Not Engaged Yet

What would you think about this?

My bf left for work yesterday morning around 4:30am (he had to be in for 5am).  He did the typical kiss me on my cheek while I was sleeping and mumbled "good bye see you in 12 hours." 

Fast forward to 4pm, he walks through the door.  I'm on the phone with a friend of mine from South Carolina.  We were just finishing up our conversation and when I hung up my bf sat and stared at me like I had 30 heads.  I asked him why he was staring at me in my jeans and sweat shirt glory.  He said that he likes the way my jeans fit my a$$.  I laugh and walk away to go get my sneakers so I could leave and pick up my son.

As I'm putting my shoes on my bf asks "Do you want to get married?" To which I looked at him and asked him if he was serious.  He of course nodded and said absolutely.  I told him we could continue the discussion after he gets home from Puppy class.

It's now around 830pm.  He walks in the door from Puppy class, and asks again. I responded with "only if you're ready."  He then goes on to say "I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that we will be as happy as we are now, if not happier, when we're married and that we'll be married for a long time."  My jaw hit the floor.  I repeated myself and said only if he's ready. 

I got busy folding the 4 loads of his laundry that I did through out the day (I wish it would wash, dry, fold and put itself away!!).  When I looked over at him, he was on my laptop. I asked him what he was looking at and he said "nothing." I went over and looked over his shoulder and saw what he was looking at.  Engagment rings.  Pretty ones. Expensive ones. I just smiled and went about folding the laundry. 

This morning, I woke up to a kiss on the cheek and a "think about what we talked about last night...see you this afternoon." 

I just got a text message with a picture of an engagment ring asking if I'd wear something like it. 

What would you think about this?  My stomach is filled with butterflies.  I mean, we've talked about getting married before, but never to this extent where he's actually looking at engagement rings.  He's been engaged 2x before and both of his ex's cheated on him because he works so much and can be pretty lazy on the weekends if there isn't something to do/going on.  (I don't mind lazy...I like lazy weekends!)

Just not sure what to think.  I'm trying to push it to the back of my mind, but the texts are making it hard to do so.....

Michelle & Ronnie

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Re: What would you think about this?

  • SwazzleSwazzle member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    VERY EXCITING!!!!!  

    It sounds like your BF wants to marry you & you want to marry him.  If he's asking for your opinion on engagement rings you need to decide if you want to be apart of the process or not.  My FI & I looked at rings together so I could get a feel for what I like & don't like.  The ring I had always dreamed of I did'nt like on my hand at all so I'm really glad we went & I was able to try different styles on. I narrowed it down to a few styles, my FI made the final decision on his own, & I absolutely LOVE my ring. 

    Some girls prefer to not know anything about the ring at all & so that's an option also. You need to decide if you want to be involved or not & if you don't then just let him know that when he's ready to pick out the ring you just want to be totally surprised by it.  

    There's nothing wrong with being excited as long as you guys are both on the same page & are openly communicating with one another about it! 



  • edited December 2011

    rdr:  I want to be able to tell him what I like, but I did that once before with my ex of 7 years and although he picked out the ring I absolutely LOVED, it didn't last much longer after his horrible proposal (he didn't get down on one knee, didn't really ask - more like told me to wear the ring).  Not to mention, our relationship was slowly falling apart and I was getting ready to leave him when he 'presented' me the ring. I couldn't even say NO to him because it was on my finger faster then I could get the "I really don't think it's a good idea" response out of my mouth. And now, the ring he bought me is on his new fiance's finger.  How sad and disgusting is that?!   I kind of don't want history to repeat itself.

    But, the ring he did send me is gorgeous and completely my style.......

    Michelle & Ronnie

    image

  • SwazzleSwazzle member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    You kind of need to push that sort of thing out of your mind, just because it didn't work out with your ex doesn't mean the same thing will happen with your current BF.  

    If you want input on your ring then you should tell him what you like & go look together. If you don't, then tell him that. It's entirely up to you (well & your BF but it sounds like he wants your input). But if you want to give him input I wouldn't let what happened with your ex stop you.  Your current BF isn't your ex after all, or I don't think you'd be with him & discussing marriage. 



  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-think-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:e7ca8ac9-98ba-4b83-9de6-109d3b01e921Post:301ef42f-45c5-4b72-b6ad-cb75b057a0b4">Re: What would you think about this?</a>:
    [QUOTE]You kind of need to push that sort of thing out of your mind, just because it didn't work out with your ex doesn't mean the same thing will happen with your current BF.   If you want input on your ring then you should tell him what you like & go look together. If you don't, then tell him that. It's entirely up to you (well & your BF but it sounds like he wants your input). But if you want to give him input I wouldn't let what happened with your ex stop you.  Your current BF isn't your ex after all, or I don't think you'd be with him & discussing marriage. 
    Posted by rdr716[/QUOTE]



    I completely agree. Who could pass up a ring that looks like this?

    <a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/1/10/a13aa87c-d43c-4b3a-8a04-eb4dc157bfcc.large.png" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', 'a13aa87c-d43c-4b3a-8a04-eb4dc157bfcc', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/1/10/a13aa87c-d43c-4b3a-8a04-eb4dc157bfcc.medium.png" alt="" /></a>
    Michelle & Ronnie

    image

  • Stina51286Stina51286 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Ahh thats exciting! Somehow my FI picked out the perfect ring for me without knowing too much of what I like. I probably wouldnt have even picked it out myself. All I told him was that I dont like solitares and it cannot be yellow gold. We also had that talk where he asked me if i'd want to marry him but his conversation ended with well we'll be engaged by this time next year...that sucked!


     

  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-think-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:e7ca8ac9-98ba-4b83-9de6-109d3b01e921Post:06389310-bf7e-4b4c-866c-a28a68302dbd">Re: What would you think about this?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ahh thats exciting! Somehow my FI picked out the perfect ring for me without knowing too much of what I like. I probably wouldnt have even picked it out myself. All I told him was that I dont like solitares and it cannot be yellow gold. <strong>We also had that talk where he asked me if i'd want to marry him but his conversation ended with well we'll be engaged by this time next year...that sucked</strong>!
    Posted by Stina51286[/QUOTE]


    That was my ex, through and through...But my bf now, well he's just plain awesomesauce. I seriously am head over heals for him and he is the same for me.  My bf can't go 12 hours with out "seeing" me.  He just texted me and told me to video chat with him at lunch time.
    Michelle & Ronnie

    image

  • Stina51286Stina51286 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    My FI is one of those guys who says things that he wants to do but its always future stuff. So I knew he would hold to his work on what he said he just wanted to get things paid off (ie boat) and thats what he did so after that was paid is when he went and bought the ring.

    I am lucky though as like your Bf my FI has to call me all the time! lol On my way to work he calls, on my lunch he calls, and on days where I work a second job he calls all just to talk and sometimes its about nothing.

     

  • lunarsongbirdlunarsongbird member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011

    How exciting!!

    Why aren't you sure about what you think?

    LilySlim Weight loss tickers
  • edited December 2011
    That is pretty cool.  I know BF doesn't make a lot, so I say a few weeks ago to do whatever you wanted that was in your budget.  I'd show him stuff but I'd feel like I am pressuring him, and what if I showed him something that was beyond his budget and made him feel awful.  I don't want to do that.

    If he asks for your opinion let him know what you like or don't like.  As long as he is asking.  I'm sure it's hard not to be excited!

    Anniversary

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