MIL, maybe drama?

arbinkley · March 2012

my almost momma in law asked if we could have the photographer (which she is paying for) take pictures of just her and her husband and then pictures of her daughter's family. not with us (the ones getting married) just them. im not sure how i feel about it. i thought this day was so posed to be all about us? i think i might be offended but im not sure.. what do ya think?

snr1 · March 2012

I would say its not a big deal for the photog to snap a few shots of them. If it turned into an all out photo shoot for them, then I would be a little offended. They will have to buy the prints if they actually want them anyways.

ski2play · March 2012

No worries, it is quite common for additional photos to be taken of individual families during the day. Everyone is all dressed up and assembled so it make perfect sense. It will only take a few minutes to shoot these other groups. It will give you and the groom a little break.

Juris11 · March 2012

My aunt and uncle hadn't had a nice picture of them taken with their kids in years. My mom asked if the photographer could take a nice picture of them while they were all dressed up. I didn't have any problem with it, and I seriously didn't even notice it happen, but they were really happy to have a nice family picture. If it is just one or two pictures, it really isn't going to be a big deal.

MrsBee11 · March 2012

This seems like it's okay. She is paying, so it's kind of her call. The only way I could see this being a problem is if the photog missed important parts of the wedding or reception because he was off photographing extended family or if the photo shoot went on for a long time. But unless you predict that being a problem for some reason, I wouldn't worry too much about it.

cwaggoner07 · March 2012

I think it's a great idea for them, and it shouldn't intrude on your day.

zitiqueen · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_mil-maybe-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:be8d769d-d026-4dac-a30e-63cfb56f15e4Post:57f4897a-cce5-426c-8ecd-06ef14e56064">MIL, maybe drama?</a>:
[QUOTE]my almost momma in law asked if we could have the photographer (which she is paying for) take pictures of just her and her husband and then pictures of her daughter's family. not with us (the ones getting married) just them. im not sure how i feel about it. i thought this day was so posed to be all about us? i think i might be offended but im not sure.. what do ya think?
Posted by arbinkley[/QUOTE]

I think you need to stop looking for things to be offended by. You also need to lose the "all about us" attitude. Once you involve other people (guests) it stops being all about you.

RailWayWife · March 2012

It shouldnt take long, I wouldnt worry about it.

HobokensFury · March 2012

If she's paying for it she can have them take pictures of whoever she wants.

Maggie0829 · March 2012

Why is this annoying you?

Just let them get their pictures taken...it will be a nice break for you and your new H to just relax and talk without having to be constantly posing and smiling.

Not. A. Big. Deal.

achiduck · March 2012

This is really not uncommon as a PP stated and as long as it's just a few shots here and there it's not a big deal. If it starts turning into a full on hour long photoshoot, then that's not cool.

lyndausvi · March 2012

Offended? Really? You feel offended that ::gasp:: a few pictures will not include you or your FI? I don't know about you, but we had 2 photographers with 10 hours of unlimited picture taking. At some point I was getting tired of a camera being in my face. I was thrilled to have the camera turned on someone else.

FWIW - in my family it's pretty normal. You know you don't have to buy a print of every picture taken right? I actually had the photographer setup in an area so people could take family shots. Some of my favorite pictures were of guests without DH and I in the picture. One picture is of my great aunt. It was the last picture taken of her and her family because she died a few months later.

ceh789 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_mil-maybe-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:be8d769d-d026-4dac-a30e-63cfb56f15e4Post:57f4897a-cce5-426c-8ecd-06ef14e56064">MIL, maybe drama?</a>:
[QUOTE]i thought this day was so posed to be all about us? i think i might be offended but im not sure.. what do ya think?
Posted by arbinkley[/QUOTE]
Nope, it's not supposed to be all about you. If you wanted it to be all about you then you shouldn't have invited anyone.<div>
</div><div>I think if you choose to be offended that's really strange.</div><div>
</div><div>My photog will be doing many family photos with different configurations that do not include FI & I. Some of my favorite photos from my sister's wedding are just our nuclear family (without her husband) and I hope to be able to gift my family with the same.</div>

mbody · March 2012

I've been to weddings where the photographer set up a back drop and stool to take legit family or couple phots w/o the bride and groom.

I don't think it's uncommon at all to take pictures with out the bride and groom.

Calm down- this isn't a big deal. Don't go gettin' yourself all worked up over nothing.

MiksChick23 · March 2012

I am having my photographer take pictures of my WP with their SOs so I can frame them and give them to them. I know they will love having a nice professional picture with their husband/BF/GF. If she is paying for it, I'd let it go, if she wasn't and you were being charged for the extra prints, then I'd be peeved.

zitiqueen · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_mil-maybe-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:be8d769d-d026-4dac-a30e-63cfb56f15e4Post:ccb34fe7-7059-48ad-b9a0-378106bdce03">Re: MIL, maybe drama?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've been to weddings where the photographer set up a back drop and stool to take legit family or couple phots w/o the bride and groom.Posted by mbody[/QUOTE]

AKA "obituary photos."

pattib5 · March 2012

Personally, I'd love that their family portrait would be from my wedding.

vexie · March 2012

It's no big deal... so long as you let your photographer know in advance so it can be factored in time-wise. You don't want non-wedding photos of family members to prevent you from getting the shots you want from your day. Maybe set aside a specific time during the reception for those pictures?

smmessinger · March 2012

I like the idea. It's a family get together celebrating a special day and while I am sure they love you very much it would be nice for the attendants to have a family picture for your special day. You could put them in your wedding book because you never know what could happen.

afink07 · March 2012

No big deal. A second cousin of mine had the photographer taking pictures of families at her wedding and it was great. My grandma was able to get pictures of all her kids families since none of us had had family pictures in years. It was great cause we were all dressed up anyways. Just make sure it's during the dancing time after all the special dances and then you don't have to worry about really missing anything.

arbinkley · March 2012

Woah! To the people that responded with neutral responses... thank you. To the people that responded by biting my head off for asking the question and saying i "might" be offended, I'm glad you aren't coming to this wedding. I don't have a "photog" for 10 hours, and there aren't 2 of them either. My life isn't spent on this website so the people that responded with acronym's, you lost me. And the English professor, man get a life! Thought this was a place to get help with wedding planning and a "how to" deal with everything, not a place for the crazy wedding chicks to beat up on someone asking for their opinion.

zitiqueen · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_mil-maybe-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:be8d769d-d026-4dac-a30e-63cfb56f15e4Post:29ef6b33-5b2a-490d-b0a3-6aacb42171f0">Re: MIL, maybe drama?</a>:
[QUOTE]Woah! To the people that responded with neutral responses... thank you. To the people that responded by biting my head off for asking the question and saying i "might" be offended, I'm glad you aren't coming to this wedding. I don't have a "photog" for 10 hours, and there aren't 2 of them either. My life isn't spent on this website so the people that responded with acronym's, you lost me. And the English professor, man get a life!<strong> Thought this was a place to get help with wedding planning and a "how to" deal with everything, not a place for the crazy wedding chicks to beat up on someone asking for their opinion.
</strong>Posted by arbinkley[/QUOTE]

You did get help with how to deal with this. You were told it's not a big deal and you need to un-clench over something so trivial that you aren't even paying for anyway. What you didn't get what head-patting and there-theres and "How dare they consider taking the spotlight off of you for even five minutes!" You also got the opinions you asked for; clearly they weren't what you wanted to hear.

arbinkley · March 2012

who are you? besides kind of a bitch that thinks its her place to tell everyone what she thinks? geeze woman, get a life!

zitiqueen · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_mil-maybe-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:be8d769d-d026-4dac-a30e-63cfb56f15e4Post:f35bf08a-7b0d-48ba-b5f5-dcebe6911dfd">Re: MIL, maybe drama?</a>:
[QUOTE]who are you? besides kind of a bitch that thinks its her place to tell everyone what she thinks? geeze woman, get a life!
Posted by arbinkley[/QUOTE]

If you didn't want to know what other people thought, why on earth did you come here asking for people to tell you what they thought?

MIL, maybe drama?

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