Registry cards in engagement invitations?

Ktrudel · September 2010

I am getting married next July and having an engagement party in Novemeber, should I put where we are registered in with the invitations? I have heard that you are not supposed to, then read that it is ok. Help please!

tpender13 · September 2010

I wouldn't. The general rule is to tell your parents/wedding party, and they can let people know by word of mouth.

That being said, I've never been offended when I receive invites w/registry info.

quotequeen · September 2010

Absolutely not.

Rosie109 · September 2010

Well whoever is throwing the engagement party for you should be handling the invitations, so its up to them. Would I be put off by receiving an invitation with registry information? Yes. Its not a birthday party.

Meg1979 · September 2010

For invites, it's a no no, but I think it's okay to put them in a shower invitation (if there is one being planned for you).

marissa_claire · September 2010

I feel like no one ever has a hard time finding a registry so I don't get why so many people have q's on this. In short - no it's not okay to put it anywhere besides the shower invites, which is up to whoever plans your shower. Anytime I get an invite w/o registry info, I just go try to look up the bride or groom on Target, then BBB, then Walmart.... and so on and so forth. It takes maybe two minutes to find and I would never call it an inconvenience.

eastunder1 · September 2010

What kills me about this is that there are people out there telling brides that its totally fine to include registry cards for everything they do, apparently.

danieliza1127 · September 2010

Definitely no. An engagement party isn't really a gift giving event. Most people aren't even registered by then, as the engagement party should be within about 3 months of your initial engagement.

Registry info is only okay in wedding shower invitations and on a wedding website. That's it.

texagj · September 2010

Do- put your registery on your website, trust word of mouth, allow your host to put in bridal shower invites

Don't- put on wedding invitations or engagement party invites.

Word will get out. No worries.

opalsky007 · September 2010

Gifts should never be mentioned in an invitation unless your shower hostess chooses to do so, and only then because the whole point of a shower is to shower the bride with gifts.

Rosie109 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-cards-engagement-invitations-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7bab51f2-a29f-4f26-9bac-ade7aba54fe8Post:95ba90d3-716b-44dd-a7cb-0bfd754e5768">Re: Registry cards in engagement invitations?</a>:
[QUOTE]What kills me about this is that there are people out there telling brides that its totally fine to include registry cards for everything they do, apparently.
Posted by eastunder1[/QUOTE]

When we registered at Macy's the lady gave us cards to put in our invites and FI got all excited.. I was like, no dude. Settle down that shiit isn't happening.

LD1970 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-cards-engagement-invitations-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7bab51f2-a29f-4f26-9bac-ade7aba54fe8Post:8654e6de-dfe1-430c-a13c-1636ac1bae0e">Re: Registry cards in engagement invitations?</a>:
[QUOTE]Definitely no. An engagement party isn't really a gift giving event. Most people aren't even registered by then, as the engagement party should be within about 3 months of your initial engagement. Registry info is only okay in wedding shower invitations and on a wedding website. That's it.
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]
Is this the only part of the country where an engagement party IS a gift-giving event? I've never been to one that wasn't!

Meaghann17 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-cards-engagement-invitations-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7bab51f2-a29f-4f26-9bac-ade7aba54fe8Post:95ba90d3-716b-44dd-a7cb-0bfd754e5768">Re: Registry cards in engagement invitations?</a>:
[QUOTE]What kills me about this is that there are people out there telling brides that its totally fine to include registry cards for everything they do, apparently.
Posted by eastunder1[/QUOTE]

me too! i was at a wedding expo this past weekend and all the stores there advertising their registry services offered free inserts for invitations, then a stationary vendor displayed samples which included registry information

Celles · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-cards-engagement-invitations-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7bab51f2-a29f-4f26-9bac-ade7aba54fe8Post:95ba90d3-716b-44dd-a7cb-0bfd754e5768">Re: Registry cards in engagement invitations?</a>:
[QUOTE]What kills me about this is that there are people out there telling brides that its totally fine to include registry cards for everything they do, apparently.
Posted by eastunder1[/QUOTE]

Of course, those are the same people typically earn commissions off of registry sales -- so take their words with a grain of salt and twist of lime. ;)

[Deleted User] · September 2010

LD- I'm from the Northeast too and I would never go to an e-party empty handed. And, I'm not talking about bringing a card or a bottle of wine either. We usually give a monetary gift or the smallest thing I have brought was a personalized 8x10 frame from Things Remembered.

I think it's super important to keep in mind that these are international boards. When in doubt post the same or a similar location on your local board. It may give you better perspective as to what is appropriate in your area.

Rosie109 · September 2010

I wouldn't think that ettiquette goes out the window because you crossed a state line, but then again the question wasn't whether or not its appropriate to give a gift at an enagement party.. it was whether or not its appropriate to tell your guests were you are registered at. And its not.

Brooklclark · September 2010

I am not usually a stickler for everything etiquette I think that some stuff can fly in some situations what works for some won’t work for others but I would say NO WAY to this one. I know it can be confusing some magazines say one thing and the next one says another, even the most anal picky etiquette driven brides can admit that some of this stuff is not that clear with everybody saying something else. Good luck with your planning but this really is not a good idea.

Mrs.B6302007 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-cards-engagement-invitations-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7bab51f2-a29f-4f26-9bac-ade7aba54fe8Post:ceb4e2db-cdea-42b2-ab01-326312ed382d">Re: Registry cards in engagement invitations?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registry cards in engagement invitations? : I would consider an engagement party a gift giving event in the sense of a nice bottle of wine, or some pretty wine glasses, or a flower basket. Something a guest picks out themselves to show well wishing if they are so inclined. Not something that mandates gifts like a shower, therefore requiring the registry process.
Posted by eastunder1[/QUOTE]

ditto the bunny

emelydiaz87 · September 2010

I would include your wedding website on the invite and them have your registry info on there. That is what I have done! and no one was offended because I have a whole bunch of other information on there that people have been asking for like roomblocks and things like that.

ootmother2 · September 2010

NO

ARod22 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-cards-engagement-invitations-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7bab51f2-a29f-4f26-9bac-ade7aba54fe8Post:a831ef72-b370-4c5a-996a-52ac6afdfb73">Re: Registry cards in engagement invitations?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registry cards in engagement invitations? : I wonder about that sometimes too :-) There's always been gifts at any engagement party I've ever attended in Phllly or NY -- and they're typically registry gifts. But I would still never include any registry info in any invitation (including a shower invitation).
Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]

So does this make a wedding a gift giving event? Or an event where msot people happen to bring gifts?

tenofcups4me · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-cards-engagement-invitations-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7bab51f2-a29f-4f26-9bac-ade7aba54fe8Post:b43d199e-692f-4d7d-bbad-1e448d418921">Re: Registry cards in engagement invitations?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registry cards in engagement invitations? : So does this make a wedding a gift giving event? Or an event where msot people happen to bring gifts?
Posted by ARod22[/QUOTE]

Huh? I'm not following what your point is, but yes a wedding is a "gift giving" event the same way a shower or engagement party (in my crowd) is if you mean that one typically gives a gift at those events.

kathrynhabibti · September 2010

[QUOTE]What kills me about this is that there are people out there telling brides that its totally fine to include registry cards for everything they do, apparently. [/QUOTE]

[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registry cards in engagement invitations? : I would consider an engagement party a gift giving event in the sense of a nice bottle of wine, or some pretty wine glasses, or a flower basket. Something a guest picks out themselves to show well wishing if they are so inclined. Not something that mandates gifts like a shower, therefore requiring the registry process.
Posted by eastunder1[/QUOTE]
I agree on both of these.

AAAW07 · September 2010

I'd say that the engagement party is a place for welcoming someone into the other person's family, and including the registry information is inappropriate at such an early stage in the engagement.

However, where I come from (Midwest USA), people typically include registry information with the invitations to showers (because someone else sends them besides the couple) AND with the invitation to the wedding. In the wedding invitations, people usually include a seperate card/sheet with the hotel information (it's nice for the older folks without computers or who don't know how to use Internet very well) and then a sentence on the bottom that says something like, "The bride and groom are registered at X, X and X." The little cards given out at the stores aren't really included.

erikasara824 · September 2010

I agree with some of these comments: Put the registry info on your website and use word of mouth. What I will also suggest is that maybe you could put your website address on your invitations with a byline of "Stay updated on our wedding at http://yadayada" and [most] guests are usually smart enough to figure it out. I've heard that ones that aren't usually call.

kalago0424 · September 2010

I agree that I wouldn't put registry cards in engagement invitations - as was mentioned earlier, most people aren't registered yet, and I would expect more along the lines of bottles of wine as well. However, I'm going to go against the grain and say that yes, it's fine to include registry cards in shower and wedding invitations. Traditionally, it was a no-no, but there are My sister got married last year, and I gave her a huge shower and didn't put registry info in because I didn't want to be "rude." I kept track - all but 6 of the 48 guests called me to ask where she was registered. I'm a busy person; I don't have the time or the cell phone minutes to take that many calls. They got a lot of calls for the wedding as well. The vast majority of people bring gifts to weddings, and most of those want to be told what to bring. I'm including registry info in my invitations, and if people are offended, let them be offended - it's my wedding.

gruban · September 2010

I've been to Engagement parties where the bride and groom include in their invitation where they are registered. I myself am having an engagment party in 3 weeks and we included it in our invitation. Main reason being, our friends and family are used to that so it's not a big deal. If you feel that the people you are inviting are going to be offended, then don't put it on there but if you are close enough to your guests and know that they won't get offended then add it in. It's simply all up to you. All these "do's and dont's" are sooo dumb. It's your wedding, do what you want.

anjellyca721 · September 2010

I've been to and in about 10 weddings, and I've ALWAYS received an invitation with the little insert for where the couple is registered at, if it's not already printed on the invitation.

Is this a TX thing or a Hispanic thing? I don't want to break etiquette rules, but I've ALWAYS seen it done? (And never been offended)

crystal27lynn · September 2010

We created a wedding site for our wedding and it had on it where we were registered. We also put on it our favorite restaurants and places to go incase anyone wanted to get us gift cards for those things we could use on special occassions. On our engagement party invite it said the website for us. That way we weren't throwing the registry in their face but they also had access to it. I hate having to ask around to find out where they are registered. All the weddings I've been to in the last several years had the registry info in their wedding invitations. I wasn't offended at all. Our Save the Dates also had our site on it

gruban · September 2010

I think it is a hispanic thing lol...cause this is what i'm used to

Mrs.B6302007 · September 2010

Just a thought for all of you who are going to do this (no matter what proper etiquette says): be careful about registring too early. If you're registering in time of your e-party and the wedding's not for another year, you run the risk of having items discontinued and/or changing your mind on things. I only had a 4 month engagement and changed my mind on several items on which I had read reviews and discussed with people who had experience with those items. I imagine there are many more possible changes with a registry that's been open for a year. Just a thought.

Registry cards in engagement invitations?

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