this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Chit Chat
Chit Chat
New Discussion

Big deal or no big deal?

musicjailbird7musicjailbird7
10 Comments
in Chit Chat
Ok so my FMIL and FFIL recently asked my fiance's brother and his wife to check out restaurants in the area for our RD. I've lived in this city my whole life, I sent FMIL a whole list of places with menus and pricing options, as well as maps and pros and cons from personal experience. I told her I did want to be involved in the RD, but since she's covering it that I just wanted to help her stay on her budget and find a place she would enjoy. I don't get along with my fiance's brother's wife very well, and I was a little taken aback by them not asking me of my fiance about anything. Am I overreacting and does it totally not matter if they don't want to involve me? Or should I be more assertive and explain how important it is that I help with the RD since I live in the area and I'd like to know about the place it's held? 
Keep in mind FMIL did not do anything malicious, I'm not angry about it, just surprised I guess that I wasn't included, and now not sure how I should go about talking with her. 
to love is to be two, and yet one. A man and a woman blended as angels. Heaven itself... - Victor Hugo Wedding Countdown Ticker
Report Reply to Post

Re: Big deal or no big deal?

  • msuprincess04msuprincess04 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer

    If she's hosting the RD then her take care of finding a place and worrying about budget. After all, you've done what you can by suggesting places and she's chosen not to go there. Let it go and don't worry about it.

    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
    Report Reply
  • musicjailbird7musicjailbird7
    10 Comments
    Yeah, I think you're right. FMIL can have the RD as her party, I shouldn't be trying to jump all over everything anyway. Thanks.
    to love is to be two, and yet one. A man and a woman blended as angels. Heaven itself... - Victor Hugo Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • acaponi87acaponi87 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    No big deal.
    June 16, 2012
    image
    Report Reply
  • ermjdecember2015ermjdecember2015 member
    100 Comments
    To each their own. Personally, when my FMIL started talking about ideas she had for the RD I stopped her right there. I told her I would listen to her ideas and opinions, but all decisions are made by my FI and I. If you are ok with letting that be her night, then good for you, but I think its perfectly acceptable to voice your opinions and decisions.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • AbbynBrian13AbbynBrian13
    100 Comments
    She may be paying for it.. but... its YOUR wedding. You and your FI should be included in where its being held. Infact it should be your final choice!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    The RD is the only thing in a big long bunch of wedding-related events that the groom's family gets to host.  Let them host it.
    Report Reply
  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_big-deal-or-no-big-deal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:772ea497-a248-47dc-bc63-ee569e8acf6dPost:7fcd1e35-0e90-43ab-986f-b3120cd5cdf8">Re: Big deal or no big deal?</a>:
    [QUOTE]She may be paying for it.. but... its YOUR wedding. You and your FI should be included in where its being held. Infact it should be your final choice!
    Posted by AbbynBrian13[/QUOTE]

    <div>Do you not get the concept of HOSTING?  </div><div>
    </div><div>The host always has final say on where and how their money is being spent. Period.   A good host would take the guests of honor's preferences into consideration. </div><div>
    </div><div>OP - I think it's a little odd you have lived their your whole life and she isn't asking for help, but at this point they are just looking at places.  I would let it go and be happy that you have one less thing on your plate.</div>






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    Report Reply
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_big-deal-or-no-big-deal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:772ea497-a248-47dc-bc63-ee569e8acf6dPost:7fcd1e35-0e90-43ab-986f-b3120cd5cdf8">Re: Big deal or no big deal?</a>:
    [QUOTE]She may be paying for it.. but... its YOUR wedding. You and your FI should be included in where its being held. Infact it should be your final choice!
    Posted by AbbynBrian13[/QUOTE]

    Um, no.  This is wrong, so wrong.

    Report Reply
  • RailWayWifeRailWayWife member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    No big deal, let it go
    Report Reply
  • harpsdesireharpsdesire member
    500 Comments
    I just let FI's parents handle it 100% and was glad that was one thing I didnt have to stress about.

    But it is wierd that they didn't ask you when you expressed interest in helping.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards