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WOW-Invitation Etiquette Anyone?

DLuchnerDLuchner member
10 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Well, I got in invitation in the mail yesterday to a wedding reception and just had to share!  It's a destination wedding so we are invited to an appetizer reception only which is fine, but it was the added card that was included.  It said "We didn't register, we didn't need any more stuff, but as for financial help, you can never have enough".  Even with a poem, asking directly for money is not cute!!  I'm not even one to care if someone includes their registry info on an invite b/c it seems to happen alot, but this was alittle much!! 
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Re: WOW-Invitation Etiquette Anyone?

  • FutureMrsDudley55FutureMrsDudley55 member
    1000 Comments
    Wow. I'm speechless. Greedy much?
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  • qwerty777qwerty777
    100 Comments
    Geez, I would probably bring them a giant empty box. Or maybe a couple bills wrapped in a tiny box with duct tape, and put that inside increasingly bigger boxes, each one wrapped in duct tape.
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Yeah I would purposely buy them "stuff" then.  Or a gift card.  But I can almost guarantee I wouldn't be giving them cash after that.
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  • georgia_bride09georgia_bride09 member
    5000 Comments
    How far away is this destination wedding? If I flew somewhere only to get appetizers, you'd better believe their gift would be me using their gift money on dinner for myself.
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  • Sloane99Sloane99 member
    500 Comments
    That is terrible, I'm also wondering about traveling for a destination wedding and only being fed appetizers. I wouldn't be okay with that either.
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  • JennaV26JennaV26
    1000 Comments
    How annoying, people's ignorance keeps astounding me. But I agree with Georgia, if I fly to a destination wedding for you, you better be providing me with a full meal.
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  • DLuchnerDLuchner member
    10 Comments
    oh sorry, probably didn't write that right.  It's a destination wedding, so it was more of an announcement of them getting married and we are invited to just the reception part when they get back, appetizer reception only. 
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  • Stackeye210Stackeye210 member
    5000 Comments
    I bet they thought they were so clever too!  :) 
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  • baystateapplebaystateapple member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wow-invitation-etiquette-anyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8559ce52-c34a-4687-abc5-6aae33b5e2bdPost:82ec2efb-5a05-407e-ba1a-fbf2c7c17a18">Re: WOW-Invitation Etiquette Anyone?</a>:
    [QUOTE]oh sorry, probably didn't write that right.  It's a destination wedding, so it was more of an announcement of them getting married and we are invited to just the reception part when they get back, appetizer reception only. 
    Posted by DLuchner[/QUOTE]

    So they're expecting people to fly out, for an appetizer reception, not to even see them get married...and they're asking for cash?

    Ouch.  Yeah, I would be declining.
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  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    If I were in a really snarky mood, I'd give them a card with monopoly money inside with a note that they can put it towards their dream home on Park Place.
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  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    2500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wow-invitation-etiquette-anyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8559ce52-c34a-4687-abc5-6aae33b5e2bdPost:15e502de-c2e2-4141-8471-73bee525e36c">Re: WOW-Invitation Etiquette Anyone?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: WOW-Invitation Etiquette Anyone? : So they're expecting people to fly out, for an appetizer reception, not to even see them get married...and they're asking for cash? Ouch.  Yeah, I would be declining.
    Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

    I think they're expecting a few people to attend the DW wedding, but OP was invited to thoe local post-wedding appetizr-only reception.

    I'd buy them a whole bunch of useless stuff. Without a gift receipt. That's terribly rude.
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  • abbygrace8abbygrace8 member
    10 Comments
    My second cousin and his now wife eloped in Gaitlinburg, TN and invited NO ONE, not even his parents. They had a really casual party a few weeks later and put that exact same poem in there, except they traded out the "financial help" for a less-subtle "cash." Everyone was already pissed enough that the bride refused to let any family attend, even the groom's mother, that the note just torqued everyone off that much more. I didn't even go, and I don't think my grandmother did either. It was sooo tacky.
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  • SparrowSongSparrowSong member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its
    Yeah, give them nicely wrapped photocopies of your airfare, hotel, and dinner receipts.
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  • arv266arv266
    500 Comments
    I've received an invitation that included the stated - Although the best gift is your company, cash gifts are preferred......
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  • baystateapplebaystateapple member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wow-invitation-etiquette-anyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8559ce52-c34a-4687-abc5-6aae33b5e2bdPost:d439450d-796b-4325-a8ad-cb0a6cec0947">Re: WOW-Invitation Etiquette Anyone?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I've received an invitation that included the stated - Although the best gift is your company, cash gifts are preferred......
    Posted by arv266[/QUOTE]

    WOW, talk about a faux pas!  I see where they were going for there, but damn!
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  • georgia_bride09georgia_bride09 member
    5000 Comments
    So the AHR is apps only? I still think that, plus the poem, would lead me to politely decline. It sounds like a money-grab to me. "We'll give you a bacon-wrapped date and a caprese skewer if you give us $100". No thanks.
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  • MirandaaschMirandaasch member
    10 Comments
    Ouch.

    I just attended a wedding this weekend that had a similar poem in it. We didn't give cash!

    My FI and I are on a tight budget right now (I'm going back to work after being laid off for two months and he's in school) and frankly, we had no cash to give!

    We gave them what we'd been planning on giving them all along: a portrait. I'm an artist and get commissions all the time.

    If they don't like it, they can lump it!
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  • AllAboutTheBenjaminAllAboutTheBenjamin member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    You gotta send them something completely stupid that they totally don't need, can't return and wouldn't ever re-gift.


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  • breezerbbreezerb member
    500 Comments
    I would send them a toaster...
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  • Meg1979Meg1979
    500 Comments
    Wow.  Cute little haikus do not make this situation better.  Get them really obnoxious kitchen gadgets.  How about a giant cherry pitter? 
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  • jenellsrevengejenellsrevenge
    100 Comments
    edited August 2010
    Go buy them some random as seen on TV appliance from Big Lots or somewhere like that. They'll never figure out where it came from and they'll be stuck with stuff!!!!
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  • skippylouwhoskippylouwho member
    1000 Comments
    I would be giving them ugly "stuff" - like something really ugly to hang on their walls or a really ugly lamp.
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  • DLuchnerDLuchner member
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wow-invitation-etiquette-anyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8559ce52-c34a-4687-abc5-6aae33b5e2bdPost:45d7340b-4e3c-46b3-968b-8d0e8bd58f79">Re: WOW-Invitation Etiquette Anyone?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow.  Cute little haikus do not make this situation better.  Get them really obnoxious kitchen gadgets.  How about a giant cherry pitter? 
    Posted by Meg1979[/QUOTE]

    HAHAHA that one made me laugh, too funny!  Yes, I agree, I don't know how come people think putting it in a poem makes it any less crass. 
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  • TTiger03TTiger03 member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited August 2010
    Don't know if you have anything like this there, but we have flea markets here.  You can get all sorts of stuff there (most from boxes destroyed in freight or knock-offs).  I suggest a giant box of damaged toothbrushes or even a bag of "irregular" socks.  They shouldn't cost more than a couple of dollars.
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  • TrishesTrishes
    100 Comments
    That's a poem that calls for a gravy boat as a present.
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  • kathrynhabibtikathrynhabibti member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Comments
    [QUOTE]Well, I got in invitation in the mail yesterday to a wedding reception and just had to share!  It's a destination wedding so we are invited to an appetizer reception only which is fine, but it was the added card that was included.  It said "We didn't register, we didn't need any more stuff, <strong>but as for financial help, you can never have enough"</strong>.  Even with a poem, asking directly for money is not cute!!  I'm not even one to care if someone includes their registry info on an invite b/c it seems to happen alot, but this was alittle much!! 
    Posted by DLuchner[/QUOTE]
    I just read this to FI. He suggested that if they need financial help, a great gift would be an appointment with a financial adviser :^P
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  • DLuchnerDLuchner member
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wow-invitation-etiquette-anyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8559ce52-c34a-4687-abc5-6aae33b5e2bdPost:a5336e99-ff0a-4257-b997-35a66b65380e">Re: WOW-Invitation Etiquette Anyone?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I just read this to FI. He suggested that if they need financial help, a great gift would be an appointment with a financial adviser :^P
    Posted by kathrynhabibti[/QUOTE]
     LOL  Yes that is perfect!
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