STRESSING...

FutureMzHayden · January 2012

So I've been doing everything for this wedding from the beginning and I think that now the stress is starting to get to me. BUT I can't afford to take a break because if I do then somethings won't get done. I'm just needing a little inspiration!!

FutureMzHayden · January 2012

My FI is currently OVERSEAS and my MOH hasn't helped with anything!!

yabassa423 · January 2012

Well I kind of did my wedding planning all by myself also. I had it preplan before I even got engaged. I was so happy that everything fell right in place. I just changed the colors like three times. My FI just say it's your day baby whatever you like show me and we did the food/ cake tasting, pick the venue, photographer, programs, invitations and picked the suits out together. I'm let my FI pick all the music. My venue is doing most of the things like the linen, center pieces, fresh flowers, place cards, uplighting all is in the price already.It's all in one so I was lucky and blessed. Did you tell your MOH you wanted her to be more involved in the planning?

FutureMzHayden · January 2012

I've tried to tell her in so many ways that I would like her to be MORE involved. I've done everything myself, especially since my FI is overseas. We skype on some things so that he is included in things. The one thing I asked her to do a few weeks ago I've yet to see her do anything.... Really pissed!!

Gabrielle76 · January 2012

I'm sorry our FI isn't there to help you, just think of how overjoyed he will be when he sees the wonderful wedding you have put together!

As for your MOH, the only thing she is required to do is show up to the wedding in the right dress. It's nice when the bridal party chooses to help with the preparations, but it is not required, and she shouldn't be expected to do more than that.

Have you tried asking for help from your mom of your FMIL? If they live nearby perhaps they would be interested in helping you with some wedding tasks. Even if they can't though, don't worry. Remember, you CAN do this, and it will be wonderful!

cwaggoner07 · January 2012

It sounds like you won't be able to count on your MOH, and that doesn't make her a bad MOH at all, you just kind of know where she stands.
Once you prioritze what is important and make sure those things are how y'all want, and follow the checklist on the knot... everything WILL come together.
Every bride feels like you do at some point... it's hard not to get overwhelmed. You're in great company... and we are here to help you!

kara811 · January 2012

OP, I was in the same position as you. My H was stationed overseas during our planning and he was on deployment most of the time so I had to do everything on my own. My MOH and BMs didn't live in the same state as me too, so I didn't get much help from them.

Don't worry or stress yourself out too much, things will be fine and you will get them done. You should take a break if you are feeling this stressed out. I agree about asking family to help you out. TK was also very helpful to me throughout my planning, especially the message boards.

ShakeUpTampa · January 2012

At 7 months the only things we had done were the venues booked. I am still waiting on one venue to get back with me on a time slot and we are about a month out now. Payments are due next week. Make a list of PRIORITIES and then things that you can do as you have free time. Making a huge list and crossing things off usually inspires me. I need to make a list NOW. I also bought for the first time not business related: a personal planner. Good thing I did because I nearly over extended myself for six things on Monday when I can only realistically fit four of those appointments.

It's too soon to put deposits on the bridal parties outfits..normally dresses for them take 10-12 weeks to come in so you would figure at about five months order.

Start a pinterest with boards to inspire you along the way.

Have a glass of wine.

MrsBee11 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_stressing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:c02a9e75-9202-483a-a8d2-45d12d498302Post:a377e14e-1d1c-4d9e-a4a2-0be38369fab9">Re: STRESSING...</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I've tried to tell her in so many ways that I would like her to be MORE involved. </strong> I've done everything myself, especially since my FI is overseas. We skype on some things so that he is included in things. The one thing I asked her to do a few weeks ago I've yet to see her do anything.... Really pissed!!
Posted by FutureMzHayden[/QUOTE]

Why does anyone have to be involved in planning YOUR event? If you want something done, then do it yourself. It's nice if people offer to help but they are in no way obligated to do so. If planning your wedding is causing you so much stress, then maybe it's time to cut back on things or simplify it until it gets to a level that you can deal with.

mbody · January 2012

Sorry your FI isn't with you to be more of a help. Just take one thing at a time. Prioritize. Scale Back- decide if something is really needed or not. If not, cut it out. That will make things easier.

StephBeanWed61502 · January 2012

What exactly are you having a problem with? Maybe weddings are different here, but I don't feel like any decisions I've had to make have been all that difficult - we chose a venue that includes food, alcohol, and cake in their pp price, to avoid having to find a separate caterer/bartender/baker. Then for the other vendors, we set a budget, talked to 3-4 of each type, and went with the person we liked who had a package within our budget. Are you doing a lot of DIY or something? If so, just stop. The "savings" of DIY aren't worth it if it's making you this stressed out.

FutureMzHayden · January 2012

The problem I'm having with my MOH is that she has stated a many of times that she is WILLING and ABLE to help. SO when I've asked for help or hinted that I need her help of course she's not about to do it. It's always something else going on that she can never take the time to help. BUT I mind you if I suggest we go have DRINKS to unwind she will MAKE time.

I spoke to my mother about the situation and she advised me to just on weekends take care of wedding stuff little by little and that she would LOVE to help. And my FI stated the same things that everyone else has... make a list and go off the list. Thank GOD he will be home in MARCH!!

MrsBee11 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_stressing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:c02a9e75-9202-483a-a8d2-45d12d498302Post:fc3d3f9d-8fcc-4da4-8d54-23a9bd8d7a4a">Re: STRESSING...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: STRESSING... : If she offered you're not out of line to ask, but maybe she changed her mind. Next time you want her to help buy some wine and ask for her help, letting her know you have the wine. Turn it into a fun girl's night with wine, movies and just a bit of wedding planning thrown in. Maybe she'll be more receptive.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

Yeah, this is basically what I did. Although, I didn't have any issues with BM's, fortunately. The couple of times I even asked for some assistance with something, we turned it into time to hang out a bullshiit with eachother anyway.

OP, if she offered to help, I can understand your frustration. But at the same time, being annoyed about it doesn't help the process along for you. I'd just let it go, and do what you can do. Maybe take some time to prioritze what needs to be doen sooner and take care of that first. If you can do a couple of things each week and check them off, you'll feel much more accomplished and in control. And then you don't need to stress.

Good luck!

juliebug1997 · January 2012

If I needed help, I asked my mom before my MOH. Is your mom in a position to help you with this stuff.

smlucas06 · January 2012

Agreed! Especially on the part where you can take a day off! Good Luck, I'm sure it will be wonderful!

2012FutureMrsB · January 2012

With less than 5 months to go, I recently hired a DOC for $500. She is extending her services with no additional charge and is going to meet with me several times before the wedding and help me plan - she's amazing! And totally worth the money. If I had to, I'd take out a loan just to pay for a planner/DOC.

Hilraythebride · January 2012

Here is a sentance of inspiration for you!

A wedding is a day, a mariage is a lifetime!

STRESSING...

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