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Obviously I want extended family to be there, but...

JKcarlenJKcarlen member
First Comment
in Minnesota-Minneapolis and St. Paul
I am driving myself crazy trying to pin down the best date for everyone. 

Should I be concerned with a couple of my cousins (one will be a junior in HS and one will be a senior in HS) who potentially might have their prom on my 5/5/12 wedding? 

I was THIS CLOSE to sending in the deposit, then my mother delightfully reminded me of the prom factor.  Ugh.
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Re: Obviously I want extended family to be there, but...

  • Bimbi284Bimbi284 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    NO! Your wedding day is going to be more important to you than a prom. If they can't go because of their prom, that's on them, not you. Go with the date that you want!
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  • rachi1285rachi1285
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with PP. A wedding is SO much more important than prom (even though the girls might not agree at this point in their lives!). And it's just a MAYBE that their prom will be that day? Book it! If it's important to them, they'll come to your wedding!
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  • kgettingmarriedkgettingmarried member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Your wedding should be on YOUR schedule, not your teenage cousin's schedule.  If there is a conflict of schedule for them, they will have to learn how to prioritize and decide what is the most important thing to them.  For me I'd choose prom over a wedding since you only get a couple of proms, so they may not attend, but teenagers need opportunities for decisionmaking like this.

    I hope it happens to DS when he's in high school so he learns how to handle it before he leaves the nest.
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  • wittyschaffywittyschaffy member
    Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    oh gosh - you're going to drive yourself batty trying to accommodate everyone's schedules.  Plan it for when you want it and they'll figure it out.
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  • PoliceWife104PoliceWife104
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_obviously-want-extended-family-there-but?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:aed2a102-ecdd-41d1-a21f-d012c22c16f7Post:25b4fcfd-c329-4a45-a88c-59bfdb7d89c8">Re: Obviously I want extended family to be there, but...</a>:
    [QUOTE]oh gosh - you're going to drive yourself batty trying to accommodate everyone's schedules.  Plan it for when you want it and they'll figure it out.
    Posted by wittyschaffy[/QUOTE]

    THIS!
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  • musicalsunlightmusicalsunlight member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, cousin prom dates should be REALLY low on the list of things to avoid when planning your date.
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  • ogrady88ogrady88 member
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    edited December 2011
    Yeah, I wouldn't worry about it, my extended family is around 100 people, if I had to plan around all their schedules we wouldn't ever get married.  I'm sad that some may not make it, but I also want to get married.  When it comes to the schedule, we only talked to immediate family members only.
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  • SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You can't cater to everyone's schedule-it'll drive you nuts! Live do happen outside of weddings, and heck if they can't make it, then they can't make it.

    I wasn't able to go to my cousin's labor day weekend wedding because I was moving into my very first dorm room :-) that was definitely NOT something I could skip, lol.
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  • SarahMarie85SarahMarie85
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    edited December 2011
    I disagree with PP's a little.  Yeah, to the rest of us, Prom is not a big deal.  But I'm also assuming we've all been there, done that.  But remember how big of a deal it was to you when you were in high school.  It's one of those big events that you don't want to miss!  With that said, if you are really close with them and you would just die if they were not there, I would consider the date when planning the wedding.  If you're more or less inviting them because you have to, then I wouldn't.

    Sorry, I don't mean to stir the pot, but I used to work in college admissions, and honestly, high school kids think prom is like the second coming of Jesus.  So I just thought I'd throw that out there.  But ultimately, you have to do what is best for you and your fiancee.  If it is imperative you get married that specific weekend, like maybe it's sentimental or just no other weekends will work, just go with it!
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  • MilitaryBride2BeMilitaryBride2Be
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm in the boat of you need to not drive your self crazy worrying about a few other people's schedules. That said, how close are you to these people. If you're super close and there are only like 2 younger cousins, ask your cousins when theyir proms are this year and that should give you a pretty good idea of when they are next year.

    My sister was on a college cheerleading team that went to nationals every April. Even if the weekends over lapped she would have to be at the competition because of her scholarship. Since I wanted to get married in April I ended up calling the National Cheerleading Association and asked when nationals were for the following year. Granted this was my little sister/ MOH and she HAD to be there, but if you really want them there, there are ways to go about it lol
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