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October 2011 Weddings

Asking wedding party

Hi Ladies -

  How soon are you guys asking your bms to be in the wedding party? I haven't asked any of mine yet and am not sure when I should ask them. I don't want it to be awkwardly early, but I want to give enough notice. Have any of you asked people yet? Thanks!
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Re: Asking wedding party

  • I have asked all but one of my BM. Mostly for money reasons, a lot of them can have the extra time to save up, one actually told me she was happy it was so far in advance so every month she can put aside some money for her dress. 

  • We've asked about half of our wedding party, my brother and his sister and his neice are going to be in our wedding and my bestfriend is my moh, we havent asked any others yet though
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  • I've asked all of mine and Vhati asked all of his groomsmen.  We knew who we wanted, so we asked so they can start saving.  We know one of my BM and one of Vhati's GMs won't be saving till October of this year, because they are getting married this September, so their wedding, obviously, comes first for them.
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  • I only have a MOH and a Bridesmaid, FI only had a BM and a Groomsmen.
    Plus the flower girl and ring bearer.

    We have asked each of them.
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  • We've asked about half our wedding party so far.  Only reason we haven't asked the rest is timing.  We want to make sure to ask each of them face to face.  Difficult with everyone's busy summer schedules.

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  • We have asked all of our Bridal Party.  We kind of already knew who was going to be in it.  Family and very close friends that we know will be there forever.  My parents are hosting an engagement party for us and I'm thinking of getting my BM's and MOH little gifts... thanking them for saying yes! 

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  • Just be careful about asking your WP too soon, a LOT will change in a little over a year.  Our own WP has changed twice already and because of that, I wish I would've waited.  As of this moment, FI is down to 1 GM and started with 3...for various personal issues, 2 have them have stepped down on their own.  I'm sure 1 of them will stand up when the time comes...but it sucks going through all of that and not knowing.  We both definitely wished we would've waited until next year.
  • I agree with future-mrs. I asked my WP too soon and wish I would have waited. My MOH and I don't even talk anymore. It has nothing to do with the wedding, she just got a BF and totally forgot about all of her friends. 
    But now I am stuck trying to figure out what to do. I have decided that I am not even going to look at BM dresses until 6 months out.
    FI has asked his Best Man and that is it. He was a little smarter with the situation then me.
  • erolliserollis member
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    edited July 2010
    We already asked because our wedding was going to be this year and then we changed it. We have had some, sorta, gm drama already. Fiance and the gm just don't talk anymore. They still are on good terms with each other and just drifted apart. Some of this has to do with the best man (other friends also) and said gm being on bad terms now. So I have a feeling he will no longer be a part of the wedding party. We will see.

    Moral of the story. Don't ask to soon. Also ask only your nearest and dearest. Who would be in jail with you? If you ended up in jail by yourself would they bail you out if they had the money?

    8-6 months before the wedding is a good time to ask.
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  • Thanks everyone! My FI already asked a couple of his guys, and I'm going to ask my sister to be the MOH, but I'm going to wait a little bit for the rest of them.
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  • All of my BM's pretty much know, but I am officially asking them on August 7, which is our engagment party!
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  • I would say that waiting is a good idea. I asked someone to be my MOH the day I told her that I had gotten engaged. I thought that it would be fine we had been friends for 23 years. Now we never talk and have not see each other in so long. I do not think that we are even friends anymore. And it totally sucks. I don't even know if she will be getting an invite to my wedding. Some things happened between us and even thought the friendship is more important the her being my MOH is really sucks, I always thought that she would be there but I guess not. SOOOOO I would wait.

    Oh but I did as my SIL I dont really have a choice with that one...lol
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2011-weddings_asking-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:650Discussion:1f9a6fa7-2336-40bc-9603-3ca2c7d28317Post:de4f1e07-4410-4fcd-b447-a8d3884df902">Re: Asking wedding party</a>:
    [QUOTE]I only have a MOH and a Bridesmaid, FI only had a BM and a Groomsmen. Plus the flower girl and ring bearer. We have asked each of them.
    Posted by saorisenyl[/QUOTE]

    Same for me except 2 ringbearers. We've asked everyone already. The MOH, bridesmaid, BM, and gm are our best group of friends. My niece will be the flower girl and FI's 2 nephews are hopefully going to be the ring bearers (the parents disagreed when we asked so we're letting them figure it out).

    As someone said earlier, part of asking so early was so everyone can start saving up since everyone's only a year out of college so far (except me).
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