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Catholic Weddings

HELP!! Can't choose my officiant

I am Baptized in the Catholic church, but my parents aren't religious. My Fiance was baptized in the Catholic Church, but isn't religious. Both of our Grandparents are dedicated Catholics. Here is my sticky situation. My family friend(who is more of a great uncle then a friend), who was in the vietnam war, side by side with my Grandfather, is a catholic priest, and not only baptized my sister and I but also all my aunts and uncles. I would LOVE for him to "marry" me and my fiance. So my question is, Could I have him marry us outside of a church, even though it isn't going to be a religious wedding?

Re: HELP!! Can't choose my officiant

  • Riss91Riss91 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I think if you are not getting married in the church and not wanting a Catholic ceremony, then it is likely that a Catholic priest will not perform your marriage ceremony. You might need to find someone else to officiate.
  • bel138bel138 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm so confused.First of all, I don't know what this has to do with not being able to choose your officiant. You can choose whomever you want to marry you.I would LOVE for him to "marry" me and my fiance.Do you mean actually, legally marry you? Or perform a fake religious ceremony for show for your family?Either way, it won't fly. A priest will not perform a non-Catholic marriage ceremony because they are bound to only perform sacraments in accordance with canon law. He also won't do a fake religious ceremony after you've been legally married. That is preposterous.
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  • edited December 2011
    If you are not going to get married in the church he cannot marry you, but he can do a blessing at your reception.
  • meltoinemeltoine member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Ditto PPsBut it should also be said that since you are both baptised, the Church will only recognise your marriage if it happens within the Church according to canon law. From the sound of it, this may not matter to you much right now, but it may affect your family members - especially older ones. Pre 1970s the Church taught that Catholics may not attend the wedding of two Catholics outside of the Church, since according to the Church, no wedding is really taking place- therefore to witness one, even as a guest, was considered sinful. The Church has since relaxed this restriction and it now only applies to your official witnesses (MOH & Best man), but older people can be sticky about it.Also, IDK what your plans are for later in life, but if you think you may want to have your kids baptised more conservative parishes may give you a problem about it.
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  • edited December 2011
    uh, what does "marry" mean?  catholic priests do not marry outside of a catholic church.  and to be honest it doesn't sound like religion is really important to you or your family nor your fi, so why bother at all?
  • nuremenoshnuremenosh member
    edited December 2011
    No way.
  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I don't think it would work - and you may be putting him in a position of going against the church by doing so.
  • edited December 2011
    Priests actually CAN perform weddings outside of the Church but if the couple is Catholic and opting not to have a Church wedding they will in most cases refuse to do it.
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