Respect Issues

Stina51286 · January 2012

So besides the boss' daughter I am the youngest one in our firm. Everyone else is 40+. My boss started the company after leaving his partnership in 2009 and I went with him. Since then he hired on another attorney, her paralegal, and a secretary all from the same office.

Since they have gotten here there is a lack of respect towards me and I know its the age difference, why do some 40+ yr olds want to listen to a 25 yr old? To make matters worse, my promotion last week my boss named me the official office manager. Any vacation times needed, it goes through him then to me to track it. If they call in sick they must call my cell by 7 am. Well this struck hard with one lady in particular and now I get nothing but attitude from her for other things that she now has to report to me.

Okay, yes she does have experience on me, however, she does not have the management education that I have. She never went to school for anything besides to be a paralegal, I have a bachelors in business management. I have also worked for my boss for almost five years, went from one crappy situation, helped him build up his own practice from almost ground zero, these other girls just came here because they didn't like their other employers.

Has anyone else encountered this? If so, what did you do? Im getting frustrated and afraid to even say one thing wrong.

QuiltingNurse · January 2012

I hate when that happens! I'm working in a Nursing home right now and responsible for the PSW's on my floor. I'm quite a bit younger than most people I work with and HATE telling them what to do. I feel awkward when there is something going on between them and I have to talk to them and remind them we're here for the residents not to deal with our own problems. Some of these people have been doing their job for 20+ years and I only graduated 2 years ago so they have MUCH more experience than I do, but I'm in charge.

I try to not take things personally, I give them their space to do their job and I do mine. No one has given me a hard time for it yet, but just stand your ground and if they say things just remind them you're in that position and they need to follow company policy on certain things. Do your job, and don't let hard feelings get in your way. You deserve your job and you're obviously good at what you do, otherwise you wouldn't have gotten the promotion!

audrewuh · January 2012

I'm so sorry you're getting attitude like that!

I'm one of the youngest in my profession (that has the education I have) and I am the youngest on staff as well. The best thing I've learned over the last year is you have to stick to your guns. Be confident in the decisions you make and the conversations you have with these women. You have been given a promotion and authority for a reason, so don't be afraid to use it because these b!tches are giving you the stink eye. Remain polite and kind, even when they may not deserve it.

Good luck! And hugs!

jorja86 · January 2012

I don't know if I have any useful advice, other than to tell you that it sounds like you definitely deserve the position that you have. So, try to remind yourself that there is a reason your boss gave you that promotion.

I have been in situations where the only reason people had a problem with me was that they didn't know me, and they were older and had more experience than me, although never where I was in a management position over them. My policy was always "kill them with kindness". It hard for most people to continue to be nasty to someone who is super sweet to them all the time. This is not to say that you deserve to be a doormat, in any way.

Don't feed into any drama these people may create. "I'm sorry you feel that way" is a great line. Refer any concerns with your authority to your boss. Remind them (as nicely as you can) of your new role, and have them take it up with the boss if they have issues with that. Don't argue with them, it's not worth it.

Stina51286 · January 2012

Thanks ladies! This is starting to help. Its never gotten to the point of argument before but you can tell in the one person's voice that she's not happy about it. My point is, if your not happy, leave! lol

NurseyK · January 2012

That is so frustrating. I dealt with that until I turned 29 (last summer). For whatever reason, that must be the magical number where people with kids, teens or grandkids start to respect us youngins.

All you can do is keep your cool and remain professional. Show her that while you are the manager, you aren't trying to step on her toes by giving her space if she needs it. Hmmm :-/

lunarsongbird · January 2012

I've always been significantly younger then the people I work with.
I'm also now giving resume advice to people older then my dad and making three times my salary. Odd.

I've been told that dressing uber professionally helps. ::shrugs::

doubleSS07 · January 2012

I've always been quite a bit younger than the people I worked with as well and the last 2 positions I was in were managerial and I know there were some who hated the fact that I was young. Luckily for me those were at a large corporation and I basically told them that they aren't my rules I just have to make you follow them. If you don't like the rules then you'll have to take it up with the folks that make them.

Like PP's said though, you were given the promotion based on your skill level, your schooling and lets face it probably your loyalty as well. There's nothing wrong with that being rewarded. They need to get over themselves and follow the protocol set up by your boss and yourself. If things start getting out of line let them know that you'd be happy to have a sit down with them and the boss to talk about it. Just don't let them walk all over you because then they will know they can and use it All.The.Time

Stina51286 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_respect-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:4f7e2e8c-5ec1-4d05-a175-979be2f746b2Post:7bee52c8-be9b-4807-a0d2-11836ca86d5f">Re: Respect Issues</a>:
[QUOTE]I've always been quite a bit younger than the people I worked with as well and the last 2 positions I was in were managerial and I know there were some who hated the fact that I was young. Luckily for me those were at a large corporation and I basically told them that they aren't my rules I just have to make you follow them. If you don't like the rules then you'll have to take it up with the folks that make them. Like PP's said though, you were given the promotion based on your skill level, your schooling and lets face it probably your loyalty as well. There's nothing wrong with that being rewarded. <strong>They need to get over themselves and follow the protocol set up by your boss and yourself. If things start getting out of line let them know that you'd be happy to have a sit down with them and the boss to talk about it. </strong>Just don't let them walk all over you because then they will know they can and use it All.The.Time
Posted by doubleSS07[/QUOTE]

Completely Agree, thanks!

csousa1 · January 2012

My boss is only six months older than me and not as educated as I am. And you know what? That means nothing. I still have to respect him and work well with him because HE'S MY SUPERVISOR.

Whether you are this woman's supervisor or manager or just someone she has to answer to for vacation time, it makes no difference that she has more experience and she's older. Your boss put you in that position and not her, and she has to respect it.

Depending on how recent this is, she may just still be adjusting and working out her butthurt over it. Give it a little time and see if it settles down naturally. If it gets to the point where it is truly uncomfortable for you, can you speak plainly with your boss about it?

HULU · February 2012

Out of the 20 people that work at my store, my boss is the 7th youngest. He's only 25. But every single person that works there respects him, because he's a good worker, he knows what he's doing, and he has the motivation to get it done. He would bend over backwards to help his employees. He's an absolute joy to work with.

Sounds like your boss feels the same way about you, so you should be proud!

I've found that the majority of my most disrespectful customers are 40+. They feel they shouldn't have to listen to someone who (in their eyes) is still a baby. But, in the end, his word is law, and they can either take it or leave it.

Stina51286 · February 2012

You ladies made me feel better on the situation, thanks!

Csousa, yes if if continues I will go to him. This isn't the first time its happened and she knows the role I've had since they came into our office and knowing very well that Ive worked for the owner/boss the whole time.

HULU, the thing that irritates me is that I am the only non-atty employee who actually works 40+ hours. This girl giving me attitude only works 37, if that if you could her eating lunch and facebooking at her desk and then going home for an hour after that to let her dog out and prepare dinner. So I know where my boss is coming from with giving me this position and hopefully its just the shock of things right now and she slows her roll.

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