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August 2011 Weddings

NWR: Need some advice

I have a situation on which I would love some advice/suggestions. My FI and I both live in Central VA and his parents live in Northern AL. I spent four days last Thanksgiving with his family...they are very kind and I enjoyed my vist. This year, we are spending Thanksgiving with my family. His parents have invited us to spend a few days with them at a resort in TN the week before Thanksgiving. I was so excited that they invited me and I was really looking forward to it. I found out, though, that his younger sister (who I have never met) is bringing one of her friends from college out in CA. Okay, no problem. Then, my FI informed me that his mother is expecting me to stay in the same hotel room with these girls I have never met (for 3 nights). I feel that this will be rather uncomfortable. First of all, I am several years older than they are (I'm 27) and I feel that we already don't have a lot in common. Secondly, they both know each other and I will be the odd man out. Also, I am a little shy when I meet new people and it takes me awhile before I can be myself. Then, sometimes I snore which is really embarrassing. I won't even go to sleep on airplanes because of this. Anyways, I just don't know what to do. I want to go...I would love to get to know his family better before we get married. I don't have enough money to buy my own hotel room for that many nights and there is no way his parents will let us stay in the same room. Sigh...what to do. My FI has trouble putting himself in other people's shoes so he doesn't see a problem with it although I've tried to explain it to him by asking him how he would like to stay in the same room with my younger brother who he barely knows for several nights. That seemed to help him understand a little better. I don't want to sound rude and ungrateful to his parents because it is so kind of them to invite me. What should I do? How would you approach this situation?
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Re: NWR: Need some advice

  • Honestly, I would just grin and bare it.  It's only for a few nights and your FI will be going on the trip with you so its not like you will be spending the entire time with these girls.  Just give them the heads up that you might snore and maybe get some cheap ear plugs as a joke to give to them.  Going into the situation negatively is not going to help so don't overthink it, I am sure you will have a great time.
  • I'm sorry about the sticky situation!  It's tricky to travel with significant others' families, until it's been done a few times.  I do think that it might be better to have the little sister's friend there in the room with you.  I think it would alleviate the pressure on you to make her (little sis) your best friend by having her other friend around.  It's awkward to have one-on-one time with someone you don't know at all.  And, I'm sure you won't be in the room too much anyway.  That's not to negate your concerns; I just think the friend might be helpful in this situation.  As for the snoring, I got nothing there...  I do know that anyone mature isn't going to judge you for something you cannot control!  Just apologize in advance. :P

    Either way, I would still go!  GL.
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  • My advice...close your eyes, count to ten, and take some deep breaths.  The first time I met my fiance's entire family we went to his grandparents for their anniversary and had to stay over night.  I was told I would be sharing a bed with my fiance's (boyfriend at the time) sister.  It was awkward and for every family trip since (including a week in myrtle beach) I've shared a bed with one of his sisters.  You'll be fine! 

    As far as the age differenc & the fact that they're friends...it's only an issue if you make it one.  I'm sure your sister will have tons of questons about the wedding to ask & if you bring some Bride magazines I'm sure you'll find topics in common. 

    It's only 3 nights...if you snore...you snore..it happens to the best of us.  This is a great opportunity for you to spend time with your fiance's family, dont snub them because of your insecurities.  Enjoy your time with them, they'll soon be family!

  • I second what amy and jenna both said, but also add that if you're really worried about being able to afford a room for yourself, you can always politely tell them that you just can't afford the trip right now. 
  • Thanks for all of the advice/suggestions :) You ladies are the best! I'm sure I'm just being over anxious (nothing new. lol) and that it will all turn out alright and I'll end up having a great time. I talked to my grandma about it last night (she is the best for advice) and she thinks I should go so as not to get off on the wrong foot with his family. I've only met them once before (and talked to his mom on the phone a couple times) but they seem to be very nice kind people and I would hate for us not to have a good relationship, especially since FI is so close to his family.
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  • I would go as well, and I agree with what everyone else said, especially having the best friend there. You can always just stay up really late w FI that way you aren't stuck in a room wide awake with the 2 girls.

    August 2011: E-Pic! Photobucket
    229 image Invited to celebrate!
    191 image Remembered to RSVP!
    26 image Can't make it
    7 image Got lost on the way to the mailbox

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  • I agree with everyone else as well. No reason not to go.

    If I were you, and if you have access to a car, maybe have your fiance take you out every night, or most nights, just for coffee or drinks before you go to the room. That way you get to spend some time alone with him (sort of like a vacation), and reduce the amount of time you are in the room with his sis & friend. Plus, it gives them some time to be together just the 2 of them.

    My guess is lil sis is also feeling a bit put out as well....... she gets to stay in a hotel room with her best friend, and YOU are going to be there.

    I'd also take along a deck of cards to play some games with them (or solitaire for you), or a laptop if you have one so you can look busy, LOL, for any awkward moments.
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