Just needing to share my emotional moment with other brides...my MOH did a great job talking with me, but its hard for her to understand entirely.
My fiance's best friend got called about a great deal on cruises since he went on one over the spring, so he suggested it to Nate for his bachelor party. Now, let me set the stage. The original ideas I heard for the bachelor party were skydiving or paintballing...a little more feasible. When I heard those plans I thought a spa day with the girls or a day in Disney! Now he's got this 4 day cruise they're planning! Did I mention over a year ago I suggested to him a cruise sometime and he wasn't all that interested, whereas I have wanted to go on a cruise forever?!?
...now I'm not jealous of the cruise, honestly I'm really not. What is bothering me is the fact that he and his friends can afford to go party (PG style mind you...) for 4 days, whereas my friends and I can't. All his closest friends live in our town, whereas only one of my bridesmaids is even in this state. So in planning anything I have to wonder if anyone will even be able to come and if they can, factor plane tickets in before we can figure money for anything else.
The bigger issue is this just gave me another reminder of how I am not financially stable right now. I lost my job back in May and was paid through the end of July, but since then have been living on an extremely small amount I had saved. I was hired as a substitute teacher, but haven't gotten to actually do it yet. I couldn't pay my half of the rent this month, and every time money is mentioned, whether its me or someone else paying it, it stresses me out and brings out crazy emotions.
So all of this brought to surface all kinds of terrible emotions and I was in tears on the phone with MOH and then got on some other tangent which made me cry every harder when I realized I miss my babies (the kids I used to nanny who I haven't seen in 2 months...longest I went without seeing them before was 2 days!!!)
I'm just an emotional blubbering basketcase and I had get it out somehow.