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Planning everything while he's deployed!

HeatherBobHeatherBob member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Military Brides
I basically am planning everything while he is deployed. He's due home in October, but I feel as if I will already have everything set byt he time he's home. I feel sort of selfish because I'm choosing the DJ, the venue, the flowers. He's given me his blessing to do all that sorts of stuff - but I promised him I'd wait to order the invitations and pick the foods. However, being that our wedding is only four short months away - I ended up having to order the invitations myself and pick half of the food... e-mail him the menu... wait a few days... and then put his half on the response card. He doesn't mind it one bit, he says it's okay - but I'm stressing out that I'm going to choose something he hates and he'll be upset with me! Ahh... the stress of military life :/
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Re: Planning everything while he's deployed!

  • SpunkchinSpunkchin member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Don't worry. I planned everything and H was only a few states away.
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  • segreantarmedsegreantarmed member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My sailor is in South Carolina, I'm in Oregon and we're getting married in Texas!

    I've been trying to get as much as I can together for our December wedding, but I don't like how one-sided everything feels. I run everything by him, and he's happy to let me choose, but I choose my wedding ring and our venue without him even getting to see pictures.

    It's not really the ideal situation, but we're more concerned with starting our life together than having the perfect party!
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    OP- by him saying it doesn't care what you pick, what he really means is "I'm so glad she is getting all of this taken care of while I'm gone so I don't have to deal with it."  Trust me, H was there all along during planning (well 2 hours away) since he's on shore duty right now, but he still didn't want to know or hear about half the stuff I picked. 
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  • iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Trust me when I say he really isn't going to care.  Can you wait and do the cake tasting when he comes back?  That is usually one of the only things they guys care about. 
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  • catemegcatemeg
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, my guy will still be inactive reserves (law school) when we get married, and he's already told me that he believes the only role of the groom is to make sure the bride is happy.  And we're not even engaged yet!

    Just include him in whatever things you can.  Perhaps have him help choose the music - entrance song, cake cutting song, first dance?  That's probably something he's got an interest in, and will actually probably notice during the wedding.  And I agree with the cake tasting - that's another thing he'll actually notice and care about.  Right now he's focused on other things, so even if he was the type of person who would want to have input on the planning of the flowers and appetizers and tableclothes, it really isn't going to matter when it happens.  He'll be so happy you've taken care of it, and will be thrilled to see you coming down the aisle.  That's all that will matter!
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  • HeatherBobHeatherBob member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for all your advice & opinions. Your all probably right in saying that he's happy that it's all being taken care of. I guess I feel different because he isn't here and I feel it's something we should do together - but... he'll be home in 1.5 months so it's closer than I know it!
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  • jessiimae22jessiimae22
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've have planned everything , & i really mean everything while my FI is gone . He returns soon & our wedding is only about five weeks away . Just include him in what pp's have said . It's not too bad . In the end you will still be married !
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  • WendyC01WendyC01 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hi,
    I am in the same situation.He told me to plan everything and when he comes home for his R&R, we will both go through everything together.But then he returns to Afghanistan and won't be home until early next year.which means that I have to get family members to do the cake testing for us since we are having the reception in another state.Just remember overall, they will be happy with anything we do.They are men of the Marines and just want us to be happy.At least that is what he says.Don't stress,enjoy the planning because in the end you will both be joined.
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  • meganiobemeganiobe
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My FIance is going to be oversea for the next year and we are going to be getting married about 4 weeks after he gets back, it is a little stressful having to tak it all on by yourself, but in the end it will all be ok. Fh has already told me that he would rather me plan most of it anyways! The only thing he was worried about was making sure that he got to pick the guys who were going to stand up with him before he left!
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  • ver1256ver1256
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I'll go ahead and jump on the bandwagon. I'm in the same boat, heh. I'll graduate college at the end of this semester and the FI and I will have a few short months to spend together before he leaves on his deployment. The wedding is about a year away and he'll have to take leave to be there with me. But don't be discouraged about having to plan everything! You've got members of your wedding party there who are more than willing to help. Divvie up the workload! =]

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  • elcjoneselcjones
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Same situation. I've planned everything, but one of the ways I let him get input was email him pictures or send him pictures in the mail or different invitations, menus, or table setting ideas etc. He would respond(whenever he got access to those things) and made hm feel incorporated. We are getting married on his leave in Jan. I would suggest letting him help you with place setting when he gets home if you are a DIY bride.
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