giving away" "escorting". I'll be over 30 by the time we get married, living on my own for quite some time, set up home & career wise, FI & I are paying for our wedding 100%. I don't feel as if is should be "given away" It's never appealed to me.  They are very old-fashioned and just didn't get/accept this. "I see you as one of our own.", "[my father's name] wold never forgive me" <strong>and some comment about it being accompanied with a "nice check to get us started" (as if that mattered).</strong> I was able to change the topic but I know this isn't going to go away. Any suggestions on how to tactfully deal with this? I don't want to hurt feelings. I do love and care for them, they are the closest thing to family. 
  Posted by Rose March[/QUOTE]
  
  Blackmailing you to have your godfather walk you down the aisle?  I understand the sentimentality of him wanting to walk you down, but if this comment were made to me, I would have probably blanked out and said things that are totally against my nature. 
  
  Perhaps instead of waling you down the aisle, they may wish to honor their relationship to you by giving a toast at the reception, or do a reading at the ceremony, or share a special dance?  If you are opposed to walking down the aise with anyone (you mentioned that you were against it even if your father was alive), you can find a way to accomodate their relationship to you in another way aside from the aisle.  You're between a rock and a hard place, but I think there are certainly ways to honor these special people in your life AND still have the wedding you wanted.

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