Wedding Reception or Dinner?

goodine11 · January 2012

I am having a destination wedding at an all-inclusive resort ( stay, food, taxes, tips). To have a reception at the resort is 55-65 dollars with 16 percent tax per person. My family plans on having a reception when we get home for all those that could not come ( Meet/Greet the Bride and Groom). Would you still have a reception there at 55-60 dollars per person or would you have everyone go to a one of the six restuarnats there to eat dinner?

goodine11 · January 2012

PS... we have 43 people at coming to the wedding.

daria24 · January 2012

If you have dinner at one of the 6 restaurants-can they set aside a separate area for you guys? Can you bring in a cake or champagne or something "extra" to treat your guests? I understand it seems like a waste to pay for dinner when everyone could eat for free, but I do think its necessary to host SOMETHING for the guests who traveled all that way for you DW. So even if that means eating the dinner that people have paid for anyway, either add some extras to it or have a cocktail hour before hand that you guys hosts as a thank you.

I have to admit, if I spent all the money to go all the way to the DR for a wedding and then all I got was the dinner I had personally paid for, I would be upset.

sweetcanadian1979 · January 2012

I would say have the reception dinner, it is private, they can put you right on the beach at some places & that usually includes cake & champagne does it not?

mek20 · January 2012

We went to a DW in Key West, FL and all they had was a "light faire". We were really upset because the trip cost us upwards of $600/person, with all travel expenses, gifts, and meals etc while we were down there. It left a really poor taste in our mouths, and the sad thing was this was family.

I am sure your guests will be paying a bit more than we did, so IMO, I think they will appreciate the extra reception that you host for them.

BrooklynNovia · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_wedding-reception-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:08efd97a-2dcd-4418-b944-778c7b59e071Post:37fa9128-af54-4ee6-9051-6738cb89f318">Re: Wedding Reception or Dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]We went to a DW in Key West, FL and all they had was a "light faire". We were really upset because the trip cost us upwards of $600/person, with all travel expenses, gifts, and meals etc while we were down there. It left a really poor taste in our mouths, and the sad thing was this was family. I am sure your guests will be paying a bit more than we did, so IMO, I think they will appreciate the extra reception that you host for them.
Posted by mek20[/QUOTE]
I agree with this. People are deciding that your wedding is worth spending more of their own money on than average and you should host them to a full reception. <div>
</div><div>FI and I are spening about $2K next month to go to a wedding in DR. We want to go and are thrilled for the couple, but I'd feel put out if there wasn't a hosted a reception.</div>

Shanee18 · January 2012

These 43 people are flying to a different country and staying in hotels/resorts/whatever to see you get married. I think you owe it to them to treat them as if they were at an actual wedding, and not going out to dinner. IMHO, you should have crunched numbers and looked at cost before even choosing your venue.

goodine11 · January 2012

Yes, they do give us cake and champange for after the wedding. My Fi and families issue is that people have already paid for food which is included with the cost of staying, so why would be spend more money to eat the food they have already spent money to eat... I am in the middle, I say they came to the wedding for us but then Im like my family.

L&J2012 · January 2012

If you chose the reception there, would that include an area for dancing and such? If so, would you be willing to give up the first dance and just partying all night long to save some money?

Also, would you be able to maybe pay for part of each guest's bill that covers dinner? I'd be a bit put off if I traveled to a wedding and then found out I really just paid for my own dinner. If the bride and groom covered the cost of dinner in our resort bill, though, that would probably help a little.

kelsey+brandon · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_wedding-reception-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:08efd97a-2dcd-4418-b944-778c7b59e071Post:37fa9128-af54-4ee6-9051-6738cb89f318">Re: Wedding Reception or Dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]We went to a DW in Key West, FL and all they had was a "light faire". We were really upset because the trip cost us upwards of $600/person, with all travel expenses, gifts, and meals etc while we were down there. It left a really poor taste in our mouths, and the sad thing was this was family. I am sure your guests will be paying a bit more than we did, so IMO, I think they will appreciate the extra reception that you host for them.
Posted by mek20[/QUOTE]

<div>I completely agree. They're making the effort to get out there, so you should make the effort to throw a nice reception.</div>

Ash61612 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_wedding-reception-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:08efd97a-2dcd-4418-b944-778c7b59e071Post:a072a5c5-3bd0-49bd-86da-01def81e876e">Re: Wedding Reception or Dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]These 43 people are flying to a different country and staying in hotels/resorts/whatever to see you get married. I think you owe it to them to treat them as if they were at an actual wedding, and not going out to dinner. IMHO, you should have crunched numbers and looked at cost before even choosing your venue.
Posted by Shanee18[/QUOTE]
agree with Shannon and everything that has been said. Your guests are going above and beyond what attending a regular wedding costs so you owe it to them to treat them to a nice reception. Traveling to a DW is expensive and this is something that needed to be considered before decidind on a DW.

melfacto · January 2012

We went to a DW in November (in WP as well) it cost us around $4K, for dress / tux and trip costs, etc... I probably would have been upset if the couple did not have a reception afterwards, they actually had a cocktail party with speechs for about an hour and a half and than we went to the reception dinner with dancing, it made it feel like a wedding, especially since we all went to dinner together almost every night we were there it made it special.

Shanee18 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_wedding-reception-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:08efd97a-2dcd-4418-b944-778c7b59e071Post:0dbd5d0f-60fa-4031-8d26-f25a6d5ca4d5">Re: Wedding Reception or Dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, they do give us cake and champange for after the wedding. My Fi and families issue is that people have already paid for food which is included with the cost of staying, so why would be spend more money to eat the food they have already spent money to eat... I am in the middle, I say they came to the wedding for us but then Im like my family.
Posted by goodine11[/QUOTE]

If you & your family are not going to provide a real reception, I would make your guests aware ahead of time and try to help their costs in some other way. I can only imagine that guests will be spending at least $1000 to be a part of your special day, and I think it is a bit absurd that you/your family doesn't want to spend $65/pp in return.

I wouldn't go to a DW pay for flights, lodging, gifts etc. only to find out that I paid for my own wedding "reception" meal as well.

I'm not in anyway trying to be mean or anything, but I think you need to put the huge difference of cost for your guests vs. you/your family into perspective.

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