Invitation wording

Re: Invitation wording

• agapecarrie member

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  If one of the couple isn't baptized, it isn't a sacrament. Its a natural marriage.

  Report0 Reply
• Calypso1977 member

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  can get get baptized prior to the wedding?
  
  i agree, its odd if you are in your 30's and paying for your own wedding to have your parents names on there.  i also have never understood why parents get so worked up about this!  weddings are not about or for the parents, they are about the bride and groom, yet so many today make it all abotu them.
  
  you could do:
  
  Melissa SM
  daughter of motherSM
  and
  MelissaSMsGroom
  son of Mr. and Mrs. Groom
  
  request the honor...
  
  that way her name is on there but still has you as the host.
  
  traditionally, the groom's parents names never went on invites... the proper place for this was on wedding announcements.  however, more do this now, and if you want to put your mom's name on there in the format i suggested, it woudl probably be viewed as aslight if your in laws werent on there too.
  

  Report0 Reply
• Melissasm77

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  Thanks for the responses so far-very helpful.
  
  He was raised in a christian household and actually thought that he had been baptized, until he asked his mother. He is planning to become catholic and is currently attending mass with me, but due to several circumstances will be starting classes Sept of 2011.  We are getting married 2/19/11, so even if he started RCIA this fall, he wouldn't receive the sacraments before then.  Our wedding date was selected because one of my brothers is being deployed next spring, so we moved our date from 4/30 to 2/19.  If we were younger, I would just wait until after he receives the sacraments, but we are almost in our mid thirties and we would like to have children. 
  
  Our priest mentioned that Casey could look around for a protestant church that would agree to baptize him, but this felt a little wrong to us (meaning to do this just for the wedding, rather than when Casey has had time to prepare).  I would love to hear your opinion on this.  Outside of any wedding issue which is secondary in my mind to Casey's spiritual life, do you think it is more important that he be baptized ASAP, or when he has had time to prepare and enter into all of the sacraments with "informed consent" so to speak?
  
  Yikes, this is long, sorry!

  

  Report0 Reply
• agapecarrie member

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  I totally understand your situation. The fact is though, it won't be a sacrament until he is baptized.
  
  I would not recommend getting baptized in another church.
  You can request a special consideration to do a faster personal RCIA formation, for him to be baptized before your wedding, receive all the sacraments, then you can have a mass for your wedding too. (if they honor your request).
  
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• mswood1977 member

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  On the bright side you marriage will instantly become a sacrament as soon has you FI is baptized,  and you marriage will be valid in the church either way.  I recomend he wait to be baptized in the Catholic church rather than just being baptized somewhere before the wedding.

  Mommy 3 Months Old Tristan 3 Months Old

  Report0 Reply
• Calypso1977 member

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  i woudl see if they can at least baptize him CATHOLIC now, then go through RCIA for confirmation at the date he's slated to start.  if he truly wants to be catholic, i dont see the point of being baptized in another religion.

  Report0 Reply
• Melissasm77

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  Thanks for the advice ladies, I will definitely discuss this with our priest tomorrow after mass.

  

  Report0 Reply
• clearheavens member

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_invitation-wording-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:8420322a-dd13-4c15-9cd3-4cd527e162cfPost:075402ab-ca1e-4044-b3a6-8eb50c0e2a84">Re: Invitation wording</a>:
  [QUOTE]I totally understand your situation. The fact is though, it won't be a sacrament until he is baptized. I would not recommend getting baptized in another church. You can request a special consideration to do a faster personal RCIA formation, for him to be baptized before your wedding, receive all the sacraments, then you can have a mass for your wedding too. (if they honor your request).
  Posted by agapecarrie[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>As usual, I second agapecarrie.  I also applaud how you are taking care of your FI and his spiritual life.</div><div>
  </div><div>As for the second issue, if you bring it to the Tradition or Etiquette board, I think you will also get mixed answers.  My personal opinion, though?  Both you and your FI were brought up by parents, and to honor them, put both names on the invitation regardless of who's hosting.  No one cares who's hosting.</div>

  
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• mica178 member

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  I agree with everyone's recommendation about seeing if your priest speed up RCIA and/or baptize your FI before the wedding.
  
  As far as your wedding invitation...  Paying for a wedding is different from hosting a wedding.  You and your FI are paying for it, but if your mother is involved in planning it, she can be considered a host and can have her name on the invitation.  If you want it to be there, that is.  If she is listed as a host, her name should be above yours, as the couple's name is supposed to be uninterrupted by anything other than AND or TO (in Catholic weddings, the correct wording would be AND).

  **Bio**

  Report0 Reply
• banana468 member

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  Ditto on speeding up the Baptism.
  
  But just one point on Calypso's wording.  It's technically incorrect as there aren't supposed to be any words between the bride's and groom's names aside from and or to.  It's symbolic that someone is going between you two.
  

  Report0 Reply
• Melissasm77

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  Thank you all so much for your thoughtful advice, I really appreciate it.

  

  Report0 Reply